gekkajuu: commissioned, please do not steal (eatsushi025_zpsl088y94k)
中島 敦 ([personal profile] gekkajuu) wrote in [community profile] nysalogs 2017-09-10 09:52 am (UTC)

It really is a compliment, but maybe that's the problem: even now, compliments will often make Atsushi uncomfortable, confronting him with how he doesn't feel he deserves that kind of praise. But in this case, at least, he has a clear answer to give.

"I don't know if anyone is kind by nature. But I think anyone can make the decision to be kind."

Atsushi can't give up on that, just as he can't give up on trying to see the best in most people. He doesn't know himself if it's a good thing; it probably just makes him weak for needing that kind of hope. But he really does need it, desperately. He's always needed it, and he's only come to need it more since he was cast out of the orphanage. Maybe he's talking high and mighty about imagining different things and the like, but he fears finding out that there really is no foundation for his hope more than anything. He still fears finding out that the headmaster was right about him, even if he's come to learn why the headmaster said those terrible things to him.

But... so far he's only seen his hope confirmed. And that makes it worth clinging to all the more. If he just clings hard enough, maybe this truth for the future will undo less pleasant truths of the past.

"Well, if it's a what-if story, it doesn't matter if it's impossible, as long as it makes you think. Or, rather... sometimes it's easier to think about if it's impossible." It's hard to explain himself in a way he thinks Mikazuki will understand, but he's determined to try. "For example: if the story was about a bad politician from your own world, you'd already know exactly what you feel. You wouldn't be open to thinking about it anymore. But if the story is about an evil king who turns out to be cursed, his actions having a reason even if they are terrible, maybe you'd be willing to try to see his point."

Post a comment in response:

This community only allows commenting by members. You may comment here if you're a member of nysalogs.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting