[ it's going alright until close to the end. John's learned most of the rough details of the events surrounding each hostage situation, and they're all terrible. he can understand this reaction from Prior - it makes sense, not to want to be at the whim of medications and otherwise for now. especially him, used to it in other ways. he can follow. he can't back down, but he can follow. he very almost softens under it, almost lets his shoulders settle in response to the drawn form of the man in front of him.

and then I guess if I collapse out there someone will probably call you and John's jaw clamps shut. ]

I'm sorry. [ for what happened, and he is, and maybe sometime in the future he'll revisit that to walk around its edges and afford Prior whatever awkward trace of sympathy he has to give - but right now it just sounds hard, and pissed off, and like it might not even be about the events Prior described at all. ] But they like me here about as much as I like them. And given that I spent hours trying to drag people who'd been brainwashed to kill me or themselves before I could touch them out of one of the wards in the back, that isn't very much. Nobody will call me. And even if they did, if you think I have the time to come running to make sure you're alright when there are beds full of people here and across the city, doing what they need to in order to recover— no.

[ and he doesn't move out the way, but he does lose some of the tension of a man ready to stop. he won't be moving into the way either. ]

I hope you do alright, Prior.

[ but if he's going to make this choice, he can deal with the Sanctuary staff. John's not going to mop up after him - not at others' expense. not when all it'll be doing is reaffirming that he'll be there to do it the next time. no. ]