[In the seven years they’ve known each other, not once has Chuuya ever believed that Dazai would look at him the way he looked at Odasaku. Whatever bond the two of them had shared had been special enough that even someone like Chuuya could see it, when he’s all but blind to subtle longing and hidden meanings behind words. He never understood why Dazai was so goddamn fascinated with a nobody like Oda, or why the guy’s death had been enough to push Dazai to abandon the only home he’d ever known and defect to the ADA. How could the bastard just throw Chuuya away like that?? They acted as two halves of a whole, fierce and unyielding as the infamous Soukoku, and yet none of that fucking mattered in the end. Dazai had left him behind; it’s as simple as that.
At least, that’s what Chuuya has believed for seven goddamn years, and now Dazai is, for the first time in Chuuya’s life, causing him to question every fucking thing he’d ever thought to be true. If Dazai really cares about him the way he’s saying, then all of Chuuya’s rage and hurt will all have been for naught...
Of course the bastard could be lying; he’s good at that, after all. And yet, as Chuuya is hauled into Dazai’s lap, Chuuya’s conviction wavers, those lips pressing hot against his own breaking down that sturdy wall that Chuuya had built around his heart all those years ago like sledgehammers against glass. It’s not fucking fair how easily Dazai weasels his way into Chuuya’s life time after time, reappearing just when Chuuya thinks he’s gone for good. It’s easier to let go of something when it doesn’t keep coming back and tempting you, after all.
But here Dazai is, once again turning Chuuya’s life upside down in ways that will last and last.
It’s those words, ”it’s not a place or a purpose for me, but a person”, that finally shatter Chuuya’s resolve. He throws himself completely at Dazai then, as if he’s hurling himself right off a cliff with the hope that he’ll be caught before he falls. How dare Dazai reappear now and say the one thing Chuuya has been waiting to hear since they were teens?? To anyone else those words might mean exactly what they sound like, but to Chuuya, it’s a declaration of love louder than any three words could ever be.
Maybe it’s a lie, but if it is, then Chuuya wants to die believing it.]
God damn it, Dazai.
[There’s no real anger behind those words, and the evidence of just how Chuuya feels in return well up in the corners of his eyes and threaten to spill over like a dam that’s been holding back a flood for far too long. When’s the last time he allowed himself to shed real tears?? Stupid Dazai...!
The backdrop of the bar fades from Chuuya’s mind, and all that’s left is the here and now that Chuuya still can’t quite believe.]
You better fucking mean that, or I swear I’ll kill you nice and slow.
[Chuuya devours Dazai’s mouth then, as if he’s afraid to hear confirmation that this is all some sick joke on Dazai’s part. He bites Dazai’s lip and sucks on his tongue, as if he’s a fire that’s just trying to light Dazai ablaze. His weight settles atop Dazai as if they were made to slot together like this, and what happens next is all Chuuya cares about.]
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At least, that’s what Chuuya has believed for seven goddamn years, and now Dazai is, for the first time in Chuuya’s life, causing him to question every fucking thing he’d ever thought to be true. If Dazai really cares about him the way he’s saying, then all of Chuuya’s rage and hurt will all have been for naught...
Of course the bastard could be lying; he’s good at that, after all. And yet, as Chuuya is hauled into Dazai’s lap, Chuuya’s conviction wavers, those lips pressing hot against his own breaking down that sturdy wall that Chuuya had built around his heart all those years ago like sledgehammers against glass. It’s not fucking fair how easily Dazai weasels his way into Chuuya’s life time after time, reappearing just when Chuuya thinks he’s gone for good. It’s easier to let go of something when it doesn’t keep coming back and tempting you, after all.
But here Dazai is, once again turning Chuuya’s life upside down in ways that will last and last.
It’s those words, ”it’s not a place or a purpose for me, but a person”, that finally shatter Chuuya’s resolve. He throws himself completely at Dazai then, as if he’s hurling himself right off a cliff with the hope that he’ll be caught before he falls. How dare Dazai reappear now and say the one thing Chuuya has been waiting to hear since they were teens?? To anyone else those words might mean exactly what they sound like, but to Chuuya, it’s a declaration of love louder than any three words could ever be.
Maybe it’s a lie, but if it is, then Chuuya wants to die believing it.]
God damn it, Dazai.
[There’s no real anger behind those words, and the evidence of just how Chuuya feels in return well up in the corners of his eyes and threaten to spill over like a dam that’s been holding back a flood for far too long. When’s the last time he allowed himself to shed real tears?? Stupid Dazai...!
The backdrop of the bar fades from Chuuya’s mind, and all that’s left is the here and now that Chuuya still can’t quite believe.]
You better fucking mean that, or I swear I’ll kill you nice and slow.
[Chuuya devours Dazai’s mouth then, as if he’s afraid to hear confirmation that this is all some sick joke on Dazai’s part. He bites Dazai’s lip and sucks on his tongue, as if he’s a fire that’s just trying to light Dazai ablaze. His weight settles atop Dazai as if they were made to slot together like this, and what happens next is all Chuuya cares about.]