[ Ever perceptive, Dazai doesn't miss the subtle cues that all his efforts to bring further comfort to Linneus only leave the other man conflicted. He comprehends preferring to skirt the spotlight of other's attentions. No matter how loud and boisterously he behaves to suit some situations, wearing a harlequin mask to hide his honest feelings, when the situation tries to focus upon him simply for his sake then Dazai always bails.
Holiday parties, birthday celebrations, festivals; these times where people are meant to bond more wholly and knit their souls with those closest to him are simply excruciating. So he hides himself away, lingering within the safety of his own closed doors or taking foot to wander the streets that are almost as sleepless as he is.
The uncertainty at being attended to is so clear that Dazai gradually reins in those acts of kindness, seating himself with only the tea as he permits Lula her self-proclaimed perch once more. ]
Choose for me? [ Maybe this is more Linneus' speed. ] I don't know where to begin, it all looks so good.
[ A soft amicable smile on his face, Dazai knits his brows in gentle approximation of coming to a crossroads and finding himself lost over the decision. It's a silly social ploy, deflecting decision-making over to a partner if only to give them a sense of worth and respect. But if it offers Linneus the chance to resume the role of caretaker as opposed to the one being doted over, then the effort is worth it. ]
Oh, you're talking about these?
[ He planned for Linneus to notice them, so he's not surprised the conversation hedges around his own injuries. And while it was only to make Linneus feel less alienated from the outside world of those unaffected by so much trauma, he has no desire to shift the conversation away from Linneus. The full extent of his own injuries are a pandora's box which Linneus doesn't need to open. Not unless he's prepared for what lies beneath. ]
No, I wasn't. [ But before Linneus can feel alone again, he corrects himself. ] Not here on this world.
[ But was he taken? Yes, in every sense of the word that Linneus could possibly mean. Stolen away from those who loved him, taken elsewhere by someone flesh and bone with schemes to use him at their disposable, and subjected to events he would rather no one know.
So he comprehends the effects of torture, recognizes a damaged mind that comes with a wounded body, and resonates with Linneus' suffering. No matter if his own show of endless horrors took place on another world at another point in his life, fresh scars still appear as often as those memories resurface. ]
cw: abuse / self harm
Holiday parties, birthday celebrations, festivals; these times where people are meant to bond more wholly and knit their souls with those closest to him are simply excruciating. So he hides himself away, lingering within the safety of his own closed doors or taking foot to wander the streets that are almost as sleepless as he is.
The uncertainty at being attended to is so clear that Dazai gradually reins in those acts of kindness, seating himself with only the tea as he permits Lula her self-proclaimed perch once more. ]
Choose for me? [ Maybe this is more Linneus' speed. ] I don't know where to begin, it all looks so good.
[ A soft amicable smile on his face, Dazai knits his brows in gentle approximation of coming to a crossroads and finding himself lost over the decision. It's a silly social ploy, deflecting decision-making over to a partner if only to give them a sense of worth and respect. But if it offers Linneus the chance to resume the role of caretaker as opposed to the one being doted over, then the effort is worth it. ]
Oh, you're talking about these?
[ He planned for Linneus to notice them, so he's not surprised the conversation hedges around his own injuries. And while it was only to make Linneus feel less alienated from the outside world of those unaffected by so much trauma, he has no desire to shift the conversation away from Linneus. The full extent of his own injuries are a pandora's box which Linneus doesn't need to open. Not unless he's prepared for what lies beneath. ]
No, I wasn't. [ But before Linneus can feel alone again, he corrects himself. ] Not here on this world.
[ But was he taken? Yes, in every sense of the word that Linneus could possibly mean. Stolen away from those who loved him, taken elsewhere by someone flesh and bone with schemes to use him at their disposable, and subjected to events he would rather no one know.
So he comprehends the effects of torture, recognizes a damaged mind that comes with a wounded body, and resonates with Linneus' suffering. No matter if his own show of endless horrors took place on another world at another point in his life, fresh scars still appear as often as those memories resurface. ]