[ the girl isn't dutch. the girl is who she used to be before she became dutch. the girl is yalena yardeen and the girl is someone dutch has been trying so hard to leave behind. the girl is someone dutch has been trying so hard not to be.
she doesn't want bruce to see this. she's glad it's him seeing this instead of a stranger. he already knows— he already knows the monster that lives inside her, the weapon khlyen turned her into, how he'd pointed her at people and pulled the trigger. it's still hard, seeing him see this. seeing it herself, too. ]
It's a memory. [ not real, though it was. this isn't happening right now. it can't be. ] Why the hells are we in a memory?
[ she can focus on that instead of the little girl dislocating her own shoulders to escape her bonds, just like khlyen taught her. ]
no subject
she doesn't want bruce to see this. she's glad it's him seeing this instead of a stranger. he already knows— he already knows the monster that lives inside her, the weapon khlyen turned her into, how he'd pointed her at people and pulled the trigger. it's still hard, seeing him see this. seeing it herself, too. ]
It's a memory. [ not real, though it was. this isn't happening right now. it can't be. ] Why the hells are we in a memory?
[ she can focus on that instead of the little girl dislocating her own shoulders to escape her bonds, just like khlyen taught her. ]