Only more bizarre than the scenario Ianto finds himself in is the question John turns to him and asks. Where does this look like to you?

Ianto's expression pinches with confusion as he casts a glance around at the sand around them before back at the other man. "I don't know," he says, honestly. "I've never set foot outside of the UK before this, not even on holiday. You can't ask me a question like that. Taliban?"

He gives John's new fatigues another once-over before glancing back at him, alarmed. "This isn't Afghanistan. The planet's been destroyed, John."