gekkajuu: commissioned, please do not steal (光と風と夢)
中島 敦 ([personal profile] gekkajuu) wrote in [community profile] nysalogs 2018-04-14 08:37 pm (UTC)

[Atsushi freezes when Chuuya calls his name, feeling like he's been caught doing something bad. He knows what he's doing, more or less, and he knows that it's not right. He just doesn't know what else he can do right now.

He doesn't turn around: he's not sure he can look Chuuya in the eye. But he stops, and he listens, and he tries to focus on Chuuya's voice as much as he can.]


I wonder.

[He used to believe the same, but reliving everything has definitely dragged him back from a lot of progress he thought he'd made. Maybe if the kidnapping hadn't messed with his head so much, it'd be easier to handle; as it is, he feels like a lot of his hard work (or, okay, running away) has been for nothing.]

I thought I had - or that I'd come a long way, if nothing else. I don't feel so sure of it anymore.

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