Those aren't your only options. You can love. Yourself, others. Your sister would be furious to know her brother spent all his time letting your choices eat at you.

[He heaves a sigh, bringing himself to hold his gaze longer than a few seconds.]

My father taught me that principle is important, and I am not going to lie to myself, say I don't miss him. Just as you don't lie to yourself and say you miss yours.