Because when the time came for him to make a choice between that life and the people he loved... he chose the people he loved.

[Of all the times he's made himself vulnerable to Byerly, he thought the worst of it would remain their second night together. His tongue was too loose, he was too easy to pry into, but he scraped by enough that it remained a level playing ground. Now, knowing perhaps all there is to know, is much less dangerous and more... defeated. There's something distinct about this place that reflects it, the way the wind is so cold it feels it blows right through you. It was warmer before, more blissful then. Now it's like having a source of heat within arms reach and knowing it'll burn you too hard if you take it.]

It was a hard choice to make. Some would never.