He was just a piece of shit. No suffering involved.
[ Which must be true. He was just a petty little monster. Right? There was nothing to the old man aside from his greed and his spite, the judgmental little barbs thrown at Byerly and at the Vorrutyers and at all the Vor from the Emperor on down. There doesn't need to be some deep well of sorrow that underlies misanthropy. Some people are just bastards. Right?
By lifts his gaze from Prior's torso - not quite meeting his eyes, yet, just focusing on his chin, but at least it's general upwards momentum. ]
And I could provoke him, sometimes. [ In his younger years, at least. Not when he was older, when Father had really settled into his icy remove, but on three satisfying occasions he'd said the right combination of things that Father had broken and slapped him. Here, this time, he should have been able to. He should have been able to get through, but instead -
By shakes his head. Just very slightly, the motion small and stiff and painful. ]
But you really think I had nothing to be ashamed of? Look. [ At Nadine, who's lost the steel she had when By was at the table. Not all of it - she's hardly falling apart - but it's clear she's fiercer when her brother is there. ] I was as much of a coward as your Louis.
no subject
[ Which must be true. He was just a petty little monster. Right? There was nothing to the old man aside from his greed and his spite, the judgmental little barbs thrown at Byerly and at the Vorrutyers and at all the Vor from the Emperor on down. There doesn't need to be some deep well of sorrow that underlies misanthropy. Some people are just bastards. Right?
By lifts his gaze from Prior's torso - not quite meeting his eyes, yet, just focusing on his chin, but at least it's general upwards momentum. ]
And I could provoke him, sometimes. [ In his younger years, at least. Not when he was older, when Father had really settled into his icy remove, but on three satisfying occasions he'd said the right combination of things that Father had broken and slapped him. Here, this time, he should have been able to. He should have been able to get through, but instead -
By shakes his head. Just very slightly, the motion small and stiff and painful. ]
But you really think I had nothing to be ashamed of? Look. [ At Nadine, who's lost the steel she had when By was at the table. Not all of it - she's hardly falling apart - but it's clear she's fiercer when her brother is there. ] I was as much of a coward as your Louis.