[ By takes in a breath, a long breath, that turns into a stifled sob. He doesn't cry - thank god, thank god for that, he's too disciplined to cry - but he can feel the threat of tears pressing at the back of his eyes, hot as quicklime. He wants to be sick. He might be sick.
And - what, then. What. All that time, sitting in silence, it was all his father could do to keep from screaming in pain instead? His father, his cursed cruel father, had been as much a victim as By had been - more than he had been, because Richars had been a sadist but he only forced himself on girls. Is that it? And so - ]
So - so what, then.
[ By looks at Prior, the frail prophet with the voice of the divine in his ear, or perhaps the huckster who's taken Byerly in completely and yoked his heart and who's now laughing at his confusion - stop being so fucking paranoid, By - And he's helpless. Because what does he do? What does he do with that? Byerly stands - quietly, unshowily, but unflaggingly - for those who've been fucked over by others' cruelty. But what does he do if his father falls into that category? That hated, hateful son-of-a-bitch? What then? ]
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And - what, then. What. All that time, sitting in silence, it was all his father could do to keep from screaming in pain instead? His father, his cursed cruel father, had been as much a victim as By had been - more than he had been, because Richars had been a sadist but he only forced himself on girls. Is that it? And so - ]
So - so what, then.
[ By looks at Prior, the frail prophet with the voice of the divine in his ear, or perhaps the huckster who's taken Byerly in completely and yoked his heart and who's now laughing at his confusion - stop being so fucking paranoid, By - And he's helpless. Because what does he do? What does he do with that? Byerly stands - quietly, unshowily, but unflaggingly - for those who've been fucked over by others' cruelty. But what does he do if his father falls into that category? That hated, hateful son-of-a-bitch? What then? ]
I forgive him? Just because - [ He breaks off. ]