[He hit the wall from her shove, denting it a bit. He shook it off with a roll of his shoulders and watched her. Like she had opened up some vulnerability and he was going to hit it as often as he could.]

You are afraid because any connections you make are ones that can either be used against you or taken away. It's better to drive them all away or keep them skin deep to protect yourself pain and to keep them from realizing just how much of a broken piece of shit you are.