...what am I supposed to do? I can't-- I can't force myself to be happy with it when I'm not.

[He's spent so much of his life pretending it was okay, ignoring the truth that was right in front of him, ignoring the way humanity suffered at the hands of vampires. How can he possibly, in good conscience, go back to the way he was when he was ignorant?]

It was different, when One was still... a-all he had to do was hurt me, and everything-- all the guilt I felt would be gone...