nysalogs | open | your name is on a lot of quotes in this book

Who: Claire Fraser (

nineteenfortyfive) & you
What: May things, lots of moping Claire... forgive me.
When: May
Where: Olympia
Warning(s): General Outlander warnings.

I. THE MARKET

[Her marriage is in an unpleasant place and she doesn't know how to fix it. Percy is in stasis. Ramsay is back. Theon was, for a brief moment, back in stasis as well, but only returned in a worse state than he was. It's been a lot to contend with on top of being so recently tortured (her her hands remain in gloves as her nails grow back, the last of the damage left), and one afternoon as Claire's in the market, standing before a fruit stand, it all catches up to her.

For someone who urges others to confide in someone, anyone, often herself, she doesn't follow her own advice.

She pushes other shoppers out of the way as she suddenly finds it hard to breathe, hard to keep her eyes from welling with tears, and if she slams into anyone there's no apology as she stumbles out and away.

She stops when she comes to a fountain, gasping and sobbing, a hand clutching at her neck as if there's something suffocating her, chest heaving rapidly. No, nothing physical, just an overwhelming sense of sadness. A sadness that turns into more of a frustrated panic as she tries to calm herself, leaning over the water.]

II. THE TRAIN/FLONA COVE

[Percy did have an affinity for water.

Claire knows she can't watch over Theon 24/7. He needs to stand on his own, and he can, and so Claire takes some hours for herself and heads to the beach. She's always enjoyed train rides. Perhaps she's even in the mood for conversation with whoever happens to sit by her.

At the beach, instead of collapsing on the sand and considering letting the waves wash her away, she takes a stroll, skirts tied up over her knees so she can walk in the small waves without getting drenched.

Now and then she stops to pick up a shell. By the end of it, she's got a hefty collection held in her skirt, and dumps her prizes where she's left her shoes.

Well. Now what to do with them?]

III. STASIS

[She spends more time here than she'd ever admit. She makes it sound like her visits are brief. They're not. On leave from the Sanctuary, she's had a lot of time to simply be.

Today, she stands before her daughter's pod. What she'd give to be able to touch her red hair, or at least feel her skin, make sure it's warm. All she can so is press her hands against the glass.]

Sometimes I think you're luckier, in there. Though you'd probably throw a fit at me saying that. I know you'd rather be here, too. I know.

[[ooc: pls choose your flavor of sad mom, or hit me with a wildcard! Oooooor send me a PM if you'd like me to whip up a starter, and I'd be happy to.]]

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[It's good to see Jon's willing to turn a new page when it comes to Theon. It's a relief, actually--Theon needs family, or at least as close as family as he's got. It's always been Jon and Sansa no matter how much he's dug his heels in the dirt and refused.]

He lives with a friend. Max. [Who just so happens to look like Ramsay. Claire considers telling him about this little curiosity, but decides to keep it to herself if he doesn't already know. It's not healthy for him, no, though that's the least of his problems.

Besides, Claire's lived 20 years with the man who shares the same face as Black Jack Randall. She can't really go around judging Theon for that particular friendship, can she?]

I'm going to remind him it's an option, but I doubt he'll take me up on it. I do have a key to his place, now. I'm over there as often as I can.

[To keep him company, to check on him, to make sure he's eating with those broken teeth.]

Ramsay is dangerous, yes, but... beyond killing him, I don't know what we can do.

[She tries to abstain from bloodshed, most days. There are exceptions.]

The one who looks like Ramsay? [He had met Max not long after his arrival and mistook him for Lord Bolton. While he knew that Max was safe, it was hard not to shake the similarities between them in appearance or to wonder if that was what Theon really needed right now.] I suppose if that's where he feels safe.

[Theon wasn't a boy to be coddled and he'd make his own decisions, much like the rest of his family in Olympia.

And Claire wasn't the sort to leave him in a dangerous situation. If she felt it was unsafe, there would be nothing to stop her from dragging him home. Claire could be quite ferocious.]

I don't know either. I think Sansa and Daenerys have something in mind.

[Or if they didn't, they were working on something.]

He should be watched. We would know if he found a new victim then...or if he's still manipulating Theon.

That's the one.

[So much for avoiding that. Claire isn't particularly pleased by Theon's living arrangement, shrugging, but Max does seem to have some genuine interest in Theon's well being. So, there's that.]

Theon would rather die than go back to what he was. I want to say I'd be able to tell if something was going on. He never wants to go back to him.

[He doesn't know what to make of Max. Ghost didn't hate the smell of him and he showed sense enough to stay inside during the hunt for Ramsay. But he barely knew the man and didn't want to make an early judgement, not about this.]

Theon would rather die.

[Just that, death. He won't bring up that Theon asked to be beheaded before he became Reek, as that man wasn't here anymore. But he had to wonder if the sentiment wasn't the same.]

At least he won't fall back into Ramsay's games by choice. But now Lord Bolton will want another outlet.

[Claire has no doubt that if there was an easy way out, and if he was in a certain mood, he'd take it. Theon already wishes he died by Robb's side. But out of respect for Theon, she keeps it to herself.]

Not by choice, but perhaps by accident. It sounds terrible, but all I can worry about right now is Theon. Sansa... she's far more capable than most people would give her credit for, and Jamie won't let harm come to her. I don't need to worry about her. Theon may not turn into whatever he was under Ramsay's hand, but he can still make him doubt, I think. He might find that entertaining. I don't know if he'd give up on him entirely even as he is now.

[She doesn't need to say anything. Theon had made his desire for death clear, even asking Jon to behead him. It was a coward's wish, born out not wanting to live with his guilt. While Jon had sympathy for Theon, he wouldn't let him escape so easily. They all had something to atone for, in one way or another.]

Sansa can manage Ramsay. I think she understands him better than anyone.

[It didn't make any of this easier, but there wasn't anything better that he could offer that Sansa couldn't do on her own. She was two steps ahead while Jon still tried to guess what new game Ramsay would play.]

No, he enjoys torturing Theon too much. If he thinks Theon can be his tool again, he won't let him go. It's why he shouldn't be left on his own. Ramsay might pull him back in.

Do you think you can convince him to stay with you?

[I could convince him to do anything, Claire almost says. She's no fool. She knows she's one of the few people Theon trusts, even now, and she holds the position of caretaker. He's always been vulnerable, and vulnerable with her, and if she really pulled the right strings, she could make him stay. But if he doesn't wish to, she won't force him. She can't bring herself to take advantage of that reliance he has on her now.]

I'll do what I can. If he doesn't wish to, I'll... do what I have been doing. I've always seen him often. That, he's not minded. He's going to need time to warm up to the idea.

[He would trust Claire with this. She knew Theon and would be able to tell if something were happening, or at least, would be able to sense it. He knew better than to force someone to accept that sort of help, having seen it before with Theon. It was better that it was Claire behind this, along with Sansa. They were here and they had seen this before.]

Have you seen him? Ramsay Bolton?

The last time I saw him was when everyone's memories were on display in the streets. [When she saw Winterfell with him.] I didn't just see yours, that day. I saw Ramsay and his father, as well as Theon with his.

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