I can’t say you’re wrong, but I wear it because I like it.

[There may be other reasons too, but he won’t go into those. Especially not when they’re pretty embarrassing.]

It’s kind of messed up that humans put them on their pets when the pets have no say, but it’s also good for identifying them in case they get lost.

[He reaches over to poke Keaton’s nose.]

Not all of us have great sniffers, after all.