[he could be pushed away - easily so - but if that were to happen, what then? The people he has met here, the relationships he has nurtured here, they're all that he has left, really, and Linneus is someone who has thrived off his connections, always, even when he shouldn't have. He had been a demonstrative child, approached the world with a heart wide open. But that child, that open heart, had had to be shut away once he started work at the Teahouse. It was hard. He still got hurt, was still burned, because his heart would reach out despite is efforts, despite knowing he was only being used so long as he was wanted. As long as he was desirable.
He had tried building walls, hiding his heart away, and that hadn't worked. So instead he learned to brace himself for the hurt. Learned that there were ways to keep going, however patched and broken that poor heart became. After years of that, opening himself up again was harder still. But it had happened, somehow, and the patches in his heart began to fill as he allowed them to. He had connections here, friendships, and perhaps friendships that could grow into something more, with some careful tending.
The things he thought himself most likely to lose are all that he has left, after all of this. The loss of them just leave him raw.]
You were. But I don't mind.
[for all that, he cannot lay claim to anyone's attention, anyone's time. But he lifts his arms obediently to let Dazai remove the shirt, a slight twinge in his left shoulder. Bruised and scraped in a lot of places beneath his clothes, and his skin is still a slight patchwork on his sides and torso, places his clothing can hide.]
no subject
He had tried building walls, hiding his heart away, and that hadn't worked. So instead he learned to brace himself for the hurt. Learned that there were ways to keep going, however patched and broken that poor heart became. After years of that, opening himself up again was harder still. But it had happened, somehow, and the patches in his heart began to fill as he allowed them to. He had connections here, friendships, and perhaps friendships that could grow into something more, with some careful tending.
The things he thought himself most likely to lose are all that he has left, after all of this. The loss of them just leave him raw.]
You were. But I don't mind.
[for all that, he cannot lay claim to anyone's attention, anyone's time. But he lifts his arms obediently to let Dazai remove the shirt, a slight twinge in his left shoulder. Bruised and scraped in a lot of places beneath his clothes, and his skin is still a slight patchwork on his sides and torso, places his clothing can hide.]