[Atsushi has risked his life for his friends and/or the greater good more times than most other people would even consider, but it's usually happened without really thinking about it. There was no choice, at the time. He just did what needed to be done.
It's the same now, but somehow Chuuya hinting that they may well die breaks something in Atsushi anyway. It's not his own life that he's afraid of losing, but for the first time, he really considers that Chuuya might die, and it hurts so much. He remembers how he felt when he thought Dylas had died, and all he wants is to deny that it will ever happen, but overwhelming sadness makes him choke, constricting his throat to the point that he can barely breathe. He knows, yes. But he's still not sure he can handle it.
Even so, he keeps going and heals Chuuya, because what else can he do? It's working - and then everything is over, all refugees suddenly back on Thesa. It should be a relief, but somehow it doesn't register like that. Nothing really registers like that. Atsushi is left with a purely hypothetical grief that he hasn't processed even a little, and he barely has any attention to spare for the monitors as he remains crouched where he was, his eyes following Chuuya, but all the rest of him dazed and confused.
Give him a moment. Or, better yet: don't, because this could take a while.]
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It's the same now, but somehow Chuuya hinting that they may well die breaks something in Atsushi anyway. It's not his own life that he's afraid of losing, but for the first time, he really considers that Chuuya might die, and it hurts so much. He remembers how he felt when he thought Dylas had died, and all he wants is to deny that it will ever happen, but overwhelming sadness makes him choke, constricting his throat to the point that he can barely breathe. He knows, yes. But he's still not sure he can handle it.
Even so, he keeps going and heals Chuuya, because what else can he do? It's working - and then everything is over, all refugees suddenly back on Thesa. It should be a relief, but somehow it doesn't register like that. Nothing really registers like that. Atsushi is left with a purely hypothetical grief that he hasn't processed even a little, and he barely has any attention to spare for the monitors as he remains crouched where he was, his eyes following Chuuya, but all the rest of him dazed and confused.
Give him a moment. Or, better yet: don't, because this could take a while.]