"For god's sake," Ianto bites out. "Don't want to keep hurting me so you figure you'll what, just do it the once instead, is that how it is?" He would say that he's as bad as Jack, but Jack never even let him get this far. Jack would twist him so far around that he'd start to think he's wrong for thinking or feeling the way he did, until the next time they'd be apart and the thoughts would be back and the cycle would start again. John, though. John's trying so hard to convince himself this is for Ianto's own good.

"If you really don't want me around that much then just tell me," he says, his voice rough and low. He wishes he could wipe his eyes but he's got medical cream all over them and it would only be a bad idea. "Or if not then tell me otherwise. But don't make this about what's good for me. I sat by that damn tube for three days, three days and the whole time I couldn't. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't. Not knowing whether you'd actually wake up. And I'm still here, aren't I? And I'll still be here the next time you pull a damn stupid move like this and maybe some day you'll actually listen to me if only to spare me those three bloody endless days, John." And maybe all these breakdowns after the fact as well.