He should have seen his coming, yet all the same it somehow catches him off guard. John feels the question as subtly as a brick to the head, and his expression skips through unease before shutting down to something neutral.

"Kind of complicated," he begins -- evasive, uncomfortable. He doesn't really know why. He could easily skim over the details without really telling her everything, he's good at doing that. It's just still too sore. You can't honestly blame yourself for what happened out there, Ianto had said to him, but he can and he still does. He picks up his tea again to give himself a reason not to expand, takes a slow sip.