icingonthecake: (pensive)
icingonthecake ([personal profile] icingonthecake) wrote in [community profile] nysalogs 2018-07-26 01:23 am (UTC)

Axel knows, honestly. He knows that Roxas wouldn't want him to shoehorn his life into something he didn't want it to be just to make someone else happy, that would have been the ultimate hypocrisy. But that doesn't change the fact that he does want to be someone Roxas can be proud of, and be the good friend he always deserved.

The way Roxas' expression falls at his reaction to the news makes Axel feel a little guilty (or at least remember guilt. He remembers guilt very well). He shakes his head and lowers his eyes.

"No, I didn't know," he says. "I mean I knew that something must have happened, because you'd never have gone to DiZ on your own, but I didn't know it was Riku." He gives him a weak smile. "You want I should beat him up for ya?"

He's kidding, and figures Roxas can tell that much. He and Riku aren't quite friends yet, he thinks, but there's a mutual respect and amicability, and ultimately, he knows that Riku's motivations couldn't have been too different from his own, when he'd kidnapped Kairi. They had both been willing to do something awful to someone else for the sake of their best friends, and while he couldn't say it was a laudable sentiment, he could at least relate to it.

"Ah, I had wondered why he looked like that creep," Axel says then, and gives a snort of laughter. "I met up with him a couple of times, after that had happened. He helped Naminé get away from DiZ, eventually, and I didn't recognize him the first time I saw him wearing that face. He told me his name was 'Ansem', and I just about died laughing." He shakes his head, still chuckling. "He couldn't have known that I actually knew Ansem and knew damn well he wasn't him, but it was hilarious in the moment."

The laughter dies quickly when Roxas folds in on himself, though, and Axel's chest aches for him at his words. He remembers very clearly the conversation he'd had with the kid once upon a time, about having things you couldn't bear to lose, how Roxas had confessed that losing his memories of him and--

--?

'And'? What 'and'? It had just been the two of them. Weird. Maybe he was still groggy from having been in stasis again.

As painful as it had been to find Roxas in that digital town and be treated like a stranger, Axel couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him to realize his entire life had been erased, and everything that he thought he knew was a lie. At least he'd gotten those memories back.

"I know, kiddo," he says, putting a hand on Roxas' shoulder again. "I was too angry at the time to really appreciate how awful that must have been for you, so I guess... sorry I just kind of exacerbated things, back then."

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