John frowns at floor. It feels a difficult question. He knows logically he is, he just doesn't know if it's... the right kind of wanted.
It feels selfish to be fussy, though. Prior's hurting and he's lost people and he's sick and what's wrong with John other than a bad case of self-involved idiocy? ]
I dunno.
[ He says, which is a non-answer. Which is the answer he gives when he does know but feels like he shouldn't say it.
But no, this is stupid. Why is he incapable of doing this even in a dream? Which can't he ever --
John curls up a little for a moment and makes a low sound of frustration, like he's seconds from exploding, then pushes to his feet abruptly and paces out the energy. ]
I hate this.
[ Low, emphatic. He takes a breath, shoots a guilty look at Prior and lets it out slowly. ]
Not --
[ He gestures around at the boat, winces and rubs at the back of his neck as he paces. ]
I hate lying, but people don't really want the truth.
[ When people ask how your day was, they don't actually want to hear it was shitty. ]
no subject
John frowns at floor. It feels a difficult question. He knows logically he is, he just doesn't know if it's... the right kind of wanted.
It feels selfish to be fussy, though. Prior's hurting and he's lost people and he's sick and what's wrong with John other than a bad case of self-involved idiocy? ]
I dunno.
[ He says, which is a non-answer. Which is the answer he gives when he does know but feels like he shouldn't say it.
But no, this is stupid. Why is he incapable of doing this even in a dream? Which can't he ever --
John curls up a little for a moment and makes a low sound of frustration, like he's seconds from exploding, then pushes to his feet abruptly and paces out the energy. ]
I hate this.
[ Low, emphatic. He takes a breath, shoots a guilty look at Prior and lets it out slowly. ]
Not --
[ He gestures around at the boat, winces and rubs at the back of his neck as he paces. ]
I hate lying, but people don't really want the truth.
[ When people ask how your day was, they don't actually want to hear it was shitty. ]