nysalogs | closed

[ Not too long ago, after his trial, Bucky had gone through a phase. He'd track down people the Winter Soldier had hurt— the women he'd widowed, the children he'd orphaned. He'd explain to them all that he knew about how they had died, and the why of it. And he'd apologize, even though he knew it didn't help any. If you'd asked him then, he'd say he wanted to give these people closure. And he did want that, but he also wanted something for himself.

Not forgiveness. Not absolution. He'd wanted a penance.

Which is a roundabout way of saying that he ain't looking forward to this conversation, but he still wants to have it. He's done his best to make his little living room straight on short notice. He's even tried to make coffee, and bought a plate cookies from a neighborhood market. You can't get chocolate chip here, it's the damndest thing.

There isn't a good place to start, but Bucky rubs his hands together like that'll work up a spark. ]

I told you about Zemo before, right?

[ His memories of this place are still a little hazy, though they've been growing sharper. ]

[ Bucky sets it up old school— a cryptic message he doesn't sign, a meeting in an old part of town, where the shadows are thicker than people. It's cliché, but you know, before everything else, he was a kid who spent all his last nickels catching Phillip Marlowe flicks.

He thinks Ocelot will appreciate it, at least. If he even shows up, that is. ]

[ Steve isn't exactly sure what to expect, but as far as he's concerned, he isn't worried. He knows the kind of man Bucky Barnes is, and he trusts him. There's really no other thing to it than that.

So when he gets the invitation to catch up, as it were, the only thing Steve asks is, 'where'? And with a location and a time, he shows up to Bucky's little apartment.

The cookies and coffee is nice. Unnecessary, but it's nice.

He plucks a cookie from the plate and bites into it. ]

Yeah. I remember that conversation.

We tracked him down. Turns out he had a secret base on an island in the English channel. He was plannin' on launching a new drone rocket straight at London. Would've killed a million people, and changed the course of the war.

[ And by April '45, it was clear the Allies were winning. ]

So we had to stop it. I… [ His voice falls off, and he looks into his cup of coffee. This is how he lost the arm. ] The thing took off, and Cap and I both tried to... The only way to stop it that I could figure was to set it off. At least Steve let go in time. My hand got stuck.

And then— [ Then comes the hard part. ] Maybe I shoudl've started with Karpov.

[ He wonders if that name will be familiar to Steve, how similar their universes are. ]

Edited (small tags, my nemesis) 2018-09-16 23:24 (UTC)

[ He made tea.

Or, well, to be more accurate, he boiled water. Which is not quite the high mark of his culinary skills, but it isn't too far off. He hasn't got a kettle, yet—maybe Natasha would want one— but he did buy some tea from a stall down the road, and he's set it out as neat as he can manage on the tiny table in his none to large apartment. It's a gesture. ]

Natasha won't be in for a while, so we've got the place to ourselves. [ He says, when Ana arrives. ] Can I get you anything?

[ The name is certainly familiar, but only because Steve had read about him in his Bucky's file during his search for his best friend some years ago. As for a face-to-face encounter, nothing of the like occurred.

Steve's expression remains impassive.

And he takes the rest of it in. The stuff about Zemo, about the war, about Bucky losing his arm. He lifts his mug to his lips and takes a sip. He can almost hear the sound of gunshots and planes overhead, his own memories of the war surfacing. ]

It's all right, Buck. [ At his own pace, whatever he wants to share. Steve's here to listen, even when he's realizing that while their lives might share the same basic roots, their paths had diverged some time ago. ]

[ It isn't alright. None of this is alright. But that isn't Steve's fault. And he wants to talk about Karpov, wants to know if he's running around in other universes, making people's lives worse. ]

I met him back in '43. Me and Cap and the rest of the Invaders had an assignment on the Eastern front. The Red Skull… [ Well, that didn't have much to do with anything, so he condenses. ] Anyway, it was us and a handpicked NKVD squad. Karpov was the officer in charge of the Soviets. He and Cap… did not see eye to eye.

[ About what they should do with enemy prisoners, or deserters. It was a tricky op because of the politics. But he'd let Steve handle most of that. ]

When Zemo's drone went down, there was a Russian sub patrolling the waters, and word Karpov was on it. They couldn't find Steve, but when they fished me out, he told them that they could extract the Super Soldier Serum from my blood. He'd seen me fight and... I guess they'd been after it for a while.

[ A pause. ]

I don't remember any of this.

[ But he read the files, too. He wonders if any of this sounds familiar to Steve. When he can make himself look up, he searches Steve's face for signs of recognition. ]

[ He made tea. She appreciates the gesture, more than he might know.

His apartment is so much like hers it's almost depressing; it's sparsely furnished, utilitarian. Granted, he's only just returned. From what is the question at the back of her mind. War is bad enough, and Bucky had been carrying that particular burden for as long as she'd known him, but there's more going on here. ]

No, this is plenty. [ She sits at the table and helps herself to some of the tea. ] I didn't know you had a partner, Bucky.

I don't.

[ Natasha is just a roommate. And a friend. Whatever else he'd like them to be, he wants to give her space. ]

At least, I don't anymore.

[ His tone is matter-of-fact— he's been alone a long time. With a little difficulty, he pours some of the water into a mug and starts steeping a cup. ]

[ Ana makes a soft sound of acknowledgement, though she watches him contemplatively. There's so much about Bucky that she doesn't know, it feels like she's meeting him all over again. ]

What happened to you? [ It's blunt, but she's never been one to beat around the bush, and Bucky is more than capable of deciding how much or how little he wants to tell her. ]

[ Bucky doesn't mind the bluntness. It's almost refreshing— it's better than trying to weasel his life story out of him over drinks at dinner. Not that that would work.

He sits down, leaning over the back of his chair, waiting for the water to cool. ]

It's a long story. [ A pause, a hesitation. ] It's been seventy years, give or take. [ A little more than that, even. ]

[ what can he say, he's a naturally curious guy. and considering just how many people that he'd deny he cares about have gone back to stasis, he needs something to occupy his time.

and so, he shows up at the meeting spot, looking as casual as you could possibly be, and perhaps slightly (but incredibly fashionably late. ]

You know, back home I was always the one who's always waiting around. Figured it was someone else's turn for a change.

[ of course, he was still waiting for a certain someone in stasis. ]

I've done a lot of work for the government. I'm used to it. [ A lot of governments, it turns out. Turns out it's pretty much universal. ]

How long has it been, d'you think?

[ The time for him blurs together. Not just the decades past, but the seasons change, in Olympia. It's hard to get straight answers about Olympia, with all the coming and going. But it's different now. ]

[ he chuckles a little. ]

Isn't that the truth.

[ as to his next question... ]

Since I was home? Depends how you'd count it. It's been about a year and a few months since I woke up in stasis after the Storm. Before that, I'd been out of the Soviet Union for a couple years, what with the war in Afghanistan.

[ not that Bucky should know about that. given how he looks, and the fact he'd fought in the Second World War, he's probably still too early on in the timeline for all of that. ]

And you? You were just in stasis for a couple of months, and you come back looking like a real adult.

[ he might not know what the other man remembers, but he's changed from the Bucky that he'd met before. guess that just comes from living life. ]

[ Huh. He was in the Middle East in the 80s, after Karpov fell out of favor with the top KGB brass. Maybe he'll ask about that later. ]

Yeah, it's been a bit longer than that for me. [ Let's see if he can win all the understatement points. ] 2018.

[ Might as well admit it. Some people have already tried to explain to him what the internet is. ] People still call me kid.

Huh.

[ if he were still alive then, he'd be seventy-four. still younger than Bucky. which begs the question... ]

That makes you almost a hundred, doesn't it? I've known a guy or two that stayed active that long. [ a pause. ] They didn't look nearly as good as you, though.

[ there's a few things he could probably attribute his longevity to. ]

You know what they say. The more things change...

[ the more they stay the same... once a kid to someone, always a kid. Snake had still called him that, even if he was grayer than him now. ]

Yeah. Some people never grow up. [ He thinks about the soldiers he fought beside during the war, how many of them who had died, how many of them weren't much older than him, weren't older than him at all.

And, well. ]

93 by my math. [ Not by his count, or by his reckoning. ] I like to think I'm just old for my age. [ He doesn't quite laugh at his almost-joke, just an "aw shucks" chuckle. Bucky was never a boy scout, but there's still something about him that seems very American. It's why he was such a good Soviet agent. ]

[ see, now this is interesting. he's got a guess or two as to why he's so well preserved. but for now, he goes along with his casual attitude. ]

And I suppose it's your all-American diet that's responsible for your youthful glow? No wonder you ended up winning the Cold War.

[ he's heard enough about the future, and he knows enough in his own time to know what's coming. as much as world history changed from universe to universe, that was one thing that almost always seemed inevitable. ]

I dunno if I should spoil the ending. [ Something about the way Ocelot says "you"— the "you Americans" that it implies— makes Bucky feel self-conscious. Like an imposter. ]

As for the rest of it, I get a lotta beauty rest. [ He shrugs uncomfortably, knowing that's not much of an explanation, and gets to what he really wants to ask. ] You ever heard of the Winter Soldier?

Not like it makes that much of a difference now.

[ what with the world being destroyed and everything. ]

Can't say that I have.

[ which is definitely a surprise for him. after all, having been raised by a secret organization, and then founding another, he's kept himself up to date on most things. while he certainly wouldn't admit it, it somewhat annoys him, not knowing everything. ]

But, it sounds like a Soviet name.

[ after all, they did love their winter. ]

[ If the world's really been destroyed. ]

Really? [ Honestly, he'd never thought much about the name, what it really symbolized. ] You're right, though. Legendary Soviet assassin. They kept him in cyrogenic stasis between missions, which made him harder to track.

[ Most agents are someone else, too, someone besides the mission— fathers or sisters or friends. Not the Winter Soldier. ]

Sounds like us.

[ he can't help but laugh a little. ]

Of course, I was more familiar with the research we did into symbiotic parasites and ESP. But I knew more than a thing or two about most of what was going on.

[ it was something he prided himself on. ]

You have a run-in with him?

[ or was it... something more interesting? ]

Everyone's got a telepath division these days. [ S.H.I.E.L.D. had their psychics too. Probably the result of their own Cold War experiments. He hadn't looked into it too much. He wouldn't be too surprised if Empress Simwe had her own psychic spies. ]

And no. [ He winces. ] Not like you're thinkin', anyway.

Nice to hear someone out there eventually realized it was a legitimate field of study.

[ he still remembers grumbling to V, who insisted it had to be "Soviet Disinformation".

as he studies the other man's face, he hazards another guess. ]

...Does he have anything to do with your remarkable skin care routine?

[ after all, cryogenic stasis would be one way to explain why he's looking like a very young one hundred. ]

I wouldn't come lookin' to me for beauty advice.

[ He stuffs his hands in his jacket, forming something like a shrug. There's a "me" in that sentence where it doesn't obviously belong.

Bucky knows he should just come clean— say it out plain, like you would a picnic blanket.

But he hesitates. ]

[ he raises his eyebrow yet again. already, a few theories are beginning to form in his mind, from the likely, to the completely out there.

in his experience, the latter tends to happen more often than not. ]

You know, you always struck me as a proud American patriot.

[ an innocent enough comment, but there's a gentle pry underneath his words. ]

I am.

[ It isn't a defiant statement, or defensive. He's got different ideas about what it means to be a patriot than he did when he was twenty, sure, but he still wants things. For him and for his country.

But then, pitched a little lower, he adds: ]

It wasn't my idea.

I see.

[ he's looking at the other man's face, searching for a hidden story in what he isn't saying. still, when he talks, Ocelot knows exactly what he is referring to.

after all, manipulating the minds of others had always been his specialty. ]

Doesn't surprise me. We can be very persuasive when we want to be.

[ and truthfully, it sounds like he was "lucky", in a certain sense of the word. he still had his mind, his original personality. not everyone was so fortunate. and he'll say as much. ]

Looks like it didn't take.

Not for a while, no.

[ It's been years, at this point, since he got out. As out as you can get, anyway— not many spies ever really leave the cold. Sometimes the cold won't leave them. ]

I had a good friend.

[ his lips quirk into a smile. ]

Must've been some friend.

[ really, the fact his mind was completely intact was something else entirely. not that it was impossible with the right conditioning, but in his experience, near total destruction was what it really took for a new personality to take.

(it was almost a shame he couldn't outright ask about which methods were used.) ]

What was it that got you out?

[ a bold question, but he's curious, all right? ]

[ Bucky raises an eyebrow, just one. He wonders if this was a bad idea, talking here, asking these questions, and what good'll come of answering. But he's never folded easy, so what the hell. ]

The Cosmic Cube. It's a reality warping device. [ A simplification, but it'll have to do. What the Cube really is, is a curse. ] The Nazis were obsessed with it.

It could've made me forget, too. [ He thinks of Kobik, but that's a story he won't be telling. ]

closed

for steve

for ocelot

no subject

no subject

For Ana

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

strolls in one month late with starbucks

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject