[ OKAY BUT THIS IS K I L L I N G HER SHE HAS TO SAY SOMETHING, SHE CAN'T PHYSICALLY CONTAIN THIS INSIDE HER BODY ANYMORE— ]

I had not intended to shake your hand earlier, but instead to present it to you to kiss. I understand you are truly ignorant of these manners, but I feel it would behoove you to know how to properly introduce yourself to a lady.

[ Whew. ]