A Guarded Surprise

[tummyflowers]

Who: King Richard (tummyflowers) & Magnus Burnsides (ruffboi) & The Royal Guard!
What: Magnus and Richard have concocted a plan to train the new trainees. It's worked so well, why not try it on the other newbies?
When: This week
Where: Throughout Olympia, along several patrol routes
Warning(s): idk, maybe language and blood?


[It starts with an idea. Every great moment does, when two minds come together and realize that they can accomplish great deeds together. This is what had happened to Richard and Magnus some days ago. Now it was time for them to put that brainstorming effort to work. Since being assigned responsibility of the armory, Richard had been lending a hand in helping outfit and train some of the new recruits drawn in from the Olympian natives. They'd been young and keen lads who didn't entirely seem to grasp Richard's lessons, but they were still trying their hardest. And finally, after all the drills and strange parables of heroic valor, they were off on their first real patrols throughout the city. Richard had kindly volunteered to accompany them, even though he was very likely less equipped to do the job than they were.

Only once they were in the heart of the city did their real training begin, because Richard had enlisted the help of the swolest man he knew, a musclebound ginger with a brawny, hairy chest and an axe to match. He'd play the part of the violent criminal and give a chance to give the recruits some real hands on experience. Richard couldn't be more proud!]

OPEN PROMPT

[After some success(??) with the recruits, the two decide that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to help their fellow refugees who are equally new to the guards. It's a bit of a boring job, so something like this would surely spice things up and provide some motivation. So using his access to the patrol schedule, Richard has gone out to the city to join some of his fellow guards on their patrols all while a silent, lurking figure waits in the shadows... ready to strike.]

(tl;dr: fellow guards can have Richard show up on their normal patrols, only for Magnus to jump out and attack them! They're more than welcome to fight back and even beat up the poor guy! And yell at Richard too! It's for morale, right?)

Comments

[tummyflowers]

[Later it will occur to him that a helmet would have been great for concealing his identity but... that's a problem for more intelligent people.]

Excellent. You stay put and I'll be back in a jiffy!

[ruffboi]

[Lance he wasn't going to bring his axe down on your sweet head, he was just pretending, so the movement of the axe was nowhere near the head. He's still holding it back behind him, threatening to strike but not striking.

But he breaks out in a grin when Lance shoves Richard to the side, though. That's what he's talking about! Lance might look like a wimpy kid but he has the heart of a stupid self destructive champion and Magnus is extremely proud. So proud that he's grinning like a lunatic, and clearly loses the plot of this sneak attack, only remembering when Richard speaks.]

Uh, yeah. No offense, but I'm killing Richard because he owes me money. Unless you stop me? Why don't you show me what you've got! Or else, like I said, I'm killing Richard to death.

[song_of_ice]

You're not a ruffian or a threat, so I won't fight you.

[It's as if he wanted to be impaled.]

It wouldn't make for a good guard if I attacked anyone that took me by surprised.

What are you doing?

[punshots]

You noticed?! I got these new boots that -

[ However, any explanation about these cushy new boots he got is gonna have to wait, as are any other GREAT JOKES OR STORIES he had to tell. It's probably for the best, because Ironic Kind Richard can be a little wearying to be around, even if he doesn't show it. However, having an armed, hulking figure suddenly descend from a balcony in front of him isn't really any better of a situation to find himself in. ]

Oh, sh -

[ Even if his heart has shot straight into his his throat, his reflexes are quick, relying on instinct to whip out his handgun and position himself bodily between Richard and their attacker -

And it's only then that Prompto recognizes who's dropped so delicately in front of them. Straightening, but only lowering his weapon a fraction: ]

Hey, I know you! Fake Scar Guy!

[ He's not sure if that's gonna be reassuring or...not... ]

[competing]

[ lance looks between richard and magnus, feeling some of his panic start to ebb, or at the very least his racing heart start to slow. the tension in the air, too, seems to stall and stutter somewhat. something doesn't exactly add up here...

he looks to richard, arching a brow. ]

Why don't you just pay him back the money you owe?

[ don't be that kind of bro, bro... ]

[tummyflowers]

[Oh good, Magnus was going along with it. This could still work. This kid might get the lesson he really needed! But Richard had to think fast. Why couldn't he pay back Magnus with this imaginary money?]

Oh, well, I spent it all! [On what!? What did kids like Lance even like? Oh! OH! He knew!] On Children's Card Games!

[Whew. Knowing Yusei came in handy after all!]

[tummyflowers]

[Dammit Magnus! Why didn't you wear a mask or helmet? It doesn't work if people recognize you!

But wow, he's pretty impressed at Prompto putting himself between him and Magnus. It was pretty impressive for such a small guy, even though Richard could still very clearly see Magnus over the top of Prompto's head. And... wait... fake!?]

His scar is fake!?

[tummyflowers]

Obviously checking to see if you're a good guard. Which... I hate to break it to you my friend, but I don't really think you're going to make it.

[Richard shakes his head, tsking admonishingly at Jon's embarrassing display. Seriously, what kind of guard DOESN'T attack anyone who takes them by surprise? That's the whole point!]

[personalwar]

[ Well, if anyone asks, 76 can say that his enhancements are good for surprising random people who've decided he needs to be "tested." What an upside.

He glances between the two of them, the red slit on his visor almost seeming to exude judgment. ]

Probably not the best way to test people. Someone else could react a whole lot worse than I did.

[ They could end up with a gun, sword, or other weapon brandished at them if they weren't careful. ]

[ruffboi]

No, no, no, Richard, come on. He's just got his own personal style. I respect it. Some would rush over and kill the attacker right away, and some have a more cautious approach like my man here.

[He drew his sword, after all. The fact that he doesn't want to kill anyone who attacks him is admirable, probably.]

You'll make a good guard, buddy. That's the Magnus guarantee. [Jon, be relieved, this tool thinks you'll do okay.]

[ruffboi]

It's too late for that now! I have to make an example of him. Or else no one will pay me back.

[But now he's kind of standing there awkwardly, since Lance isn't rushing to stop him or anything. Hmm. Oh. He knows a cool thing to do.]

You're got to the count of ten to get out of here, Lance. This is between men. Ten! Nine! Eight!

[ruffboi]

What?

[Stopping in the middle of his attack to touch his face. The scar, by the way, is still clearly in the process of healing up; it has stitches in it and looks kind of nasty.]

It's not fake, you liar! You saw Taako slice me open with your own eyes! [And here he was, impressed with Prompto for his quick reflexes, only for him to come at him with a low blow like this!]

[punshots]

[ Gun still in hand, Prompto throws up his hands in an almighty shrug, palms out. Is that really what they're worried about right now?! Magnus was about to attack them. That's pretty uncool! Right when he was about to explain his new boots, too... ]

Okay, maybe not-genuine is a better way to put it. Anyway - that's not the point! I'm gonna have to - [ wait for it ] axe you to put that down right now, dude.

[ He's a really good cop. ]

[tummyflowers]

[Richard's eyes light up. Not about the scar because, yeah, it didn't even look fake. But Prompto's word game was impressive. Maybe this is what being a guard was really about?]

Careful, Prompto! This ruffian is a cut above the rest!

[tummyflowers]

Oh, trust us, we've seen a lot of people react a whole lot worse than you did. All around embarrassing stuff. I think someone may have even peed himself at one point.

[It was honestly just nice to run into someone who followed all the rules and expectations right off the bat. And he didn't even use a dog as cover!]

[ruffboi]

Yeah, that's the thing. I'm kind of very strong.

[Probably not the time to be bragging about it, especially since he just got shoved against the wall by this old man.]

Don't get me wrong, you're strong too, but seeing as I could take pretty much any guard if I wanted to, I'm the perfect guy for this job.

[ruffboi]

[Now this is what he's talking about. Gripping the axe, excited to see whether he's able to deflect bullets in midair with it. That would probably work.]

If you're really gunning for me, then I guess I'll have to give you a chopping to.

[competing]

[ when magnus starts counting, lance's instincts start to kick in. and no, it's the "oh shoot this guy means serious business, i definitely gotta watch my back!" kind of instinct, but rather that "ohno teacher/mom/authority figure is counting down I'M GONNA GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE"

so he finally rises to his feet, slowly, hands out in a universally placating gesture. ]

Alright, dude, calm down... We should talk this out, you know? It's just money. You don't wanna go slicing people up over money. It'd make the Royal Guard look bad, you know? Also, I'd have to arrest you, and that'll be real awkward for our friendship.

[tummyflowers]

Lance, there's no talking out of this one! My very life is on the line here!

[And that's when Richard must employ his most quintessential of powers... the power of song! He stands up and leans up behind Lance, placing a hand on either shoulder. Somewhere, it almost seems like there's a musical beat starting to play. It's slow, a bit dark, and the perfect kind of atmosphere for a cryptic sing along.]

♫ Seven. Six. Five! I want to stay alive!
But this big brute, with his chiseled... glute?
will fight with haste, beat me into paste
unless you can punch him in the faaaace! ♫

[Richard looks to Magnus now, subconsciously transmitting his new power to allow one additional person sing along with him and harness the power of impromptu musicals!]

[ruffboi]

[A lot of emotions pass over Magnus' face while Richard starts singing. Surprise? Confusion? Even...delight? This isn't how he saw the guard training exercise going at all, but he's up for it. He's even already trying to think of the next verse in his head as Richard sings. Are there even any words that rhyme with axe? But somehow, when Richard nods at him, the words just come to him.

Magnus slowly creeps forward as he sings.]

♫ Five. Four. Three. Two.
No time for talk, now it's all up to you!
This count is winding down, to a bloody end.
Lance! Are you a guard? Are you even a friend?♫

[And now that he's approached, he's twirling his axe like it's a baton.]

This man...you must defend!

[personalwar]

[ It's the younger of the two who seems to understand 76's meaning with that warning, and so he focuses his attention more specifically on him for the moment.

This isn't a contest about who's the strongest, but he has to wonder. ]

How can you be so sure? That you could take each and every one.

[ That sort of arrogance is what gets you killed. ]

[song_of_ice]

[He's about to make an angry retort towards Richard, pointing out the man's inability to use a sword and how that factored into him being a guard, but Magnus interrupted.

Jon's left perplexed, feeling as if this is some sort of initiation or test and he had passed, at least in someone's estimation. But he isn't sure if it's something he should be proud of. This entire encounter was ridiculous.]

Is this the assignment you received? Pretend to attack guards during their patrol? [He looked at Richard.] What happens if you're caught off guard?

[chaoticlootral]

[ Taking a very dramatic bow, complete with removing his hat and blowing kisses to an adoring invisible audience that surrounds them, mouthing a few thank you, thank yous. ]

Cheating: no. Perfectly within the rules of, uh, whatever it is you're doing here. Jumping people. Winning the Oscar: yes. [ And turning to Richard in particular. ] I mean, you looked pretty swept away by my performance, right darling?

[tummyflowers]

[Hmm... that's a good point. He'd already seen Magnus get won over by a cute puppy, which maybe didn't make Magnus quite as infallible as he once thought. He looks to his brawny friend for confirmation.]

[tummyflowers]

Well, more or less. [It's a fairly liberal interpretation of his orders. So... basically he was doing what he was told.] And that wouldn't be a problem. I can't say I'm ever really on guard. I've always been a very open kind of person. I keep an open surprise attack policy with all my fellow guard and guard consultants.

[But he does relent on Jon, at least! Magnus makes some good points. And Jon did seem to know how to use a sword, which was a particular plus really.]