[ bucky's hold around him tightens and it ought to make thomas feel better. instead, he finds that the tension in his shoulders only creeps higher, chest tightening with unspoken fear. to the degree that bucky calms and grows more focused, thomas grows more fearful.
he swallows, fingers curling in the material of bucky's shirt, holding on.
he's scared —so so scared that bucky will leave him, that he will be alone again, that it will be his fault, that he will kill bucky. (that's not quite right, is it? that isn't his fear, but right now, it feels indistinguishable from the fear of being the last one standing yet again. he couldn't bear that. he couldn't bear to be the cause of it, either.)
he's scared and his control is crumbling, unable to withstand the onslaught of it. he makes a noise, something aborted and small, barely contained. ]
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he swallows, fingers curling in the material of bucky's shirt, holding on.
he's scared —so so scared that bucky will leave him, that he will be alone again, that it will be his fault, that he will kill bucky. (that's not quite right, is it? that isn't his fear, but right now, it feels indistinguishable from the fear of being the last one standing yet again. he couldn't bear that. he couldn't bear to be the cause of it, either.)
he's scared and his control is crumbling, unable to withstand the onslaught of it. he makes a noise, something aborted and small, barely contained. ]