[ For a moment, Bucky just lets himself enjoy the closeness. Save for their experience in the forest, he hasn't really touched anyone like this in ages. It feels like an open wound in his heart, like he's torn the stitches and it will never really heal now, but the time for keeping it patched over and hidden is gone. He doesn't think he can really go back to that, either, even if it feels so much safer. ]
I've wanted to do that for a while.
[ It's a quiet admission and one he only gives now because he's sure he'll never have the time to have to explain it. His second and third and fourth chances at life are up and he's facing down a lot of regrets here at the end, but he doesn't want this to be one of them. If it's time to go, he wants Thomas to know that he's been a true friend to Bucky in the last few months, but he's also been much more than that.
He's reminded Bucky how to feel things he'd thought long-forgotten, like desire and affection. Bucky figures even now, he's still a lost cause, too broken to really be worth all the trouble he knows he's bound to be, but Thomas had made him want it all, anyway, like maybe he could glue the worst cracks back together and build something worth loving out of what's left. ]
no subject
I've wanted to do that for a while.
[ It's a quiet admission and one he only gives now because he's sure he'll never have the time to have to explain it. His second and third and fourth chances at life are up and he's facing down a lot of regrets here at the end, but he doesn't want this to be one of them. If it's time to go, he wants Thomas to know that he's been a true friend to Bucky in the last few months, but he's also been much more than that.
He's reminded Bucky how to feel things he'd thought long-forgotten, like desire and affection. Bucky figures even now, he's still a lost cause, too broken to really be worth all the trouble he knows he's bound to be, but Thomas had made him want it all, anyway, like maybe he could glue the worst cracks back together and build something worth loving out of what's left. ]