[ padfoot barks again, and james lets it pull a laugh out of him, something light and easy and all together out of place considering what has happened so far. he still feels the weight of it pulling at him, but not nearly as bad. not nearly as much. padfoot barks, jumps up on him and locks at every possible spot of james that could be reached, and it was easy to fall into it. he laughs, pushes back, lets padfoot maneuver back into his space before he starts scratching at his sides.
he hears the whines, soft little sounds that james picks up on but can't quite decipher. something hurts when he hears them, something that reminds him of the ice, the way sirius had looked at him in that first moment, when he himself hadn't seen much more than a man, on cracking ice, and the need to help.
james hesitates a bit at the thought, which happens to line up just enough with padfoot backing away from him. watching him with that full, happy grin, shaking with the excitement of it, and then he sits. james, in turns, sits back on his legs, leaning his weight back to his calves and ankles, mimicking padfoot in his own way. and for a few moments, all they do is sit - padfoot watching james, excited and happy and trembling with the extent of it. and in that moment, james yearns for it. can feel the urge to change hovering right under his skin. it'd be easy, too easy, to shift into it and take off down the halls.
but he doesn't, sitting back and waiting for the moment that's about to come. waiting for sirius, from padfoot. james realizes, then, that he needs that as much as he needs anything else.
he lets out a breath, not quite a sigh but close enough, and he feels his chest cave in a bit with it. ]
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he hears the whines, soft little sounds that james picks up on but can't quite decipher. something hurts when he hears them, something that reminds him of the ice, the way sirius had looked at him in that first moment, when he himself hadn't seen much more than a man, on cracking ice, and the need to help.
james hesitates a bit at the thought, which happens to line up just enough with padfoot backing away from him. watching him with that full, happy grin, shaking with the excitement of it, and then he sits. james, in turns, sits back on his legs, leaning his weight back to his calves and ankles, mimicking padfoot in his own way. and for a few moments, all they do is sit - padfoot watching james, excited and happy and trembling with the extent of it. and in that moment, james yearns for it. can feel the urge to change hovering right under his skin. it'd be easy, too easy, to shift into it and take off down the halls.
but he doesn't, sitting back and waiting for the moment that's about to come. waiting for sirius, from padfoot. james realizes, then, that he needs that as much as he needs anything else.
he lets out a breath, not quite a sigh but close enough, and he feels his chest cave in a bit with it. ]
C'mon, mate.