[ for james, it wasn't all that long ago. months, maybe longer, standing out in front of the last place he'd remember, saying goodbye. they'd agreed together, who would hold the secret. agreed together that this was for the best. but even still, the moment had been harder than james was really prepared for. sirius was his other half, his best friend, his brother- they hadn't really, honestly, been apart since the day sirius showed up at his house before their sixth year, trunk in hand.
it'd been for the best, it'd been for his and lily and harry's sake, but james would be lying if it hadn't been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. and this, being the first time he's seen sirius since that moment (not counting the ice, the way his heart had seized when he fell-) and the rush of everything follows up behind it.
voldemort came to godric's hollow. on halloween. 1981.
lily's voice had been so heavy, so hollow, and if james' hands are shaking he's sure neither of them could tell with his tightly he grips the back of sirius' jacket, taking slow, steady breaths and ignoring how they hitch somewhere in the back of his throat. part of him wants to stay here, that maybe if he never lets go of sirius now, all of this will turn out to be some kind of insane dream, fueled by weird mixtures of potions and drinking and who knows what else. he wants this to be a nightmare, wants the silent understanding of what lily meant to be all in his head.
but he knows that's too much to ask. knows that's too much to want. he takes another breath, and it's a bit steadier this time, before he feels himself laughing too - not quite as loud as sirius' had been. he pats at sirius' back, slapping a hand against his shoulder, before gripping onto the fabric again. ]
Merlin it's good to see you. [ his words are soft when he finally gets them out, tucked somewhere in sirius' neck and shoulder. part of him starts to relax, like he's going to pull away, and then decides against it. he does pull up his face, setting his chin on sirius' shoulder rather than tucked into it. ] This is all such a fucking mess.
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it'd been for the best, it'd been for his and lily and harry's sake, but james would be lying if it hadn't been one of the hardest things he'd ever done. and this, being the first time he's seen sirius since that moment (not counting the ice, the way his heart had seized when he fell-) and the rush of everything follows up behind it.
voldemort came to godric's hollow. on halloween. 1981.
lily's voice had been so heavy, so hollow, and if james' hands are shaking he's sure neither of them could tell with his tightly he grips the back of sirius' jacket, taking slow, steady breaths and ignoring how they hitch somewhere in the back of his throat. part of him wants to stay here, that maybe if he never lets go of sirius now, all of this will turn out to be some kind of insane dream, fueled by weird mixtures of potions and drinking and who knows what else. he wants this to be a nightmare, wants the silent understanding of what lily meant to be all in his head.
but he knows that's too much to ask. knows that's too much to want. he takes another breath, and it's a bit steadier this time, before he feels himself laughing too - not quite as loud as sirius' had been. he pats at sirius' back, slapping a hand against his shoulder, before gripping onto the fabric again. ]
Merlin it's good to see you. [ his words are soft when he finally gets them out, tucked somewhere in sirius' neck and shoulder. part of him starts to relax, like he's going to pull away, and then decides against it. he does pull up his face, setting his chin on sirius' shoulder rather than tucked into it. ] This is all such a fucking mess.