It doesn't matter if you're okay with it. [ as bluntly as it's phrased, the gentleness to her tone is almost a contradiction. does she care if it causes distress to those that know her and — for reasons she can't discern for herself — care for her? undoubtedly, and the guilt that sits like a stone in her stomach affirms that much. she can't not care, but it won't keep her from her ideals. ] This isn't about what you want for me, Peter.

[ olympia isn't her home, and it might be distinctly lacking in anyone she's ever known — alec excluded — but it's becoming one. the absence of her mother, of luke and simon, of jace and izzy and magnus, is something she still feels potently, but that ache is only a reminder of what she should be doing — and it doesn't include watching the people around her being hurt. she's witnessed it far too many times to be comfortable holing up at home. ]

If you can't trust that I know what I'm doing, then you obviously don't trust me.

[ and that's another issue in its entirety, isn't it? ]