[ A mother whose only reassurance was that it would be "discrete," and that Lux need not worry about how her sudden disappearance would reflect on the family. And a brother who she knew would, were he to find out the truth, would not hesitate to make sure that she was dealt with as any other mage who posed any sort of threat would be. These were the people who she considered close; dear family who would never accept that part of her.
That was home.
She had come to terms with that... until living here, and finding that the world didn't always have to be so painfully black and white. But even then, she didn't expect to find that kind of understanding and belonging that she wanted.
So it's when he speaks that she suddenly looks up, wondering if she might have heard him wrong. Because it's one thing to say that something like that didn't bother her, but Allen, saying it like that...
It's like saying that he accepts that part of her, something she still can't quite believe anyone would be willing to do. That he does it without any sort of hesitation, like there's no reason why he might question it. That's the most overwhelming part of all, as if he somehow understood what it's like for others to hate what is so much a part of who he was. And not only that—
But to believe that, even if the rest of the world may hate or spurn you, there will be someone who will accept you when no one else will, and to tell her that in such a quiet reassuring way, Allen that's... ]
...
[ He might not be able to see her reaction, but he'll be able to feel the way her fingers squeeze against his, soft porcelain contrasted between wine red. And she does have to take a breath, her head lowering again as she squeezes her eyes shut. She can't look at him right now; it's too much.
Saying it like that, it's like he's already accepted that part of her that so many others hated without ever knowing. And that's too much.
Is that what home really was? A place where, no matter what happened, she could be herself? That she would still be accepted despite that? Is that something she's allowed to have? She hasn't done anything to deserve anything like that, but...
Why does she get the feeling he might understand that fear and reluctance far better than anyone she's ever known? ]
[1/2]
That was home.
She had come to terms with that... until living here, and finding that the world didn't always have to be so painfully black and white. But even then, she didn't expect to find that kind of understanding and belonging that she wanted.
So it's when he speaks that she suddenly looks up, wondering if she might have heard him wrong. Because it's one thing to say that something like that didn't bother her, but Allen, saying it like that...
It's like saying that he accepts that part of her, something she still can't quite believe anyone would be willing to do. That he does it without any sort of hesitation, like there's no reason why he might question it. That's the most overwhelming part of all, as if he somehow understood what it's like for others to hate what is so much a part of who he was. And not only that—
But to believe that, even if the rest of the world may hate or spurn you, there will be someone who will accept you when no one else will, and to tell her that in such a quiet reassuring way, Allen that's... ]
...
[ He might not be able to see her reaction, but he'll be able to feel the way her fingers squeeze against his, soft porcelain contrasted between wine red. And she does have to take a breath, her head lowering again as she squeezes her eyes shut. She can't look at him right now; it's too much.
Saying it like that, it's like he's already accepted that part of her that so many others hated without ever knowing. And that's too much.
Is that what home really was? A place where, no matter what happened, she could be herself? That she would still be accepted despite that? Is that something she's allowed to have? She hasn't done anything to deserve anything like that, but...
Why does she get the feeling he might understand that fear and reluctance far better than anyone she's ever known? ]
Allen—