Of course I'm earnest. I'm married, and I have to use all my guile to stay that way.

[ He thinks for a minute. What kind of question is that? ]

I found it on the side of the road and picked it up.

[ It's obvious sarcasm. Though it's not because he's being evasive, necessarily, it's more because the question is strange, and not easy for him to immediately answer, and he has a terrible relfex.]