KRIEG (tHE pSYcHO) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fuelthefire) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nysalogs2018-02-08 08:39 pm
fuelthefire) wrote in nysalogs2018-02-08 08:39 pm
OPEN: Questing is more fun with friends!
Who: Krieg (fuelthefire) & YOU
What: Mercenary work
When: All February long
Where: Olympia-ish; keeping it as vague as possible for maximum participation potential
Warning(s): It's Krieg, so unsettling/violent dialogue and also sometimes just plain ol' violence
The Premise: Your character has either intentionally joined Krieg on his various mercenary quests for the various off-screen NPCs I have made up OR they're in the general vicinity of Krieg performing his various mercenary quests and are now witnessing his questing. Getting characters to formally meet ICly is kind of a chore. Dumping them into a thread together with all the introductions and setup already handwaved is way more fun!
I.) A diamond in the rough
OR A FLOWER, SURROUNDED BY SHRAPNEL AND STUFF
II.) Put out the fire in my belly
I FEEL A DEEP, DARK WARMTH!
III.) The Witch's Brew
IT'S A HEALTHY SOUP FOR GROWING BOYS
fuelthefire) & YOUWhat: Mercenary work
When: All February long
Where: Olympia-ish; keeping it as vague as possible for maximum participation potential
Warning(s): It's Krieg, so unsettling/violent dialogue and also sometimes just plain ol' violence
The Premise: Your character has either intentionally joined Krieg on his various mercenary quests for the various off-screen NPCs I have made up OR they're in the general vicinity of Krieg performing his various mercenary quests and are now witnessing his questing. Getting characters to formally meet ICly is kind of a chore. Dumping them into a thread together with all the introductions and setup already handwaved is way more fun!
I.) A diamond in the rough
OR A FLOWER, SURROUNDED BY SHRAPNEL AND STUFF
He's done flower picking fetch-quests before. That's not the weird part of this particular scenario. The weird part is, no one's asked him to also find nudie mags.
Which is probably good, because unlike on Pandora, there seems to be a dearth of nudie mags on this world. Not that Krieg cares. He's not particularly interested in looking at naked bodies. But it would be difficult to complete a fetch quest for an item that didn't exist.
Anyway, the sun is shining, the sky is clear, there's a gentle breeze, and there's a massive, shirtless man wading through a waist-high field of grass, gathering flowers with his big, clumsy hands. Perhaps you've teamed up with him to assist in this very important mission. Perhaps you're an innocent and/or confused bystander. In either instance, if you're close enough to him, you might hear him beginning to mutter:
"Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now...Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now? Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now??" Each repetition of the phrase is a little louder and a little more forceful than the one before.
Look, just because he's good at fetch quests doesn't mean he enjoys them.
Which is probably good, because unlike on Pandora, there seems to be a dearth of nudie mags on this world. Not that Krieg cares. He's not particularly interested in looking at naked bodies. But it would be difficult to complete a fetch quest for an item that didn't exist.
Anyway, the sun is shining, the sky is clear, there's a gentle breeze, and there's a massive, shirtless man wading through a waist-high field of grass, gathering flowers with his big, clumsy hands. Perhaps you've teamed up with him to assist in this very important mission. Perhaps you're an innocent and/or confused bystander. In either instance, if you're close enough to him, you might hear him beginning to mutter:
"Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now...Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now? Why aren't my fingers in someone's eye sockets right now??" Each repetition of the phrase is a little louder and a little more forceful than the one before.
Look, just because he's good at fetch quests doesn't mean he enjoys them.
II.) Put out the fire in my belly
I FEEL A DEEP, DARK WARMTH!
Krieg's an excellent baby dragon wrangler - he did bicep curls with a bunch of baby dragons all at once at the dragon cafe that one time. So tracking down this fancy rich lady's missing pet dragon and returning it to her sounds like a total breeze.
The first part was easy, anyway.
Finding the dragon hadn't been particularly challenging. It was a slovenly creature, and overweight, and dolled up in a big, pink neck bow and soft pink nail polish. A soft boy, its owner had insisted. I'm positive he's scared out of his wits! Please find him as quickly as you can!
The dragon is, indeed, a soft boy, judging by the rolls of fat crowding its frame. But several days of freedom have inspired a certain gleam in its eye. Its neck ribbon is ragged and torn, and its nail polish chipped. It's seen some shit, and gotten a taste for freedom, and it's a lot faster and more nimble than any creature with such short legs and such a rotund belly has any right to be.
Krieg has it cornered, in a manner of speaking, up a tall, old tree that resembles an oak. It didn't climb very high - even with its surprising agility, it's still a fatass, and gravity is not its friend. It's just out of Krieg's impressive reach, though, stretched out toward the end of a long, thick branch that is dipping more than a little bit under its weight.
It's a toss-up between climbing up after the stupid fat thing or throwing his axe at it until he knocks it out of the tree.
...He probably shouldn't throw his axe at it, because it's someone's beloved pet, and he probably won't get paid if it gets injured or dies. But it's still an option, and one he is visibly considering: hefting his axe in his hand, looking thoughtfully at it, then up at the tree'd dragon, then back to his axe...Hopefully someone can talk him out of it.
The first part was easy, anyway.
Finding the dragon hadn't been particularly challenging. It was a slovenly creature, and overweight, and dolled up in a big, pink neck bow and soft pink nail polish. A soft boy, its owner had insisted. I'm positive he's scared out of his wits! Please find him as quickly as you can!
The dragon is, indeed, a soft boy, judging by the rolls of fat crowding its frame. But several days of freedom have inspired a certain gleam in its eye. Its neck ribbon is ragged and torn, and its nail polish chipped. It's seen some shit, and gotten a taste for freedom, and it's a lot faster and more nimble than any creature with such short legs and such a rotund belly has any right to be.
Krieg has it cornered, in a manner of speaking, up a tall, old tree that resembles an oak. It didn't climb very high - even with its surprising agility, it's still a fatass, and gravity is not its friend. It's just out of Krieg's impressive reach, though, stretched out toward the end of a long, thick branch that is dipping more than a little bit under its weight.
It's a toss-up between climbing up after the stupid fat thing or throwing his axe at it until he knocks it out of the tree.
...He probably shouldn't throw his axe at it, because it's someone's beloved pet, and he probably won't get paid if it gets injured or dies. But it's still an option, and one he is visibly considering: hefting his axe in his hand, looking thoughtfully at it, then up at the tree'd dragon, then back to his axe...Hopefully someone can talk him out of it.
III.) The Witch's Brew
IT'S A HEALTHY SOUP FOR GROWING BOYS
Someone's granny is making a stew, and has promised a fine reward and a delicious meal to anyone who can acquire the rare and necessary ingredients. As mentioned previously, Krieg is aces at fetch quests, and he also likes delicious meals, so he's all over this particular mission.
A.) The Wild Beast
The Wild Beast is something like a boar, and Krieg is absolutely, 100% facing off against the thing with his fists, his fire breath, and his trusty axe. Whether or not he has competent backup is a complete non-issue for him. Whether or not the beast viciously gores him is also a non-issue. It's barely even a fight unless somebody loses a kidney. Hopefully the beast will be the one losing a kidney, but Krieg won't be a sore loser if it's his kidney that gets skewered. He's got two, after all.
There's a solid thunk followed by a blood-curdling, feral scream. Krieg has wedged his axe in to the creature's ribs, and in its rage at being so injured the beast is twisting and turning in an attempt to simultaneously gore Krieg with its enormous tusks and trample him under its sharp hooves. Krieg twists away and avoids injury for the moment with a laugh, although he does sadly leave his axe where it is - buried deep in the creature's side.
"I'M GONNA SWALLOW YOUR THROAT, BADASS!"
And get his axe back. It's his favorite axe.
B.) Cliff Gull Eggs
The cliff faces along the South Coast are where the appropriately named Cliff Gulls make their nests. The rocks are sheer and not easy to climb, but the reward for the effort is apparently worth it.
...It had better be worth it, because not only is the climb treacherous and difficult, but also involves fending off dive-bombing seagulls.
"I ordered a lead salad!" Krieg's not exactly angry at being persistently dive-bombed as he clings to the cliff face and raids nests, but he is kind of annoyed. The gulls are yelling at him, and he's yelling right back.
C.) Cave Mushrooms
There's a special kind of mushroom that only grows in the special blend of cold, damp dark provided by an ocean-facing cave. It's a must-have for Granny's Secret Stew. The caves are narrow and winding, but passable. Krieg is walking even more hunched than he usually does, partially because of the low ceiling, and partially because the cave is freaking cold. Cold doesn't normally bother him all that much, but for some reason this particular cold is biting.
It's necessary to trek deep into the cave's recesses, because it's a popular mushroom-picking spot and all the mushrooms closer to the entrance have been harvested already. It'd probably be a boring and uneventful trek, if you weren't traveling with a Pandoran Psycho, whose response to the lack of interesting stimuli as the cave gets deeper and darker is to mutter,
"The voices said empty, hollow, and thud. The voices said empty, hollow, and thud! The voices said empty, hollow, and thud..."
Yeah, that's absolutely not creepy or ominous. Maybe it's time to distract him?
no subject
[There are many kinds of nuts, after all.
Krieg, for instance, is a beautiful, shining example of the former.
The guy he warned Rocket about and who he is now poorly imitating is a filthy stinking example of the latter.]
no subject
...The second one. Almost perfectly, actually. Man, I'm suddenly glad I don't have a dad I know about.
no subject
If I had one, I don't remember! Dads are overrated. Friends are better.
[The last of the fire seems to be dying out on Krieg's kill, so he kneels down to grab one of its forelegs, and yanks and hauls the creature up onto his shoulders with quite a few grunts and groans and some effort. Once he's got the thing positioned, though, he stands back up with much less trouble, and settles his kill comfortably over his broad shoulders.
And then, to Rocket, more or less apropos of nothing:]
Where do you live, Little Dude?
no subject
Back towards those crappy starter houses. I'm still tryin' to get up the silver to move out.
[What he doesn't say is he's pinching silver that he isn't using to drink or gamble to buy something nice. If he's gonna be stuck in one place, he's gonna be doing it in style.]
no subject
...Well. No one important, anyway.]
I just crash with the shotgun ninja. He has a couch that isn't even broken!
[Is anyone surprised at how low Krieg's standards for comfort are? Anyone? Bueller?
Kill claimed, it's time to start heading back to said bachelor pad. With a small detour by Granny's, of course, to drop off said kill and get that sweet, sweet payment. He just walks off like he either assumes Rocket's going to join him, or stay out here. Because that's totally normal, right?]
no subject
[And he follows, because he is That Interested.]
no subject
[Krieg really doesn't have much room to talk; he'll occasionally quote classic literature, although it's anyone's guess as to whether or not he's aware he's doing it. Zer0 prefers to reference pop culture that's usually weirdly specific to an ancient east-asian country on Earth.]
You wanna meet him?
[
Yo, Zer0, this cute little raccoon followed him home, can Krieg keep him?]no subject
He bursts out laughing.] Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You're talkin' about Zer0, right? He's your buddy? Man, no wonder Rhys always said I'd fit in on that planet. It's full of my kind of lunatics.
no subject
[Oh, the fuzzy dude knows Rhys, too? Small world.]
I dunno how Noodles lived on Pandora without snapping himself in half or getting snapped in half. He's probably better off here.
[Probably. Some of the locals are pretty shifty, and the whole...political climate...thing this planet has going is really shitty.]
no subject
[He has heard many, many things. Enough to get a decent idea of the climate there. It's kinda like Sakaar, only with less gladiator slavery.
Who would have thought the true bonding experience would be dunking on Rhys.]
no subject
[Look, dunking on Rhys is the natural instinct of literally any intelligent being who's made his acquaintance for more than five minutes. Clearly it's a great way to bond!]
Better here than Pandora! Even the Gun Man prefers vending machines!
[That is, selling via vending machines. Marcus may have a physical shopfront, but it is very notably in Sanctuary, which is a slightly safer place to do business than pretty much all of the rest of Pandora.]
But headshots drop the best loot.
no subject
Dude. Dude. They put guns in vending machines there?!
[VENDING MACHINES ARE THE EASIEST THING TO STEAL FROM. HOW DO YOU THINK HE FED HIMSELF BEFORE HE LEARNED ALL OF HIS SKILLS.]