nysalogs | (closed) i hear it calling down in my soul

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(closed) i hear it calling down in my soul

Who: Elliot Nighray (

yelliot) & Gilbert Nightray (

rechained)
What: Elliot's decided it's a good idea not to answer his phone when it's his extremely codependent, separation anxiety-prone brother calling. It's not.
When: Now...ish... After Leo departs.
Where: Elliot's place
Warning(s): idk secondhand embarrassment probably.

It takes a while for Gilbert to come up with a plan, but once he figures it out it doesn't take long to pull off. Once it's become clear that Elliot isn't going to answer his messages, he spends a few hours just standing there in the street, smoking irritably, vaguely pondering just how hard it would be to scale up the wall of Elliot's building.

But then he spots the next door neighbor of Elliot's, an elderly lady it turns out, shuffling home with her arms full of groceries and he springs into action. After holding the door open with her and offering to help her inside, he explains very earnestly why he's been standing out on the street for hours. His brother, you see, his dear little brother hasn't answered his calls in over a day and he's terrified Elliot's lying hurt somewhere inside, unable to reach his phone. If he could just pop onto her balcony and climb over to check on his brother, it'd help them both out immensely.

A few minutes later finds Gilbert throwing Elliot's balcony door open, storming in a perfect maelstrom of concern and fury.

"Elliot! Just what do you think you're doing?? You can't just not answer me when I call! Just because the Duke isn't here doesn't mean—"

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"Can you SHUT UP?!"

Looks like Gilbert's little breaking and entering plan isn't going too well. Sure, he's managed to make it inside Elliot's little residence, but that doesn't mean that his hot-tempered brother is happy to see him. Elliot isn't happy at all, but it's not just because Gilbert's stormed into his place. No, it's because Leo's gone somehow, back to sleep in those weird pods up in space. At first he didn't believe it, having thought he'd gone missing, but no. He was back up there (even if he couldn't confirm it) or so he had to believe he was.

Needless to say, he's pretty miserable.

He's had little motivation to leave his room, opting to cuddle Nessy, the cat knowing instinctively that her owner was upset. Right now though she's under Elliot's bed, hiding from the commotion.

"What do you think YOU'RE doing?! Huh?!"

"Don't turn this on me!!" Gilbert shouts right back, actively rolling up his sleeves in anticipation of the throttling he's prepared to give Elliot for blowing him off for the last day and a half. "I was worried! You could've been lying in here in a pool of your own blood for all I knew!"

Striding into the apartment to meet Elliot at the threshold of his bedroom, Gilbert pauses just long enough to take in the dark, silent surroundings, the place empty save for the two of them. Something itches at the back of his mind, but Gilbert turns his attention away for the moment in favor of Elliot.

"Would it have killed you to at least tell me you were okay?? Since when do you ignore your own family??"

"Yeah well I'm NOT, am I?!"

Not the best comeback, but hey it's something. Elliot's off his bed now, closing the few feet between them as he glares up at Gilbert.

"Since when? Maybe since that family decides to LEAVE ME! First it was YOU now it's Leo...I'm tired of it! I'm DONE with people leaving me!"

"—what?"

That seems to take the air out of Gilbert's sails, eyes widening a fraction as his shoulders pull back, blinking at Elliot in disbelief. He looks around their place again, expression stricken when his gaze settles back on Elliot.

"No— ...how? When did it happen? Why didn't you tell me...?!"

"Because I don't feel like talking or seeing anyone, okay?!"

Ah, the stages of grief. Clearly Elliot's stuck on anger and has been for quite some time.

"A few days ago...he's back in space in whatever those pods are. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He can nap for as long as he wants I don't give a damn."

Yes he does.

Defensive as Elliot is, Gilbert is one of the few people around who knows that exact feeling. Of someone who means the world to you being there one second and gone the next. Twice, now. Twice, he's opened his eyes in a world without Oz in it.

Bringing up a hand to rub at his temples, he sets the entire matter with Leo for the moment because he knows it's too big to tackle all at once. It's everywhere, in everything. They'll just have to take this one day, one hour at a time until it's all a little less raw, but they'll get through it. If Gil can survive it, anyone can. Even Elliot. Especially Elliot.

Sighing, he places a hand under Elliot's chin and lifts his face up to inspect him, frowning in concern.

"When was the last time you ate? Had anything to drink? If I look in your pantry, am I going to find anything but condiments?"

Gilbert's hand gets a little swat as he takes a step back, only to plop down on the edge of his mattress. Just when was the last time he'd eaten? It's a valid question. Still though, his brother's nagging is...annoying at best.

"I don't know. I drank something earlier...and there are eggs in the fridge."

Not much else though.

Gilbert sighs.

"Key," he states flatly, holding out his hand. "Now. I'll be back."

As much as he wants to protest...he'd rather be alone again. If Gilbert wants a key then he can have a bloody key.

"Here."

He...more or less slaps the spare against his palm. There you go. You got what you wanted.

"Don't... go anywhere," Gilbert sighs, not particularly finding Elliot to be a flight risk but feeling the need to say it aloud either way. He pockets the key, straightens his coat, and turns right around to leave.

He's gone perhaps half an hour, forty minutes, returning with several bags of groceries. After checking to make sure Elliot is still, in fact, in his room, Gilbert lets the younger Nightray sulk to his heart's content and gets to cooking instead.

Soon the apartment fills with the smell of sauteed vegetables and meat, of potatoes in the oven and when Gilbert comes to fetch Elliot for dinner there's a familiar pattern of flour dusted over the apron he appears to have scrounged up from somewhere.

"C'mon, dinner's on the table. If you eat all your vegetables, there's pie."

Like they're kids again, Elliot no taller than Gilbert's hip, Gilbert playing at being the adult at the ripe old age of thirteen.

He feels like he's gone back in time, what with the smell of a home cooked meal and being beckoned to eat with the promise of dessert. Not having it in him to protest or grumble, Elliot peels himself away from his bed and shuffles into the little kitchen. Without a word he sits down at the place that's been set for him, admittedly hungry now that there's food in front of him. It'd be a lie to say he's not a little excited to eat what Gilbert's made. He hasn't exactly eaten well since he's been living here.

"...What kind of pie?"

"What else?" Gilbert sighs, reaching over to ruffle Elliot's hair before turning back to check on said pie. His voice calls out from the kitchen, the smell of buttery crust and blueberries wafting out as he cracks the oven to peek in.

"Your favorite."

If he hadn't already worn himself out he'd smack Gilbert for ruffling his hair. Instead he opts to shove some veggies down his throat, chewing with a grunt. Blueberry pie then. That's the answer.

"You're being awful nice."

"The hell is that suppose to mean?" Gilbert grumbles as he reappears from the kitchen, taking a seat next to Elliot with his own plate of food.

"I know I wasn't around as much after Oz turned back up, but by then you were away at school. You really gonna hold that against me?"

In all honesty...Elliot's not exactly in the mood to have a discussion like this, but when would he ever be? Was he really going to still hold it against Gilbert? Probably not...not now when nothing really seemed to matter much.

Except for the pie he'd been promised, that is.

"...No."

"Good. Because we're family," comes Gil's answer as he spears a potato wedge with his fork. He glances over at Elliot shoveling vegetables into his mouth and gives a quite smile.

"Hey, don't just eat the vegetables. Finish your plate. You're still growing," he reminds, then pauses long enough to give Elliot a slow once-over.

"...probably," he adds, then pops that potato wedge into his mouth to hide the teasing in his smile.

Oh now Gilbert seems to be a family man? Not that...Elliot's complaining. (He's always complaining but, y'know-) Honestly, he's been at a loss as to what to do with himself without Leo here. Having Gilbert helps. Really, it does.

Even if he doesn't seem to know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Excuse me?" Stab. Stab. Carrot in mouth. "Of course I'm still growing! I'm only sixteen!"

"Isn't that around when Vincent stopped growing...?" Gilbert ponders aloud. It isn't, but he doesn't think Elliot will remember exactly, and riling Elliot up seems the best way to get him back to his normal self. Maybe once he's gotten some yelling good and out of his system, he'll feel like talking about what's happened.

"No it wasn't! Vincent was growing for awhile!"

Ah. Elliot and his height. He's definitely small compared to the rest of his siblings...but that's because he hasn't fully grown yet! He still has a lot of growing to do!

"Hm, are you sure?" Gilbert muses, chewing thoughtfully. Then he laughs, nodding at Elliot's plate. "Guess you'd better keep eating, then. You'll never live it down with the rest of the family if you stunt your growth."

'The' family, not 'our' family, but while Gilbert finds the fact of Elliot being his brother, of that feeling being reciprocal, he knows the same isn't true for the rest of the Nightrays. But that's just fine with him.

Honestly, Elliot can't hold that against Gilbert or Vincent. He knows well enough just how cruel his siblings had been toward their adoptive brothers. Even so, Elliot could never bring himself to hate them and once he'd gotten to know Gilbert and Vincent...he couldn't leave them alone.

"Nothing about be is going to be stunted, Gilbert!"

"Even Oz will get taller than you before long if you keep starving yourself," Gil points out, already planning on forcing Elliot to take seconds. "Eventually. If he ever wakes up."

Gil scoots some food around his plate, then sighs and has another bite.

"...he'd probably wake up tomorrow if he knew getting taller than you was on the line."

"Yeah well he's not getting taller than me!"

Ah, yes. Elliot's weakness. Being compared to the Vessalius boy. "I'm not starving myself...I just didn't have an appetite." Even now he's honestly forcing himself.

"He'll wake up, don't be stupid. He's going to wake up and be annoying as ever."

"You think...?" Gilbert gives a quiet laugh, finding the food has suddenly gone to ash in his mouth as he takes another bite. But this is what adulthood is, Elliot. Forcing yourself to do stuff you don't want to do in hopes you survive to someday do one or two things that you do.

"It's starting to feel like all I do is wait for him. Did you know I've been waiting for him longer than I actually knew him...? It seems so ridiculous, the more I think about it."

Does Elliot think Oz will wake up? He has no reason not to believe it. After all, Gilbert had woken up. Why would Oz be any different?

The usually loud Nightray lets silence settle between them for a moment. He hadn't actually known that, if only because Gilbert hadn't really talked much about it.

"It is kind of ridiculous, but at least you realize that." Probably not helpful. Hm. Let him rephrase that. "You're loyal though Gilbert, I'll give you that."

"He gave me a reason to exist when I didn't have one," Gilbert mumbles, blinking in surprise at himself for confessing this to Elliot. They'd never spoken like this, not once in all the years they'd lived together in Nightray Manor.

"It's just normal, isn't it...? To feel loyal to someone like that."

"Yeah...I get it."

Now more than ever he can understand where Gilbert's coming from. After all, he felt things someone in his position shouldn't for their valet. If anything, his budding relationship with Leo that had been cut short was far more scandalous than Gilbert being Oz's servant.

Why did life have to be so complicated?

This time Gilbert jerks up slightly in surprise, bumping his plate with one hand and nearly knocking it over.

Elliot... understood?

He stares a moment, then looks around Elliot's empty place again, the dark corners and the quiet momentary pared back by the smell of food and Gilbert's company.

"Did something happen with Leo?"

...to Leo?

"He's not here anymore."

It comes out of him after a moment, when he's decided to not pick at what's on his plate anymore. It isn't something he likes to put into words, and by doing so it makes the emptiness of not having Leo by his side all the more real.

"They put him back to sleep."

Gilbert knows that happens sometimes. He's heard about it happening, read the reasons why. The people behind all of this, the ones in charge, they genuinely seem to only have their best interests at heart, but that doesn't make it any easier to stare at their loved ones trapped behind glass, sleeping, no indication of when or even when they'll wake. And even when they do wake, they could go back to sleep at any time. Like this, like now.

Life has always been a tenuous thing for Gilbert, never certain, filled with politics and loss and forces beyond his control. But not for Elliot, and it shouldn't be. Elliot shouldn't have to face this, least of all on his own. Gilbert swallows, shutting his eyes briefly. Then he reaches out and places a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He knows it's a worthless phrase, it doesn't do anything, doesn't begin to set this right. But he says it anyway, giving Elliot's shoulder a squeeze. "He'll be back, though. As soon as he's able, he'll be back. After all, we both know Leo doesn't trust you to get by on your own."

It might be a worthless phrase, but at least he knows Gilbert means it. The hand on his shoulder is more comforting than he'd thought it'd be, but then again hasn't Gilbert always been a comfort? When they were little Elliot would fight to wriggle his way into his lap, and when Vanessa or Ernest were being particularly unfair (in Elliot's eyes) Gilbert would listen to Elliot complain about the injustices being shown to him. He's always liked Gilbert, despite the more recent quarrel he's had with him. Now though, like he'd said before, what happened then doesn't matter. Not here.

"Yeah. He'll wake up and just make fun of me...and I'll punch him for it."

There's a long pause before Gilbert smiles, pushing himself up from his seat to pull Elliot into a one-armed hug.

"As if. I'm pretty sure he's the one who does all the punching."

Ah...a hug. Feels nice, even if he's too tsun to admit it. He'll just...allow it.

"He doesn't look it...but he's way louder and violent than I could ever be."

"You think people don't know you're all bark?" Gilbert murmurs, laughing quietly as he's still holding Elliot. Then he kisses the top of Elliot's head, quickly, before releasing him.

"Finish your food. I'm gonna check on the pie. You'll want a slice while it's still warm."

What the fuck Gilbert? Don't call him out on his shit?? Embarrassment is clearly evident, not only from the call out but from the quick affectionate kiss to his head. This is too much. He's going to die.

"I-I'm not all bark! Take that back! I'll punch you Gilbert!"

But the promise of pie keeps him seated. He does...want a warm slice. Fuck.

"Mmhm," comes Gilbert's unconcerned, noncommittal answer as he wanders into the kitchen to check on the pie as promised. It's getting there. He leans against the counter to wait for it.

"Guess I better fill in for Leo until he gets back, huh?" It's just a stray thought off the top of his head, but once it's spoken he realizes it makes more and more sense the more he thinks about it. Elliot clearly needs someone to look after him, and here Gilbert is without a single charge to his name. He's about as used to that as Elliot is used to being on his own, without a mess of older siblings and a personal servant and a household full of butlers and maids to look after him.

"What, you're going to be my servant?" There's a raised eyebrow at that, Elliot's attention more on the pie that Gilbert seems to be checking out in the oven. Wait what?

Had he really said what he thinks he had?

"You're my older brother, don't you think that's kind of weird?"

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(closed) i hear it calling down in my soul

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did you just use tsun in a tag

of course i did

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