nysalogs | (closed) i want to break free

[ If Miles were any taller, that might have hit him in the face. Good thing he's so short. ]

Which I can't see how you're packing, given how many of my things you're throwing out.

I'm throwing out what's useless and going from there. I might be here awhile, though, as it seems to be worse than I thought...

[Says a man clad in leather on a hot afternoon.]

Surely you must have boots, somewhere... I'm taking you shopping, after this journey.

[ Yeah, uh. He peeks his head around the door frame just to judge Dorian a little. ]

They're under the bed.

[ Very fine boots, tailored to Miles' tiny feet - perfect for winter, alarmingly hot in summer. ]

[Dorian slowly looks up and over, glowering like it's Miles' fault for never anticipating he'd have to prepare for him coming into his room. Then he crouches to get those tiny tiny boots.]

You're going to be an absolute disaster.

Half the point of camping, or so I'm told.

When is the last time you've been outside for longer than ten minutes?

Immediately prior to arriving here, thank you. In sub zero temperatures.

[ He gestures to the winter boots. And the thick jacket in his closet. ]

[Dorian sits there for a moment, then he musters up all a pleasant smile despite his voice dripping with sarcasm.]

You lead a hard life, Miles Vorkosigan. Go find a bag.

[ Sigh. Miles drops the backpack on the floor to do just that. ]

I am not as spoiled as you think I am. Honestly.

[ Leaning against the door, suddenly, a far-too-casual smile on his face, is Byerly - who, upon seeing Dorian, stops smiling, huffs a sigh, and tucks his stunner back into the shoulder-holster concealed under his jacket. ]

Dorian, if you're going to come and invade my liege-lord's quarters, give me a heads-up so I don't shoot you, hm?

[ And then, squinting, he asks Miles - ]

Sire, what's going on? If you're in need of some wardrobe update, there are better people to look to than him.

You can use my name, Byerly, I'm right behind you.

[Currently peering over Byerly's shoulder, in half-visible tailored pants and a dark teal cashmere sweater.]

Why's everyone in Miles's room? Dorian? Did you take a wrong turn?

Well, I'm so glad you're all overjoyed to see me. It's truly the belated welcome party I imagined.

[Huffing with indigence, Dorian quickly removes himself from sitting on the floor. Don't mind him, he's going to continue laying out an outfit over the bed.]

As much as I'd rather be elsewhere, no. Miles, are you going to admit your folly, or should I?

[ Miles snorts a bit at the cavalcade of people suddenly appearing in his room. Thanks for the rescue there, Byerly. ]

No need for the stunner. We're all friends here.

[ He comes back out of his closet, a small knapsack in hand. ]

Dorian and I are going camping.

Camping.

[ Byerly repeats that with his brow furrowed in sheer skepticism. ]

Is that a...euphemism for something, sire?

[ God, Byerly. Nevermind Miles drew exactly the same conclusion when Dorian asked him. He rolls his eyes. ]

Literal camping, as Dorian keeps reminding me.

[ Murmuring: ]

Not a euphemism. That's so much worse.

[Camping. Something Prior's frankly surprised anyone in this room would do by choice.]

As in Boy Scouts, or one of those bare chested, drum beating, bonding type affairs? If it's the latter, I seem to have misplaced the invitation.

[Children, please. Dorian never he'd be exasperated with the three of them at once, and yet.]

It is my job to record the properties of the local wildlife. I am taking Miles along. If anyone is going to be bare chested, it's going to be... well, a bear.

[ This is your fault, Dorian. Honestly. ]

Did you want to come along, Prior?

[ Hold on. The humor goes out of him. ]

Are you planning to expose the Emperor to bears?

[Expose Miles to bears. Good grief. Prior edges around Byerly, looking wry.]

Unless Dorian's planning to gain a few pounds and stop waxing that seems doubtful. The properties of bears seem pretty known, to me. I'm sure he's not planning to dip Miles in honey and leave him out as bait.

[A moment.]

Right?

Maker's breath — of course I'm not.

[Dorian gives up in his task of creating a suitable outfit, putting his hands on his hips.]

We will be a reasonable distance away from any bears, anything with too many teeth, anything that might make anyone piss themselves. But I'm starting to get the impression that might be everything.

[ Prior you're the worst. Miles just gives him a look at that. Honey, really? ]

Were you planning on protecting me from bears, Byerly? I'm touched.

As would Illyan or Allegre before me, sire.

[ He sweeps a hand through his hair, says: ]

I'll be coming along.

I doubt Illyan or Allegre fought off any bears.

[ But he brightens a bit anyway. The more the merrier, right? ]

Oh, yes, let's all invite ourselves and take another hour to crack on, shall we?

[Because he's fairly certain none of you know how to prepare for it. Dorian sighs, looking between the three before his resolve just caves in.]

I don't have any drums to beat. And I only have two tents. I am not going back to the market, so we're all going to have to cope with that being our bonding method.

Well I'm not being left here alone while everyone else is off to camp. Especially when I'm the only one who qualifies for both senses of the term.

[Camping, though. Two tents isn't the problem, lack of a mattress may be. He curls fingers under his chin, considering Dorian, then Byerly.]

Since we're traveling light, maybe one of you could carry a chair?

Well, perhaps if it's sufficiently miserable, it will disabuse the lot of you of the idea that camping is something that should ever be done under any circumstances, ever.

[ A heavy sigh. Then, to Prior: ]

I can certainly carry a chair. But are you quite certain that coming along is the best idea?

Oh of course it isn't. I could think of thirty better ideas in the next five minutes, and none of them would involve peeing behind a bush, but I'm tired of sitting around here, doing nothing. And if I'm going to have a bad idea I may as well have it in good company.

[He presses a kiss to Byerly's cheek before invading the room proper.]

I'll try not to pick out anything too heavily upholstered. Now, Miles, did you pack waterproofs? There's nothing worse than sleeping in a wet spot.

I've no idea if I have anything waterproof. A tarp, maybe?

[ Probably. One can hope. He shakes his head. ]

Byerly, you're too dramatic. This will be fun.

One ought never trust the word fun when it comes from a Vorkosigan.

[ Him? Dramatic? Never. ]

One ought never trust the word fun from any Vor, I think.

[Dorian crosses his arms, likely reevaluating how long this is going to take with all the people that would get voted off the island first on Survivor. He takes a deep breath.]

Three days. Pack for three days.

Vorkosigans can be fun. We're not serious or violent all the time.

[ He blinks, though, at Dorian's statement. ]

That long of a trip?

Three days is a very short trip, your imperial majesty. I'd extend it if I weren't certain you all would perish if I stepped away for more than ten minutes. But don't worry, I'll keep us all safe.

[He clasps his hands together, moving to shuffle past the lot of them. They've reached the max capacity for Miles' bedroom, and it's time for him to go invade other closets.]

With our new guests of honor, we'll likely reach our destination around the time we should rest for the evening. Day two, you all will complain to me about how it's the worst, but worth it because Dorian's still ever so smart and handsome. Day three, we will go home, and Byerly will finally have peace of mind.

Save for the lingering dread that someone will want to engage in this foolishness again at some point in the future.

[ A snort at that. For all his mild complaining, Miles will actually do just fine out in the wilderness for a few days. He'll certainly do much better than By, anyway. ]

Come now, don't be such a wet blanket. This'll be fun.

And like I said, no one likes wet blankets. Bring the tarp.

[Prior clasps Dorian's arm as he passes, letting him be an unofficial escort.]

I used to want to camp. You'd be surprised. But it wasn't done when I was a child. Not so much as a field trip - you don't endanger the progeny of your biggest donors, it's a rule. If they'd let us shiver in tents they'd never have refurbished the library.

That sounds like the last school I ever attended. [Dorian grins, linking arms with Prior to leave the killjoy behind.] So much as whisper to the boy next to you and a staff comes down on your table. I think they made more noise fussing then anyone else did. It was up to me to take my own field trip, and now it's up to us.

[ Rather loudly, at both Dorian and Prior: ]

What sensible people they were, refusing to endanger key individuals. Very smart people.

[From over his shoulder:]

Very, dreadfully boring people!

[A hand over Dorian's, Prior leans in.]

Oh, but I like his fuss. I'd have to fuss so much more without it.

[It lets him feel safe. Which he does, entirely, about this impromptu escapade. They'll be safe with cub-master Pavus, if not necessarily comfortable.]

Come and pack, Byerly. Last to the door's the first one we feed to the bears.

(closed) i want to break free

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