nysalogs | open | your name is on a lot of quotes in this book

Who: Claire Fraser (

nineteenfortyfive) & you
What: May things, lots of moping Claire... forgive me.
When: May
Where: Olympia
Warning(s): General Outlander warnings.

I. THE MARKET

[Her marriage is in an unpleasant place and she doesn't know how to fix it. Percy is in stasis. Ramsay is back. Theon was, for a brief moment, back in stasis as well, but only returned in a worse state than he was. It's been a lot to contend with on top of being so recently tortured (her her hands remain in gloves as her nails grow back, the last of the damage left), and one afternoon as Claire's in the market, standing before a fruit stand, it all catches up to her.

For someone who urges others to confide in someone, anyone, often herself, she doesn't follow her own advice.

She pushes other shoppers out of the way as she suddenly finds it hard to breathe, hard to keep her eyes from welling with tears, and if she slams into anyone there's no apology as she stumbles out and away.

She stops when she comes to a fountain, gasping and sobbing, a hand clutching at her neck as if there's something suffocating her, chest heaving rapidly. No, nothing physical, just an overwhelming sense of sadness. A sadness that turns into more of a frustrated panic as she tries to calm herself, leaning over the water.]

II. THE TRAIN/FLONA COVE

[Percy did have an affinity for water.

Claire knows she can't watch over Theon 24/7. He needs to stand on his own, and he can, and so Claire takes some hours for herself and heads to the beach. She's always enjoyed train rides. Perhaps she's even in the mood for conversation with whoever happens to sit by her.

At the beach, instead of collapsing on the sand and considering letting the waves wash her away, she takes a stroll, skirts tied up over her knees so she can walk in the small waves without getting drenched.

Now and then she stops to pick up a shell. By the end of it, she's got a hefty collection held in her skirt, and dumps her prizes where she's left her shoes.

Well. Now what to do with them?]

III. STASIS

[She spends more time here than she'd ever admit. She makes it sound like her visits are brief. They're not. On leave from the Sanctuary, she's had a lot of time to simply be.

Today, she stands before her daughter's pod. What she'd give to be able to touch her red hair, or at least feel her skin, make sure it's warm. All she can so is press her hands against the glass.]

Sometimes I think you're luckier, in there. Though you'd probably throw a fit at me saying that. I know you'd rather be here, too. I know.

[[ooc: pls choose your flavor of sad mom, or hit me with a wildcard! Oooooor send me a PM if you'd like me to whip up a starter, and I'd be happy to.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ No, he's not pleased at all. He's too distrustful a person, too much about control to be fine with someone stepping into a place that is his own. Claire's presence throws his routine out of order and it makes him anxious.

He keeps to himself more than before. He spends more time with his plants, grooming them and making his trades, finding people to carry him rarities from Wyver. At home, when he speaks to Theon, it's in quiet tones and often away from Claire or when she's out. Maximus goes little out of his way to acknowledge her presence - but he is very, very keenly aware of it. ]

Congratulations.

[ He huffs out a breath from his nose and looks at the door. Right, he thinks. What harm can she do? It's not as if she's trying to poison him. He opens the door and meets her, face to face. ]

You didn't have to go through the trouble for me.

[Theon comes first, and Theon is why she bites back any comments that might be less than pleasant. It's hard, but she's doing her best, and there's even a small smile for Max when she sees him.]

No trouble. Thought you might as well be getting something out of my stay. I'm no chef, but I get by.

[A nod, and she'll lead him to the kitchen. It's nothing fancy--pasta, easy and quick--but she starts serving up a bowl of it.]

I shouldn't be here too long.

[ He follows, and while he does his best to be outwardly civil, his dislike of it all is evident. Maximus takes the bowl of food with a vague look - not that he thinks she'll poison him, he's just not sure of the motivation behind her kindness. ]

Of course. As long as Theon needs you, right?

[ He smiles, thin lipped and tight. ]

[The motivation is Theon. She's pleasant because he doesn't need more stress.]

Right. He's strong. He'll be all right. [Sort of. She's rounding up, here.] I just want to be sure he's got a good start back here.

[And she hopes Max will fill in the gaps when she cannot.]

He's been through hell.

He's stronger than he thinks, though he'll never know it at this rate.

[ Yes, that means that Maximus thinks Claire, and indeed other people, treat Theon too much like a child and not enough like the adult he is. ]

We all experience hardships, and I'm aware his are worse than others, but he needs the chance to sort it out on his own as much as he needs support.

[He's never done a good job of sorting things out on his own before.]

I can't do much for what's on the inside. The outside, yes. He's lost a lot of weight in what I imagine to be a short amount of time and his mouth is a mess. He needs help.

I'm aware he needs help, thank you.

[ Don't insult his intelligence, Claire. ]

Do what you need for his health, but give him room to breathe.

I've done this before.

[Deciding she rather not simply stand there, she starts cleaning up the kitchen, putting away the leftovers. Look, now Max has lunch for work.]

He needs to relearn what it is to be around people that aren't going to hurt him. We're that. He's not going to be ready to step outside into the center of the city for a while, but he can't be left to hide under his bed. I'm not going to sleep at the foot of his bed, but I will be with him.

You seem to enjoy putting words into my mouth, hmm? I don't recall ever saying I was going to force him outside.

[ But he is blaming Claire, and several others here, for letting Theon get to this point in the first place. If they'd been less tender with him, then he'd maybe be a little more well equipped and a little less sensitive. ]

I'm certain he's grateful for your help.

[Claire folds her arms over her chest.]

And you like to assume the worst of people, hmm? I wasn't implying that was your intention, Maximus. I do believe you see him as a friend, as he sees you. You only want him to be well.

Better to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised, then to believe the best and be sorely disappointed.

[ And that probably says a lot about the life Maximus has led. ]

I want him to be much more than well.

[Theon did warn her Max doesn't trust easily. She's too old to try especially hard to get into someone's good graces, but she's promised herself to be pleasant. For Theon. So, pleasant she shall be.]

What, then?

Perhaps all of you have decided that mediocrity suits him best, but I've never found appeal in the idea of being just average. Theon had every potential to be something more than he is, and it's been stolen from him. There's no reason he can't get it back, hmm?

[ Isn't Maximus so kind? Maybe it's easy to see how he was able to get the ear of the people back home, and why people find him sympathetic to their causes. But it's also evident, should one look closely, that Maximus has many wheels turning. What Theon's play in it all is, he's not certain, but he wants to be the one to use it when the time comes. ]

All of you? Dare I ask who it is you're grouping me with?

[It's an effort not to raise her voice. If Theon wasn't in the state he's in, this would already be a shouting match.]

I believe Theon's had enough people determining his life for him. All that matters is that he's healthy and, one day, happy. He's never been able to figure that out. If it's in being average, in being a young man and not a prince or a ward or [Reek] whatever he's been forced to be, then so be it.

[ Oh, Claire, you know full well who all of you are.

Maximus seems unmoved by her sudden fit of temper. ]

Well, I eagerly await the day that he's healthy so you'll no longer be haunting the rooms in my home.

[ Theon may live there, and Maximus may call him a roommate, but the sentiment is clear. This first and foremost belongs to him, and Claire is wholeheartedly not welcome. ]

Do I really bother you that much?

[Truth be told, she's not all that pleased to be staying here, either. She'd much rather Theon be at the house with her, Jamie, and Sansa, but she knows that's asking a lot. Too much, too soon.]

People invading my space bothers me.

[ See, Claire, it's not just you. But he doesn't enjoy Theon having other influences so close and present. Maximus had made missteps before by not keeping a watchful enough eye on those he thought to trust, and even with his kindness, they'd still turned on him. Claire is a variable that Maximus isn't sure how to factor in. ]

Well, you'll have a cook for the next week or so. I hope that's some consolation. Theon will be on a special diet, but I need to eat as well, and I might as well make enough for two.

[That was always going to be her olive branch.]

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