semi-open; birthday at the beach!

[gekkajuu]

Who: a soosh (gekkajuu) & friends & random passers-by maybe?? if your character knows atsushi, feel free to assume they were invited
What: birthday times at the beach! mingle at will; indicate in subject lines if threads are closed
When: this most fifth of days
Where: Flona
Warning(s): none expected! please warn in subject lines where it may apply

After the kidnapping and the dreadful frights that followed, it's been a long climb back up to a better state of mind, but Atsushi has managed it in the end. It still feels strange to celebrate his birthday, but it would feel stranger not to do it, so he's invited a handful of his closest friends - and maybe some other people he knows less well, if circumstances have prompted it - for a day at the beach. There have been several official occasions and big parties lately, and they have been fun, but Atsushi is in the mood for something quieter now. Besides... a huge celebration just for himself wouldn't feel right.

In the morning, most of the invitees gather at the train station to go to Flona together - though of course it's possible to join the party later, too. While Atsushi has tried to politely fend off any inquiries about what he wants for a gift (with one or two notable exceptions), he's requested that everyone bring something to eat or drink, for a nice picnic together on the beach - and of course he's bringing some things himself, as well. The weather is great, the company is better, and all pets are welcome. Food can be eaten, games can be played, and Atsushi feels his heart swell in his chest, thinking how lucky he is to have such friends and such a wonderful life. How could this be anything but a great time?

Comments

you know this to be true

[gekkajuu]

[Of course Atsushi can ask for more... but he really doesn't want to. What he has now is already more than he ever dared to imagine. How could he ever ask more than that?

Flinching briefly at the poke to his forehead (exaggerated, considering how gentle it is - but he doesn't know that in advance!), Atsushi... thinks about that statement, coincidentally totally proving it true.]

... It's not. I have so much already, I really don't think it's fine for me to want even more.

[The problem, of course, is a little bigger than that... but hey, this is a start - and he does try to explain himself more almost immediately.]

It's fine for someone like Chuuya-san to be impulsive, and boldly face any consequences. It suits you! But for me...

Maybe I do worry too much - but I'd rather worry too much than too little. All I want is to be a good person.

I can't risk treating people the way I was treated at the orphanage.

[Maybe not the best conversation for a quiet day on the beach. Then again, what better time to get philosophical?]

True indeed

[thetaintedsorrow]

[All Atsushi wants is to be a good person, huh? As if that’s something he has try for, considering who he is. But he’s stubborn enough that trying to convince him that he’s already doing way more than most people to be a good person is pointless, so Chuuya won’t press.]

Except you’re not a piece of shit, so that would never happen.

[Chuuya can hardly imagine Atsushi physically or verbally abusing anyone. He’s just not that kind of person.

Chuuya scoots closer until the two of them are sharing the same towel before laying his head on Atsushi’s chest, casual as you please. Maybe he’s grown too soft since landing on Nysa, but the mood is too peaceful for him to care all that much. Besides, there’s no pillows out here.]

You don’t have to change your whole personality or anything. I’m just saying you should let loose sometimes.

[gekkajuu]

[It's true that it's unlikely that Atsushi could ever be that terrible, but... is it really impossible? Maybe it is and maybe it isn't, but he can't take that chance. Besides, he has to work so hard just to feel like he's someone who deserves to live, even now... If he accidentally hurt someone - really hurt someone - he'd feel terrible.

He knows that Chuuya's personality is widely different from his own; in part, that's why he's a little fascinated by the man. It's not a bad thing either, he doesn't think: they both are the way they are, and that they get along is the important thing. Atsushi may not be entirely okay with who he is, but he knows he's on the right path, and he believes that one day he will get there. He's come a long way, and he's not dissatisfied with that. It's a little strange to say that, though, isn't it? He sighs, and lifts a hand to gentle pet Chuuya's head. It's barely a conscious action.]

I am letting loose... for me.

Maybe it's strange to you, Chuuya-san, but I am really happy the way I am. I have wonderful friends. I have a good, respectable job. I have a roof over my head that's more than I could possibly need. And, even if I still have a long way to go, I think I may just manage to become a good person someday, and leave my past behind me for good.

I have so much more than I ever thought I'd have. Wanting more feels almost obscene.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[It’s pretty impressive how Atsushi seems to keep bouncing back from things that might just break another person. All of his childhood abuse, everything that’s happened since he’d arrived on Nysa; if Atsushi can say that he’s truly happy despite what he’s been through, then Chuuya will respectfully accept that. It’s admirable, really, to move on and grow stronger instead of wallowing in your own sorrow.]

Then keep on living, and enjoy it. It’s not everyday that people say that they’re actually happy with their life and mean it, so.

[It makes Chuuya wonder just what he’d have to do to make himself truly happy. Drifting through life with no greater purpose, no cause to serve, is something that’s hindering him from true happiness, but like hell he’s just going to mope about it. He’ll just keep searching, and hopefully achieve the contentment with life that everybody strives for.

Chuuya is enjoying that gentle touch, but he feels like he should make eye contact for this conversation, and he lifts his head to look Atsushi in the eye.]

Keep doing what you’re doing, if it makes you happy.

[A pause as Chuuya thinks on what else he should say.]

I’ll stay in the mansion as long as you want me to.

[gekkajuu]

[It's not through any effort of his that he manages to keep bouncing back, or so Atsushi would say; it's just that he has no choice. He wants to live. As long as he keeps living, there is hope: hope that he can help more people, be a better person, leave his past behind him. He doesn't exactly need Chuuya's permission for that, but he figures that Chuuya saying what he does means that he's gotten his message across, and that's worth a lot.

He looks at Chuuya as he lifts his head, figuring that he's about to say something important - but what Atsushi hears makes him laugh sheepishly.]

You say that as if I'd ever stop wanting you there.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Chuuya isn’t one for catching feelings, at least not easily, but he can’t deny the way that Atsushi’s words warm his heart and make it flutter in his chest. How dare Atsushi give him feelings that that?? Especially when they’re close enough that hiding his reaction is difficult. At least he’s not blushing.

Chuuya’s lips curve into a soft smile, and though they aren’t exactly alone on the beach, Chuuya feels like they’re having a moment in their own little world right now.]

Well now I’m definitely not leaving.

[He shouldn’t tease him like this, but Chuuya presses his lips to Atsushi’s anyway, not really caring who sees.]

[gekkajuu]

[Funnily enough, Atsushi is the same: they're out in public, but it doesn't feel like that at all. It's like, now that they've reached the destination for their day out, they're really away from everything.

So he blushes at the kiss, but only because of his own feelings; not because he's embarrassed. It's strange how things can feel so good yet also make him panic a little, like having something nice just gives him more to lose. He refuses to give in to the darker side of those feelings, though: he simply feels a bit nervous somehow, more like butterflies in his stomach than anything else.]

... Good.

[Definitely blushing now, as much for the would-be boldness of that statement as because of his feelings.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[It’s funny how someone as experienced in the world as Chuuya is practically a stranger to this kind of thing. Not the kissing, but the soft, fluttery feelings behind that kind of gesture when it actually means something. He can make out with and fuck someone without feeling anything more than lust, and yet here he is, getting all emotional over a kiss.

He hides it well enough, but the blush on Atsushi’s cheeks indicates that he might be feeling something too (something other than embarrassment, that is), and Chuuya might just have to hide a blush threatening to creep onto his own cheeks by kissing him yet again.

Even Chuuya isn’t shameless enough to go much further with the threat of prying eyes, though, so he’ll settle for a teasing nip to Atsushi’s neck.]

I’ll give you the rest of your gifts when we get back.

[That has a double meaning, because he does have some outfits waiting for Atsushi at the mansion, but also birthday sex.]