[ Let's say, hypothetically, that they're friends. Let's say also, that Bruce has inculcated careful habits, and one of them is an irregular showing at Jim's apartment to "borrow" his first aid supplies or pick up something from the fridge. Let's agree that Jim has kept any amusement over the matter to himself, and doesn't bat an eye at the kind of person he's acquired. ]
[ But it's one of those times he returns and finds Bruce still here, prodding at some leftovers with a fork, with a distinctly decisive downward motion the moment Jim sits at the table. ]
[ In this wonderful time pre-dragonpocalypse, Jim is more than happy to sit at the small table in his shitty apartment and pretend he hasn't lowkey been treating this human being like a stray cat. Leaves the porch light on, leaves food out, occasionally gets close enough to run a wary hand down sleek fur - though not for long.
(He thinks Alan (Bruce?) would be one of those fucked up cats who likes being pet backwards. And still likes him.) ]
Nah, you're much too smart for that, [ he says, plopping a grease-stained paper bag on the table between them. French fries, or the closest equivalent, still warm. They go great with cold leftovers, some of which Jim is also going to partake in. ] You're exploiting my soft heart.
[ Still likes him. It's not some unlocked door, some blast of clarity. Bruce is one asshole pretending to be another type of asshole and inside it's just jackassery all the way down. He's graceless about closeness. It's a labyrinth of connection he never bothered with, knowing he was unpalatable. ]
[ Some people will eat just about anything. Case in point, French fries and this... something, which is getting pushed to the middle of the table. There's a soft hum at the words, but he always liked people who roll with the punches. ]
No, this is a devious plan. You're working up to something.
[ His tone is flat, with a particular cant for teasing. ]
[ It was supposed to be lasagna. Jim'll eat anything, too, so who knows. He saves money this way; money is both mysterious and evil to him. He'd rather spend it on other people, and so he scrapes together supplies for himself in a strictly minimalist fashion. ]
Oh yeah? [ He sticks a fork in the something, which was pushed to the middle of the table. (Not the catchiest name.) ] What do you suspect?
[ You seem like you're in a good mood, Spooky, are you okay. Is Jim about to get shanked. ]
[ OK well > Batman > Expects Jim to believe he can't kill somebody with a fork ]
Mm. [ He finishes his mouthful of something, and a fry. ] Usually I'll just sit here and enjoy the silent atmosphere created by your unique corporeal haunting. You're the one opening up conversation.
[ Is Jim being baited, or is Alan just in a good mood? Mysterious. ]
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[ But it's one of those times he returns and finds Bruce still here, prodding at some leftovers with a fork, with a distinctly decisive downward motion the moment Jim sits at the table. ]
You've been conditioning me.
no subject
(He thinks Alan (Bruce?) would be one of those fucked up cats who likes being pet backwards. And still likes him.) ]
Nah, you're much too smart for that, [ he says, plopping a grease-stained paper bag on the table between them. French fries, or the closest equivalent, still warm. They go great with cold leftovers, some of which Jim is also going to partake in. ] You're exploiting my soft heart.
no subject
[ Some people will eat just about anything. Case in point, French fries and this... something, which is getting pushed to the middle of the table. There's a soft hum at the words, but he always liked people who roll with the punches. ]
No, this is a devious plan. You're working up to something.
[ His tone is flat, with a particular cant for teasing. ]
no subject
Oh yeah? [ He sticks a fork in the something, which was pushed to the middle of the table. (Not the catchiest name.) ] What do you suspect?
[ You seem like you're in a good mood, Spooky, are you okay. Is Jim about to get shanked. ]
no subject
Hm. Trying to make me chatty.
[ He jabs very deliberately into one of those fries. ]
no subject
> Batman
> Expects Jim to believe he can't kill somebody with a fork ]
Mm. [ He finishes his mouthful of something, and a fry. ] Usually I'll just sit here and enjoy the silent atmosphere created by your unique corporeal haunting. You're the one opening up conversation.
[ Is Jim being baited, or is Alan just in a good mood? Mysterious. ]