nysalogs | Remember me, once in a while (OPEN)

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Remember me, once in a while (OPEN)

Who: Diva (

colorature) & YOU
What: Diva finally realizes two of her favourite humans (JJ ~~her husband~~ and Eggsy) have fallen back asleep. She's throwing a fit(?) over it...because what is normal, functional coping???
When: Mid-August
Where: Olympia
Warning(s): Small vampire queen throwing a tantrum. Uhh...blood/gore...eating her feelings...yeah. She's a vampire, after all! Will be updated if need be.

TARGET PRACTICE

_{[It's funny, just how much she cares.

Perhaps that's why she's so furious, more so at herself than the fact two of her favourite humans had been put back to sleep. At first she'd found it odd that neither of them had wished her a happy birthday or hadn't bothered to attend. Sure, she only half thought (half-hoped, really) that JJ would've shown his face at her party but at least Eggsy would've. He'd seen what she was capable of, the true height of her ferocity and carnage and he hadn't been afraid of her.

JJ had though, understandably. She can't fault him for that...but she can find fault in everything else, including herself. Just when she thinks she has things figured out she's hit with a setback, a blunt, honest reminder of what she is and that at the end of the day she's just trying to play a part and fit in. Even then she's not doing a very good job of it. Sure, the natives don't seem to mind her fangs and those who don't know about her diet pay her no heed...but eventually the end seems to be the same. Some are frightened or they leave her side.

Why did she have to care?

It was so much easier when she saw humans as food and nothing more - completely and utterly beneath her. Sure, there were a few brilliant ones she could appreciate, like those great musicians and composers who penned the pieces of music she was so fond of. Sure, she wouldn't deny the triumphs or accomplishments of the human race, but she sure as hell was jealous of them.

Perhaps it wasn't so much jealousy anymore that she held. That feeling had waned when she'd found herself here on a new planet with new opportunities and chances. If anything the prevailing feeling now was one of loneliness if not fear. A fear that stemmed from not wanting to be lonely in the first place.

People are still in the process of cleaning up Olympia, of building things back up to their original splendor. It'll take some time and so a little more disorder here and there will go unnoticed. At her feet is a pile of rubble, stones from various buildings that may or may not be left standing anymore. Her target is across from her - a lone standing brick wall - that she's decided to whip the rubble at, watching with a blank, muted expression as pieces of debris goes flying. Her hands are dirty from digging around, her white dress equally stained. She doesn't care though, she never has. After all, she's always a mess. Part of her wonders if it would be satisfying to throw one of her makeshift projectiles at someone's head, just to see what would happen...but she sticks to her wall instead. It's best to steer clear of her path, lest you end up an unfortunate victim of a flick of her wrist gone wrong.]}

EATING YOUR FEELINGS

_{[She hadn't meant to kill him.

Having lead a man she'd picked up wandering about the Red Light district to the outskirts of the forest, Diva had drunk her willing victim dry. He had struggled, of course, once he realized her appetite wasn't going to be sated by a single sip, but his fetish had turned into a living nightmare far too quickly for him to act against her. (Not that he'd ever have a chance in Hell in the first place.)

It's not that she feels sad for him that she finds herself crying, mouth bloody as she sits under a tree, back up against a sturdy trunk. The body of the nameless man is nowhere to be found - she'd gotten rid of it (read: tossed it up into the higher branches of another tree for scavengers to finish off). All that's left is one of the man's humerus bones, stripped of flesh and currently being stress-gnawed on. Her knees are tucked close to her chest, her long, black hair pooled around her. Hadn't she promised Cain that she'd try to do better? That she wouldn't let her instincts get the best of her? This is exactly the kind of macabre behaviour she'd tried to mask from JJ in the first place, only for him to get a front seat to a horror show of complete and utter carnage.

But what does it really matter? Human lives were so fleeting to begin with.

She's somewhat tucked away in the trees but not far enough away that it isn't impossible to stumble upon her as she sniffles and chews. If you do though it's best to err on the side of caution. She could very well still be hungry, especially when she's essentially just eating her feelings at this point.]}

GOING BATTY

_{[It's late. Diva should be in her nightgown and tucked away in bed. Is she? Of course not. Instead she can be found climbing the wreckage that hasn't been cleared away, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, only to dangle herself dangerously off the edge of a roof of what appears to be a small, now hollowed out chapel. She's sitting at least while her legs hang over, swinging carelessly, bare heels whacking against the brick. She's people watching, not really caring whether or not she's seen. Of course, the sight of a girl who looks like she just might push herself willingly off the edge of a roof is cause for concern to anyone who might spot her, but she seems content to stay put in place.

From up here things look different. Not just literally, of course, but for now that's what she's focused on. Her new perspective has her pointing to the ground if you pass by beneath her. She may be more akin to a demon in nature but in this particular moment she may act like your guardian angel.]}

Watch out for the hole to your left-! The ground'll swallow you up if you fall down there.

_{[She's already seen it happen to a few unfortunate animals earlier on when the sun had begun to set. She knows what she's talking about.]}

WILDCARD

_{[I'm down to do a personalized starter or leave me something and I'll roll with it!]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you positive?

[The aggression? Noted. As should the skepticism in his tone.]

I'm fairly certain you know that not to be true. You've been enduring an inordinate amount of pain as of late, but I wish you wouldn't say such things.

[It was inevitable that they would part someday, their time together was just unreasonably short. Safe isolation in a castle isn't such a bad idea, is it?]

Since when do you rely on others to measure your significance?

_{[Isolation isn't such a bad idea, but it isn't exactly one that'd guarantee happiness - she'd spent numerous years in forced isolation and all it had done was warp and twist her into what she is now. It's also true that she exists, in a way, outside time in of itself. Forever is a very long time, after all, and while immortality is all she's ever known...the idea of enduring it alone hasn't been very palatable lately.

Not that she'd have to be alone, a fact she needs to remind herself of. She had Solomon, of course, a constant anchor in a sea of uncertainty...that is unless he was inevitably put to sleep by the Natha too.]}

What significance? How can one be significant if there aren't others to be significant to?

_{[Back on Earth? Sure. She was special. Here though? Living in a world that didn't have the same constraints as the one she'd been born into? Kind of makes her uniqueness a little less charming, at least in her opinion.]}

To you I'm your world because Amshel made it so.

_{[When he'd had her turn him all those years ago. Whether or not Solomon wanted her to be so significant to him, it was impossible to deny their unbreakable connection forged by the blood and second life she'd given him.]}

But if you were the you before you met me I'm sure your opinion would be different.

Edited (i apparently can't spell ) 2018-08-22 23:52 (UTC)

[He'll heft a sigh, staring out at the horizon. Even in discussing birth and a lack of fertility, this all bears much more weight.]

You're cheapening our experiences because you're in a bad mood.

[Firmly, though it isn't as if she's offended him.]

Before JJ you were carrying on just fine, prior to myself as well.

[The difference here is that she's searching for stability, whereas he's okay walking through life with his thumb up his ass. He's tired, in general. Nothing's particularly exciting anymore, nothing here has engaged him as much as he'd hoped.]

It's an argument that works both ways, you should appreciate those aberrations...your [...] cherished encounters, instead of working them against yourself.

Was I fine?

_{[The answer is no, she wasn't fine - just ignorant. What a blissful state that had been. Even so Solomon isn't wrong - her mood isn't helping. Solomon may be bored with life but there's so much left for her to explore and learn. Nysa has granted her an unlimited amount of freedom in a way and she's intending to use it to the full extent.]}

I do appreciate them. That doesn't mean I have to be content with what's happened.

_[Moody.]

You were.

[He knows that rebuttal was meant to conflict with his implications; there's no way of knowing anything about Diva for certain beyond the time he'd personally been in touch with her. Even so, she was alive and capable. Isn't that enough?]

I won't ask you to be happy about it, but you aren't the only one contending with a loss.

[Be sad about it but maybe don't destroy this building or ask him tough questions that require some level of emotion to address, jeeze.]

_{[Even if Solomon is an ass he does offer perspective and commentary that is useful. It's not like what he's saying is wrong - she isn't the only one dealing with losing someone else. However other people's losses aren't what have been on her mind. It's not that she's selfish per say, just self interested.]}

...Are you?

_{[She seems to deflate a little, prickling less as she looks to find some sort of common ground with her Chevalier - a means of relating and sympathizing. It's easier to feel shitty if you have someone to share that feeling with, after all.]}

[There's a kneejerk no sitting at the tip of his tongue; it doesn't find a voice, and yet, saying yes would be somewhat dramatic, not to say he's shy about dramatics; JJ was someone he'd been close with, intimately, but there wasn't a connection. They had very little in common outside of that.]

You don't need to worry about me, Diva.

[Deja vu. He's not sure where she's going with this, but mutually mourning JJ isn't a path he's completely interested in treading....

He'd like it too much, could he watch.]

Edited 2018-08-29 09:50 (UTC)

You must be happy.

_{[Ah...she's sour...but what is she talking about exactly? She's complained about JJ and Eggsy but someone else has been left unmentioned until now, if only because she knows there'll be glee on Solomon's face at the news.]}

Reign is asleep.

_{[That particular tidbit of information triggered a fit Solomon was lucky to miss. Now she's just bitter.]}

You're right, he wasn't a suitable bridegroom in the end...not that it matters anymore.

_{[Tried so hard, got so far etc.]}

[What a wild ass accusation...until she specifies what she's talking about, at least. She'll get something of a quizzical look, brows furrowed. He doesn't truthfully spend much time visiting those asleep, filing through his contacts to see who made it to next sunrise.

Though he may start, if only for a few days.

Reign...ah. At least he's not being accused of that disappearance. As for relief? There is none; he feels nothing.]

I'm not happy for your grief, Diva.

[Some clarification, but no outright denial. He's quiet in light of her assessment -- he has nothing to say about it otherwise..when ur right ur right.]

If he wakes up...you can do whatever you please to him.

_{[And that's all she'll say on the matter. As harsh as her feelings might be, with Reign asleep and inattentive, he's just as useful to her as if he were dead. She'll throw him to the wolves, or at the very least to Solomon - she's washed her hands clean of that emotional attachment.

Or so she thinks, for now.]}

Hey Solomon...

_{[She starts softer this time, features on her face relaxing as she stops her legs from swaying.]}

Do you ever miss being human?

_{[Maybe not a question he's expecting from her, but it is something she's been thinking about. For all the effort she's put into trying to fit in, she still ultimately lacks the experience and perspective of what it's like to be human. She'll never know what it's like...but Solomon's had the unique experience of being both. So clearly, he's the best to ask.]}

Noted.

[Happily so. It's rare for her to commandeer him with such brutality as of late. Taking out his frustrations on a newly-woken annoyance -- he's in a better mood now, even as she pries into his past. It's never been something to keep hush-hush about in the first place...]

No. [Though, were he human, he'd be dead at this point which is his current most important goal. Sorry Diva.] Not really. It's all the same.

[Beasts, everyone.]

...It's all the same? It can't be. That doesn't make any sense.

_{[How could being human and being a Chiropteran be the same experience? There was no way that could be the case.]}

If it were the same then why are humans so difficult to understand? Why are they so quick to hate someone like me, even when I try to be good?

[Would he truly go back? Only to reverse certain aspects of himself. Overall, he's fine as is. His regrets aren't so great.]

Humans are fragile, they frighten easily. Especially when they see things they cannot explain, or think it shouldn't be.

[Like ghosts or vampires.]

It isn't anything you've done, but rather, their inability to process certain things. Does that make sense?

I suppose so.

_{[It does make sense, at least enough that she can see where Solomon is coming from. It's true that humans were frightened by what they couldn't understand...but then why had people been so accepting of Saya instead of her? Sure, Diva knows the answer - Saya had been raised a prim and proper Lady. Of course out of the two of them she'd be the one to be preferred.

Tired of being upright Diva decides to flop back onto the roof, Solomon's jacket still around her shoulders, hair splayed and falling every which way around her. Sure, she can see up Solomon's nose from this position but otherwise it's a decent view.

The stars are pretty, at least.]}

Were you afraid when I turned you? Was it something you wanted?

[Two different breeds...she and Saya...]

Of course I was frightened. [Who wouldn't be -- he technically had to experience death. A nonfactor now, laughable in hindsight, if not regrettable. Nothing had changed much, barring his entire disposition.] I wanted it at the time. Humans are always trying to exceed their limits. How many other have you fed from since you've arrived? It's of the same vein. Being great, being valuable. Haven't you noticed?

_{[Was it really the same though? Those she had fed from had either been unwilling victims (that had died) or those she'd asked to drink from. The rest had been people with certain...kinks if you will, not necessarily vying for her power.

Hearing that Solomon was frightened though...it makes her heart skip a beat.]}

And I'm those things? Great and valuable?

_{[She expects him to say yes, of course. He's usually a yes man, unless he's telling her she can't have x or do y for various (albeit correct) reasons.]}

What frightens you now? _{[That's something she wants to know as she sits up again, pushing hair out of her face.]} I think I'd very much like to give you a fright if I could.

Yes, Diva.

[As expected; it goes without saying, so he'll skip the explanation. He's sure she'd like to hear why despite, but he isn't feeling so generous. There's barely a moment's contemplation as she draws her query to the present. Could she muster up something enough to distress him in such a way? Perhaps. Perhaps not.]

Eternal life, there isn't anything more horrifying. Time and time again I've come so close only to be restored.

[Also probably not something she wants to hear him say at the moment?? All things considered??]

I can't contrive anything worse, can you?

_{[Definitely not the right thing to say right now.

Her displeasure is immediately made known as creases begin to form on her face, as if she'd just smelt curdled milk. Eternal life? That was what terrified him now? That's what he thought was horrifying and terrible?]}

But you have me to spend it with.

_{[There's distress forming in her lower gut as she pushes herself up to stand, balancing with ease on the uneven shingles of the roof. Was this her own little fright she was feeling all of a sudden?]}

Why is it horrifying? How can you not think of anything worse?

_{[It's a reality she's always known, after all, and in a way she feels insulted. It's a back handed jab at the life she'd given him (or cursed him with) along with her own existence.]}

You would rather be dead than live with me?

Edited 2018-09-03 18:15 (UTC)

[He probably should have considered every possible angle of his response. That would have quashed it in his throat, and then he would have nothing to respond with. He'll hold his ground, brows slightly tense as she rises and moves closer.]

Can you think of anything worse?

[Outliving everyone and everything, barring..barring all of her favorites. Anyone she so chooses.

It's easier for her.]

You're misunderstanding. If it were so simple, I wouldn't have any grievances, obviously.

_{[But it is so simple, as far as she's concerned. He shouldn't have any grievances and yet here he is, airing them. Sure, of course she could think of things that were far worse, but that's only because her perspective is different. She's never had to fear death or think about growing old. She's never had to worry about an end, so to speak.]}

Being alone is worse, for one. There's nothing terrible about limitless time, or are you telling me you've learned everything there is to learn? Seen everything there is to see?

_{[Maybe get a fucking hobby???]}

Or am I not enough for you? Am I not a good enough companion, is that it? Are you bored and tired of me now?

[This is a conversation he'd never meant to have with Diva; it isn't as if he's learned everything, but he's learned enough. Seen, heard, tasted, smelled -- he's tired. He's unmoved by her argument, regarding her impassively, quietly.

Perhaps anticipating for her to turn this back unto herself. He'll look off to the side -- upwards still, heave a very deliberate sigh.]

Were that the case, I wouldn't be here with you. This isn't something you have to take so personally.

[???]

How am I not supposed to take it personally?

_{[Ah, she's fussing now, lips turned down fully as she crosses her arms over her chest. Somehow, during all of this, she'd slipped her arms through the arms of his jacket. It's too big for her, naturally, and she's sort of left swimming in it.

Sad.]}

How am I ever to know what you're thinking or feeling if you never tell me? I don't know what you think of me at all.

It isn't something you must burden yourself with.

[Something like that. A copout response, but he hasn't any resentment for her. There isn't any need for such a sentiment.]

You are my queen, Diva. The theatrics don't concern you, unless you believe my personal feelings have negatively affected our bond in some way.

[Solomon's never going to be part of Truth Or Dare Gossip Hour Girly Sleepover Time Best Friends Forever with Diva, it's a professional affiliation.

Even if things end up like this on occasion.]

_{[It's a deflection. That's what he always seems to do when she tries to articulate how she feels. Sure, the reassurance of loyalty is there but it feels sterile and cold. Right now that isn't something she needs. What she needs is tender reaffirmation which sure, was something Amshel excelled at more than Solomon ever had but still - shouldn't he pick up the slack?

She deflates a little at that, closing the distance between them as she presses her forehead against his chest, head dipped as her arms dangle either side of her. Things were so much easier when she didn't care about others or hadn't opened her heart up.

Everything lately feels messy.

When she speaks again it's with a mutter.]}

I don't know what your personal feelings are.

_{[So she can't really comment, can she?]}

Edited 2018-09-06 14:17 (UTC)

[It's less hostile than he would've imagined, not that Diva beats him on the regular...or...ever...but he was anticipating something with bite; she's stressed, he's not helping. A hand will find the back of her head, encouraging that closeness, fingering through the back of her hair.]

You're far too concerned with that. My personal feelings matter very little, Diva.

[Solomon's the guy who skipped on voting and accidentally helped Donald Trump become white house heir.]

What's important is that I'm here, Diva, as always.

[Forever...unless he can convince the Natha to foreverial kill him.]

Remember me, once in a while (OPEN)

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