(no subject)

[givingback]

Who: Brianna Randall (givingback) & Theon 'look at your life, look at your choices' Greyjoy (reek)
What: so a displaced redhead and a tortured sea-farer run into a bar.
When: once house Fraser Stark is back up and running.
Where: Olympia
Warning(s): alcohol cw, possible talks of torture.


[ It's been a day. One day since she'd been made aware that Theon would be moving in when Bree still felt settled, not at home in her own skin. Home is people her mother had said, and yet, Bree very minimally knows the people living under the same roof with her. Even Claire, to some extent, since the life she was presented with wasn't even the life she'd wanted. It was just what she'd been dealt and she'd done what she could with it. She's gotten to know Fergus a little, but Jamie's a ghost and Bree feels like she's trying to keep her head above water.

She's not sleeping well; she gets up and wanders this new home, finding alcohol in the third or fourth room she peeks into. Sittig down on the floor cross-legged, she pours a glass and drinks it quickly, followed quickly by a second before she pours again and this time just lets it sit, the bottle empty which forces her to conserve. Sitting with her knees raised to her chest, she wraps her arms around them, staring at whatever happens to be on the walls. It's not so much that she hears anyone join her, rather than she sense someone, so she looks up only to see Theon. ]

I couldn't sleep. But I can go.

[ This doesn't feel like her space, not at all. ]

Comments

[reek]

[ Theon has taken up refuge in Robb’s old room, both comforted and made miserable by how little it’s changed. He’s hardly shown his face, but his dogs have been more than enough to make his presence known. Two are friendly enough, but the third is a foreboding hellhound who acts as Theon’s shadow, protective in a sinister sort of way.

That hound is the one who follows him, just as silent as Theon is, but she settles herself in the doorway, pinning Bree with a yellow-eyed stare. Theon, however, pays the dog no mind. He knows what sets Alison off, and he doesn’t expect to be here long enough to set her off at all.

He merely shakes his head, not looking at Bree. He feels as if he doesn’t belong here any longer, not without the Starks. It’s almost as though he’s intruding upon someone else’s life—but not someone else’s alcohol. The Starks had been good enough to stash some of that away, likely hiding it from one another or from Theon himself. Too little, too late, because he carries a bottle along with him. ]

You’ve already made yourself more comfortable than I have.

[ He reaches for a glass, pours, downs it as easily as water, and refills it once more. It’s only then that he glances her way and spies her own empty bottle. With the slightest smirk, he takes pity on her, tops his own glass off, and passes the half-empty bottle her way. ]

I’m sure you can find a way to get to sleep.

[ Drinking himself to sleep is something he's done more times than he cares to admit. ]

[givingback]

[ The dog is unnerving and Bree doesn't like it. The other two are fine, but this one? This one seems to hate her on sight even though she keeps her distance. Theon earns some points though as Brianna takes the bottle from him. ]

Hopefully, this does the trick. But I'm not comfortable.

[ And it doesn't have as much to do with him being there as he might think. ]

Thanks. For the bottle. I don't know whose alcohol I just finished, but we're all one big happy family, right? I'm sure it's fine.

[ She's a little toasty already, and she tosses back her glass only to refill it with the booze Theon's given her. She's quiet for a second, not wanting to talk about him, not wanting to have an awkward non-conversation about his torture. So, they can talk about Claire, maybe. ]

When I first came out of stasis and I found my mother I thought maybe...maybe now we'd start where we left off and have the kind of relationship I always wanted. The kind I always saw on TV. Like Beaver Cleaver, I guess.

[ She realizes he has no clue what that is, probably and lets out a breath, explaining a little more. ]

A relationship where she wanted to be around me and I could get to know her better.

[reek]

If it tasted like piss and water, it was more than likely left behind by Jon Snow.

[ A smirk flits across his face, just a small tug at the corner of his mouth. He had been getting along quite well with Eddard Stark’s bastard son for the very first time in his life, but now that Theon is the only Westerosi left in the house, it eases his loneliness to return to his old habit of poking fun at Jon.

Theon had intended to return to his room after retrieving a glass, but when Bree clears away the confusion of 1950s television references that he will never be capable of understanding, he really can’t. He shares her sentiment too well in regards to his own family and the Starks. With a soft ”Alison, stay” that hardly sounds like a proper command at all, he takes his glass and sinks down onto the floor opposite of Bree. The hound obeys, or rather merely recognizes that there’s no reason to growl or attack.

He sighs and takes a good swig of his drink before he speaks. ]

She wants to be around you. You would know if she didn’t.

[givingback]

[ It surprises her when he sits but she doesn't object. He gave her more alcohol, after all. She can't be rude. Besides, she doesn't want to be, she doesn't know fully how she's supposed to engage with him. But the door's open now, so she let out a breath. ]

Maybe that's true, but she's done a terrible job of actually being around.

[ Bree swallows about half of her glass, head falling back to rest on the seat of the armchair behind her head. ]

It's been that way forever. There's always been something happening more critical than whatever I needed her for. When I was in school, she'd make so many things that I needed for class, costumes for plays. Whether or not she'd ever see me in the actual play was always a toss-up.

[ Which is stupid to hold onto now, childhood performances that lead to nothing, really. It's not as if Bree became the next Audrey Hepburn or anything. ]

I did everything with my father. He taught me everything. And now he's gone, and he wasn't even the person I thought he was because she lied to me, my entire life.

[ Sorry, Theon. It all sort of...came out. She has a lot to work through, apparently. ]

pls pardon my username rename

[reek]

[ This is why Theon hadn’t wanted to return. He already feels as though he soaks up so much of Claire’s time without truly meaning to do so. He would love to leave Claire to spend more time with her true children but he’s a medical train wreck, physically and mentally, and although he tries, he doesn’t do so well on his own. Unfortunately, with Maximus gone, he officially has no one else.

Theon can’t say he knows exactly how she feels. His parents weren’t there for him at all. They were an entire sea away, contacting him as little as possible. He’s learned everything he knows from maesters and masters-at-arms. All his father ever taught him was how not to go about rebelling, but Theon listens to Bree’s woes. He drinks and he listens, until ]

I wasn’t raised by my mother or father. I was raised instead in Lord Eddard Stark’s household, among his children. Never one of them, but among them. I still have enough fingers to count on them how many times my father wrote to me. My mother never did. Nor did my sister.

[ He doesn’t say it, but it’s clear that the implication is you had someone there, and they cared about you deeply. ]

Why should your mother’s lies change your view of the man you called your father?

it's so fitting

[givingback]

[ Bree takes that information in about Theon, unsure what to do with it. ]

They don't change my views of him other than knowing he loved me even if I must have reminded him every day of the man my mother truly wanted to be with. It changes my view of them together, of the life they tried to pass off as genuine for twenty years.

[ It doesn't matter. Her 'problems' if they could even be called that sound petty and childish and more like whining compared to everything she learns about the person sitting next to her. ]

Why didn't your parents raise you?

[reek]

Is that not common? In Westeros, marriages are usually arranged. They aren’t always particularly happy.

[ Bree’s problems are practically foreign to Theon. He doesn’t want to minimize them, but they seem to small in hindsight. She was allowed to grow up at home with two parents. Perhaps one was absent more than the other—but is that strange? Even while on Pyke, Theon saw his lord father far less than his lady mother. He had more duties to carry out, after all, and Theon can’t say if his mother and father were truly a happy couple. Either way, despite the lies she had been fed, Theon would have killed for a family life like Bree’s, a life where he was love and accepted and cared for. ]

When I was young, my father tried to rebel against the crown. The Iron Islands were once a kingdom all their own, free from the rule of the mainland. He wanted that again.

[ He takes a drink before he continues, a sign that this story doesn’t end well. ]

The rebellion was crushed. My father was force to swear fealty to the crown once more, but my brothers had died while fighting. That left me as his last living male heir. A bargain was struck. My father could keep his titles and his islands, but I would be taken to Winterfell, to the mainlands, as a hostage. I was nine years old.

[ Too old to be allowed to weep, but too young to be considered a man. ]

It was to ensure my father behaved himself. It wouldn’t have ended well for me if he hadn’t.

[ Essentially, a child punished for his father’s crimes. It’s the reason Theon grew up so bitter and angry. ]

[givingback]

Women tend to think for themselves now.

[ She listens quietly, drinking still and staring at the fire as she wraps her mind around all Theon is explaining. He was a tool, a bargaining chip, and his family seemed to hardly care where he was as long as they kept their kingdom. Christ.

Her problems are stupid. That's not belonging or knowing where the hell anyone wants you. ]

Things aren't like that in my time. I mean, I assume, I don't know the deep functioning of other families, but...people tend to solve their problems without getting kids involved. Mostly.

[ They can probably become pawns in divorce settlements or something. ]

I'm sorry I dumped all of me really paltry story in comparison on you. You have enough to deal with without someone whining at you.

[reek]

[ Theon wasn’t the only ward in Westeros. The practice was common enough, but it always seemed like Theon had it harder. Being ironborn, already a people despised by the mainlanders, and being the son of the only fool who dared to rebel against the Iron Throne, everyone in the North knew exactly what he was and exactly what would happen if his father should rebel again. He was always held at arm’s length, always regarded with a suspicious gaze, often spoken to in harsh tones. Little wonder he grew up so bitter and haphazard.

He can imagine no world in which children aren’t involved in their family’s problems, so for for a moment, he regards Bree with a steady gaze, as if he’s searching for a lie. Finding none, his response is blunt: ]

Good.

[ If there’s a world and a time where children don’t have to grow up as he did or die as young as Robb had, it must be a better world than Westeros. ]

Paltry. Anything sounds paltry compared to that.

[ He settles back again, draining his glass with a snort. Though he does agree, she has little to complain about in the grand scheme of things, but he’s doing his best not to point it out. They have to live together. ]

Your mother is around now. Believe me, you’ve no way to escape her, and you'll wish you could.

[ Speaking from experience. ]

[givingback]

[ Sounds like they've shared the same Claire Fraser experience and Bree laughs a little in spite of feeling like shit that she's ever complained about anything to Theon. Maybe she should just not say anything to him about her life and they'll get along great. ]

She hovers. Have you noticed that? She physically stands close when you're doing something simple. And you can tell she wants to step in so bad.

[reek]

[ He laughs. He actually, genuinely, truly laughs. ]

Aye, I have. Every time I try to tell her that everything is fine, she never believes me.

[ Likely because nothing is ever fine with Theon Greyjoy, but he can’t keep up a tough facade if Claire doesn’t let him. ]

She keeps digging until I speak to her about it. Every time.

[ He really is grateful that someone cares about him as much as Claire does, but sometimes he really would like to be left alone. The trouble is, it just isn’t healthy for him. ]

[givingback]

[ Wow, she got him to emote in a positive way somehow. That's a win, right??? ]

Now multiply that by twenty years, Theon.

[ Still, there's a small, fond smile on her face and she shakes her head a little. ]

She means well. I know she does. Even when it doesn't feel that way. I didn't realize it until she was gone.

[reek]

[ It is very much a win. Theon doesn’t smile often anymore, and laughter that isn’t on the verge of being unhinged is even more rare. ]

I know she does. I don’t know how long it’s been since I last saw my mother, but I imagine she would behave the same.

[ When Westeros still existed, his mother was actually half mad with grief, asking after her son. Theon doesn’t know that. It’s probably for the best. ]

[givingback]

Ultimately, she cares for you. I don't think that's such a bad thing, not really.

[ Look, you can't be afraid to tell her 'no' sometimes. Bree certainly isn't. ]

What would you do? If your mother woke up from stasis?

[reek]

[ He knows she does. He’s just stubborn and paranoid and often tries to push her away because of it. Living half a life being held at arm’s length under threat of death does things to you. ]

I’m not sure it would matter. I doubt she would even recognize me.

[ He hasn’t thought about it. He’s had so few people he cares about wake and stay awake, he’s tried not to get his hopes up. ]

I returned home, once. Before—

[ Before Ramsay, he means to say, but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to turn the conversation in that direction at all. He closes his eyes momentarily to regroup his thoughts, and he tries again. ]

Before…everything, but she was away. My lord father said she had taken ill and was staying on one of the other islands. My sister tried to convince me to pay her a visit before I left. I didn’t listen.

[givingback]

[ Well that's terrible. She wonders what would have happened if he'd visited her. She wonders now what would happen if she woke up and saw her son this way, if she did realize it was him. It's not for her to wonder, though, and she takes a sip of her drink. ]

You know that...as long as you're here and my mother's awake, you'll be family to her. And I know I'm not exactly a good welcome committee, there was so much that was different in such a short amount of time, which isn't an excuse, I know.

[ But... ]

It's okay that you're here. I'm okay with you being here.