A Guarded Surprise

[tummyflowers]

Who: King Richard (tummyflowers) & Magnus Burnsides (ruffboi) & The Royal Guard!
What: Magnus and Richard have concocted a plan to train the new trainees. It's worked so well, why not try it on the other newbies?
When: This week
Where: Throughout Olympia, along several patrol routes
Warning(s): idk, maybe language and blood?


[It starts with an idea. Every great moment does, when two minds come together and realize that they can accomplish great deeds together. This is what had happened to Richard and Magnus some days ago. Now it was time for them to put that brainstorming effort to work. Since being assigned responsibility of the armory, Richard had been lending a hand in helping outfit and train some of the new recruits drawn in from the Olympian natives. They'd been young and keen lads who didn't entirely seem to grasp Richard's lessons, but they were still trying their hardest. And finally, after all the drills and strange parables of heroic valor, they were off on their first real patrols throughout the city. Richard had kindly volunteered to accompany them, even though he was very likely less equipped to do the job than they were.

Only once they were in the heart of the city did their real training begin, because Richard had enlisted the help of the swolest man he knew, a musclebound ginger with a brawny, hairy chest and an axe to match. He'd play the part of the violent criminal and give a chance to give the recruits some real hands on experience. Richard couldn't be more proud!]

OPEN PROMPT

[After some success(??) with the recruits, the two decide that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to help their fellow refugees who are equally new to the guards. It's a bit of a boring job, so something like this would surely spice things up and provide some motivation. So using his access to the patrol schedule, Richard has gone out to the city to join some of his fellow guards on their patrols all while a silent, lurking figure waits in the shadows... ready to strike.]

(tl;dr: fellow guards can have Richard show up on their normal patrols, only for Magnus to jump out and attack them! They're more than welcome to fight back and even beat up the poor guy! And yell at Richard too! It's for morale, right?)

Comments

[ruffboi]

[Oh, it's Lance! Perfect. He recognizes the kid from seeing him lost and out of his depth around the brothels, and now it turns out he's a guard of all things. This is exactly the type of recruit he had in mind when he started out this plan.

Magnus waits a little ways down the street while Richard and Lance chat, choosing a moment when Lance is paying more attention to Richard to start running. He bolts down the street.]

Sneak Attack!

[After screaming that, he jumps up on one of the carts set up and leaps from it, drawing his axe and holding it two handed above his head while he tries to jump directly onto Lance, as though he's planning to strike.]

[competing]

—Magnus?!

[ to the older man's credit, he truly had chosen the best time to ambush lance, whose attention had been so directed at richard that he barely had time to register the other man's presence, let alone actually react to it.

it's instinct that winds up kicking in at the last second, which coincidentally is the only second he's afforded. he sees a familiar face, registers it in confusion, but also notices the flash of a shiny, dangerous blade and —

he has just enough time to shove richard out of the way (even though he wasn't even in the line of fire to begin with). fortunately, he'd flung his own body along with the shove, so he narrowly avoids the axe to the skull. still, he doesn't think to scramble up or even reach for his weapon, instead just outright gawking at magnus. ]

What the heck's going on?!

[tummyflowers]

[Wow that was pretty impressive. Up until now, not a single person had even though to try to rescue Richard. He gets tossed to the side and is at first pretty upset about that because RUDE. But then he realizes how stupidly heroic that was. Incredible. He sits on the ground watching the confused Lance. It seems like Lance knows Magnus, though...]

Quick, you have to fight back! He's mad because I owe him money!

[ruffboi]

[Lance he wasn't going to bring his axe down on your sweet head, he was just pretending, so the movement of the axe was nowhere near the head. He's still holding it back behind him, threatening to strike but not striking.

But he breaks out in a grin when Lance shoves Richard to the side, though. That's what he's talking about! Lance might look like a wimpy kid but he has the heart of a stupid self destructive champion and Magnus is extremely proud. So proud that he's grinning like a lunatic, and clearly loses the plot of this sneak attack, only remembering when Richard speaks.]

Uh, yeah. No offense, but I'm killing Richard because he owes me money. Unless you stop me? Why don't you show me what you've got! Or else, like I said, I'm killing Richard to death.

[competing]

[ lance looks between richard and magnus, feeling some of his panic start to ebb, or at the very least his racing heart start to slow. the tension in the air, too, seems to stall and stutter somewhat. something doesn't exactly add up here...

he looks to richard, arching a brow. ]

Why don't you just pay him back the money you owe?

[ don't be that kind of bro, bro... ]

[tummyflowers]

[Oh good, Magnus was going along with it. This could still work. This kid might get the lesson he really needed! But Richard had to think fast. Why couldn't he pay back Magnus with this imaginary money?]

Oh, well, I spent it all! [On what!? What did kids like Lance even like? Oh! OH! He knew!] On Children's Card Games!

[Whew. Knowing Yusei came in handy after all!]

[ruffboi]

It's too late for that now! I have to make an example of him. Or else no one will pay me back.

[But now he's kind of standing there awkwardly, since Lance isn't rushing to stop him or anything. Hmm. Oh. He knows a cool thing to do.]

You're got to the count of ten to get out of here, Lance. This is between men. Ten! Nine! Eight!

[competing]

[ when magnus starts counting, lance's instincts start to kick in. and no, it's the "oh shoot this guy means serious business, i definitely gotta watch my back!" kind of instinct, but rather that "ohno teacher/mom/authority figure is counting down I'M GONNA GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE"

so he finally rises to his feet, slowly, hands out in a universally placating gesture. ]

Alright, dude, calm down... We should talk this out, you know? It's just money. You don't wanna go slicing people up over money. It'd make the Royal Guard look bad, you know? Also, I'd have to arrest you, and that'll be real awkward for our friendship.

[tummyflowers]

Lance, there's no talking out of this one! My very life is on the line here!

[And that's when Richard must employ his most quintessential of powers... the power of song! He stands up and leans up behind Lance, placing a hand on either shoulder. Somewhere, it almost seems like there's a musical beat starting to play. It's slow, a bit dark, and the perfect kind of atmosphere for a cryptic sing along.]

♫ Seven. Six. Five! I want to stay alive!
But this big brute, with his chiseled... glute?
will fight with haste, beat me into paste
unless you can punch him in the faaaace! ♫

[Richard looks to Magnus now, subconsciously transmitting his new power to allow one additional person sing along with him and harness the power of impromptu musicals!]

[ruffboi]

[A lot of emotions pass over Magnus' face while Richard starts singing. Surprise? Confusion? Even...delight? This isn't how he saw the guard training exercise going at all, but he's up for it. He's even already trying to think of the next verse in his head as Richard sings. Are there even any words that rhyme with axe? But somehow, when Richard nods at him, the words just come to him.

Magnus slowly creeps forward as he sings.]

♫ Five. Four. Three. Two.
No time for talk, now it's all up to you!
This count is winding down, to a bloody end.
Lance! Are you a guard? Are you even a friend?♫

[And now that he's approached, he's twirling his axe like it's a baton.]

This man...you must defend!

[competing]

[ what.






no seriously, what. ]

Are you guys crazy??

[ oh... oh wait, no.... what's happening, it's bubbling in the back of his throat before he can even think to stop it— ]

♫ That rhyming's just lazy! ♫

[ THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN HIS LIFE ]

♫ You say we can't talk
But your song's run amok!
Am I really a friend
Or just a means to an end
Look I don't wanna fight
You're both clearly alright
If it's a bet that you've made then you've
One! ♫

[tummyflowers]

[Oh wow. Richard was so used to people not singing with him, that he's only a little astonished that it's happened again. This is wonderful! A real breakthrough! He grins, proud of his two fellow singers. They even have decent voices. I mean, they're no Richard, but they're doing well.

He comes behind Lance, taking him by the shoulders as he steers him towards Magnus.]

♫ Now we're down to Zero, so what's it going to be?
You think it's a jape? Really? Does that sound like me?
I'm Kind Richard, but don't be fooled by my name
I totally duped him, so yeah, I'm the one to blame.

But you're a guard, Lance, so enough with your sass
You have to fight back now or he's going to kick my- ♫

[He is interrupted before he can even say the implied final word there, because that's just how songs work. You always gotta play coy with the network censors.]

[ruffboi]

Ass!

[He's interrupting Richard just to loudly shout 'ass'. But having actually gotten in striking range, and his countdown having hit zero, he's having second thoughts. Lance is a good kid! He's done okay. He's starting to have second thoughts about this plan. And by second thoughts, he means a second verse.]

♫ And that's the countdown, and that should end this song,
But for the first time, I wonder, might this all be wrong?
We both knew friend and end would rhyme,
But the friendship is real unlike this crime --

Damn it, Richard, he's passed the test.
Even if he can't spar with the best of the best. ♫

[competing]

♫ Yeah, it's like Magnus says I can't — waitaminute
Do you mean all along I just had to win it?
This is nuts! You should've just said so
All long, I could've stopped this from the get-go ♫

[ and he cuts off, sparing just a glance to look around. then he's reaching for the rifle strapped to his back, pulling it over to aim right at magnus...

then he moves straight up, aiming instead for the banner advertising free samples. one shot, and two, and the banner it release from the strings holding it up, flapping down down down till it falls right over magnus.

not... quite the flashiest display as far as spars go. but lance knows what he's doing! ]

♫ If you wanna train me just take me under your wing
Though dude, what the heck, how're you making me sing? ♫

[tummyflowers]

[Oh. That was rather good, wasn't it? Richard smiles approvingly and the music seems to just fade away.]

Oh, well, it was a little reward for good service. Though I do think we may have cheated a little, because they were a bit more stringent on the limitations than how things just went. But ah, I won't tell if you guys don't.

[Like, one of these two wasn't supposed to be singing along! But is Richard gonna call that out? Hell no. This is what normal living looks like for Richard.]

But well done with the banner. You okay over there, Magnus?

[ruffboi]

[Pulling the banner off his head, where it fell on him. It's more of an inconvenience than anything, but he still struggles a little like a dog that had a blanket thrown on him. He manages to poke his head out from under it, and he has a big grin.]

Hey! Not bad! You're a real good shot!

[competing]

( ooc; apologies for the wait, guys! rl kind of got away from me there... )


[ lance's sour mood is... mollified pretty considerably under the men's combined praises, as flattery will get you everywhere when it comes to lancey lance, but he still musters enough to give magnus a dry look. ]

What's the big deal, anyway? Were you testing me or something?

[tummyflowers]

Oh yes and you did quite well! Definitely a pass. And may I just say you have quite the pair of pipes? Simply lovely.

[And so did Richard! And Magnus was there too.]