nysalogs | closed | finally enough mirrors for all the beautiful hair

[Aside from nearly sink her marriage and die because of a miscarriage? Claire makes a show of considering this question, brushing away the morbid response in the back of her mind.]

What do you think I did? I'd like to hear that.

Honestly, there's no telling. But I'd be willing to bet that whatever you were doing, you were helping people in some way. And also trying to stop what Bonny Prince Charlie wanted to start.

[ Bree looks at her curiously. ]

Women, even in France, weren't called on as doctors then. But you would have found a way.

By means of a charity hospital, run by nuns.

[Claire smiles. Good job, Bree. Paris was miserable, for the most part, but she did enjoy her time working there.]

[ Bree smiles, proud of herself, thinking about her mother volunteering, her father running a business and they were safe. There was nothing to fight, and with that realization, she looks at her mother again. ]

Why did you leave?

Well [she begins, piecing together a story quite quickly that doesn't involve mention of Faith], Jamie was in the Bastille, and I needed to get him out. I met with the king. He agreed to help us, but Jamie had to leave France immediately. He'd broken a royal decree by dueling, and that's what got him into the Bastille in the first place. So, we had to go back home.

But it was time. We both missed Scotland. He was able to go with the price lifted from his head, at least for a while.

[Until the prince volunteered him for his cause and got them into trouble with the English all over again.]

[ Bree nods, then she can't help but smirk, looking at her mother wryly. ]

Does he ever go that long without a price on his head?

[Claire looks up at the ceiling, as if in thought.

This might take a while.]

Wow. That bad, huh?

[ Bree raises an eyebrow. ]

And you liked that kind of life? I mean, I realize you love him, but that must be nerve-wracking at the very least, to have a husband who's constantly wanted by the law.

I never liked that he was an outlaw. I never thought it was charming in any way, like some bloody romance novel. It was awful. He could never just be. He always had to be looking over his shoulder. And because of that, I did, too. He suffered the most for it, always did, but it was no easy thing for me, either.

[Then again...]

But... if he never had a price on his head, it's likely I never would have married him. He'd be the perfect eligible bachelor. But, as it was, no father would ever let their daughter marry a man with a price on his head. Lucky me.

Hmmm, so really, I should have a lot of leeway when it comes to the boys I date. I mean, considering.

[ She smirks and then lets out a breath, comfortable in the conversation and crossing her legs now under her body. ]

I want to ask you so many questions. You say things and I think of other little details I want to know about. But then I think if he ever does come out of stasis again, every story he wants to tell shouldn't be something I've already heard.

[ But then, maybe he'll never come out of stasis, so where does that leave her, really? ]

[Claire just fixes Bree with The Look. The one that says she knows she's trying to be funny, but it's really not that funny. It softens quickly, however. She likes that Bree wants to know things. It's a far cry from when she shut her down entirely.]

I don't know if Jamie and I would tell you the same things. Really, Bree. It's all right to ask me your questions. He'd want you to get answers.

[ There's been a lot of time for growth, for curiosity. And the dozens of different conversations she's had that opened her eyes to all sorts of realities hasn't hurt. ]

When you knew it was all going to happen anyway, that you couldn't stop the Battle at Culloden, why didn't you both leave? He could have gone through the stones with you.

I tried to get him to leave, before it all began. He couldn't. Not without his sister, Ian, all his nieces and nephews, the people on his land he'd promised to protect as laird... it'd be impossible to uproot everyone, and he was too good a man to abandon them.

[Claire knew it was futile, no matter what they did.]

And he couldn't go through the stones, Bree. I tried that, too. He put a hand on them and nothing happened. It's only ever been me. Me, and Geillis. And... whoever else has the ability, somehow.

[And even then, they might not make it through. Someone was the owner to the screams she hears when she's near the damn stones.]

[ Bree looks down at her hands and thinks about that for a moment. Even if he could have gone through, he probably wouldn't have. ]

Does that ever...hurt?

[ She looks back up at Claire, a frown not showing up on her lips but on the way the center of her forehead creases. ]

That he wouldn't have gone with you even if he could? You're his wife and you were carrying his child. That's not more important than being laird?

[ Brianna understands that he had family, that he had a responsibility. But if she also understands right, even being on his own land was dangerous. Especially after Culloden. ]

Yes, but if he did anything else, he wouldn't be the man I married. I was angry with him for a long time after I came back through the stones. But he only did what he thought was best.

[And while Claire could adjust to his time with ease, she's not so sure he'd have such an easy time in hers.]

[ Bree nods quietly, thinking that through for a while and finally, coming to her own conclusion. ]

He couldn't save everyone, so he saved who he could.

[ Them. Sending Claire through the stones was all he could do, she realizes, that gave him peace in knowing someone was safe, at least. ]

Did daddy...believe you? About all of it, I mean. Obviously, he knew he wasn't my-- [ She trails off, trying to come up with a way to rephrase that. ] He knew there was someone else.

He said he did. I think at first he only said that to calm me. [He tried his best to brush it aside, reassure her what happened didn't matter, but it did. It mattered more than anything else in her life.]

Over time... I think he did truly believe some of it, if not the full story. But by then, I don't think he wanted to ask more about it and have it confirmed. It was... a lot.

[To put it lightly.]

I don't blame him, I guess.

[ Bree's quiet for a second, just thinking about all of that. He gave up so much, just to be her father when she needed one. It's not anything she's that upset about anymore, the lie her parents kept from her for so long. The more she tries to understand it, the more questions she asks, the easier it becomes.

That Jamie apparently believed her outright with no proof at all, enough to take her to the stones because he thought she could go back and be safe, is something Brianna will have to think about later. ]

Thank you. For letting me talk to you about this whenever it comes up. I know it can't always be easy for you.

[Claire reaches for one of her hands, to give it a firm squeeze.]

I kept it from you long enough. If I can give you answers now, I will. We've had enough secrets between us to last a lifetime.

Thank you, mama.

[ Bree hugs her again and this time rests her head on her shoulder. ]

I think for now I have enough. I'm just glad we can actually talk.

[ When she thought they'd never have the chance again, once. ]

And my room is...this is incredible. I have more room than I thought we could even get.

[ And by 'we' she means her mother, of course. ]

[Claire finds she's glad for this sort of affection afforded to them now. No secrets. No lies. It's easier, to be like this, and not feel guilt for it.]

So am I.

[She strokes her hair, idly.]

Jamie would have wanted you to have everything. And I think you have, for the most part.

Sending you through the stones - us, really - that was his way of making sure?

[ Bree's leaning into the touch, even if she doesn't realize it, not really. ]

It was. He never regretted that. Not at all.

[Even though he didn't die as planned, with how things were after Culloden, he couldn't promise either of them safety.]

I don't think I can blame him for it. He was a man of his time, after all.

[ Duty and honor and dying for a cause. Everything that goes into such a decision. ]

And you were happy when you found him again? Before all of this with stasis and the world ending, I guess. It felt right?

[ In other words, was she right when she said Jamie would still be just as in love based solely on the things Claire had said? ]

I was happy. It wasn't easy, finding our footing with one another again, but... I like to think we did. Jamie and I always worked well together, even before we were wed.

[It was just the twenty years gone past that made everything so complicated. They lived their lives. Became different people, in a sense, but then it was so easy to find the things she loved about him again.]

You were right.

[There. Officially confirmed.]

closed | finally enough mirrors for all the beautiful hair

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i see ur new icon!!

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