[ ACTIVE / SEMI-OPEN ]
Who: John Sheppard & various (& maybe you!)
What: Various Stages On The Grief Arc: An illustration of John Sheppard being a disaster
When: Mid to Late November & Early December maybe
Where: Olympia & Dranbu
Warning(s): Some arm injury gore in one thread!
1. OLYMPIA -- Mid November
John is pretty sure he looks a mess to anyone who knows him, but that's precisely why he's avoiding most people who know him.
He's called out of work to give himself a recovery buffer and is taking a walk with Seren, who is completely oblivious to his problems. Seren is still a puppy, and her excitement for everything in their surroundings and for him to play with her is a good distraction -- even if he wishes she understand the word 'chill' on occasion.
The little German Shepherd is starting to grow up quickly, though. She's smart, smart enough John suspects to know exactly when she's just ignoring John's instructions. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care. Off the leash, she's skipping ahead of him with her nose to the ground -- sniffing for traces of other dogs who might have come this way. At this time of day there aren't too many, mostly people, and although she mostly just runs up and down finding things then bringing them to John (or John to them) occasionally she gets curious and bounces toward another human. Either because they smell interesting or have something with them that smells interesting.
Seren shoots toward the new person and bounces curiously while John jogs to catch up, jacket loose and unzipped over his plaid shirt and jeans.
"Hey!" he prompts sharply, and the puppy stops and looks over at him. "We talked about this, manners!"
Apparently bouncing at people is not a good display of puppy manners.
2. DRANBU -- Late November/Early December (specify before or after people change back!)
After having pretty much been holed up in Olympia drowning his sorrows for most of the month, once he finally makes it out to Josa Forest (initially to help Ianto, but then staying to sate his curiosity about what's going on) John realises he does... feel better. He probably should have come out sooner to give himself something to do, instead of just skulking around avoiding everything, but hindsight is 20/20 and all that. At the time he hadn't felt like he wanted to do anything.
Once he's there, though, actually exploring Josa Forest again after his initial trip out with Phoenix helps take his mind off things. The tree villages are interesting, and John picks through them as much to satisfy his own curiosity as to give him a reason to be --
To be away from things that he's absolutely not avoiding but also, is avoiding.
The markets of Dranbu, he notices, are very animal-focused. So after a long moment picking through things he catches the attention of someone and hesitantly asked:
"Do you have anything for dogs...?"
They point him further a long and John lofts an eyebrow curiously, turning and padding in the direction he's been pointed -- bumping into someone near a different stand along the way and setting his good hand on them apologetically to steady them. The marketplace is busy and also, not designed with space in mind. He supposes that's what comes of not normally having this many visitors.
"Sorry," he says with a wince, and bends to try and pick up whatever it is he made them drop. "Here, let me --"
What: Various Stages On The Grief Arc: An illustration of John Sheppard being a disaster
When: Mid to Late November & Early December maybe
Where: Olympia & Dranbu
Warning(s): Some arm injury gore in one thread!
1. OLYMPIA -- Mid November
John is pretty sure he looks a mess to anyone who knows him, but that's precisely why he's avoiding most people who know him.
He's called out of work to give himself a recovery buffer and is taking a walk with Seren, who is completely oblivious to his problems. Seren is still a puppy, and her excitement for everything in their surroundings and for him to play with her is a good distraction -- even if he wishes she understand the word 'chill' on occasion.
The little German Shepherd is starting to grow up quickly, though. She's smart, smart enough John suspects to know exactly when she's just ignoring John's instructions. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care. Off the leash, she's skipping ahead of him with her nose to the ground -- sniffing for traces of other dogs who might have come this way. At this time of day there aren't too many, mostly people, and although she mostly just runs up and down finding things then bringing them to John (or John to them) occasionally she gets curious and bounces toward another human. Either because they smell interesting or have something with them that smells interesting.
Seren shoots toward the new person and bounces curiously while John jogs to catch up, jacket loose and unzipped over his plaid shirt and jeans.
"Hey!" he prompts sharply, and the puppy stops and looks over at him. "We talked about this, manners!"
Apparently bouncing at people is not a good display of puppy manners.
2. DRANBU -- Late November/Early December (specify before or after people change back!)
After having pretty much been holed up in Olympia drowning his sorrows for most of the month, once he finally makes it out to Josa Forest (initially to help Ianto, but then staying to sate his curiosity about what's going on) John realises he does... feel better. He probably should have come out sooner to give himself something to do, instead of just skulking around avoiding everything, but hindsight is 20/20 and all that. At the time he hadn't felt like he wanted to do anything.
Once he's there, though, actually exploring Josa Forest again after his initial trip out with Phoenix helps take his mind off things. The tree villages are interesting, and John picks through them as much to satisfy his own curiosity as to give him a reason to be --
To be away from things that he's absolutely not avoiding but also, is avoiding.
The markets of Dranbu, he notices, are very animal-focused. So after a long moment picking through things he catches the attention of someone and hesitantly asked:
"Do you have anything for dogs...?"
They point him further a long and John lofts an eyebrow curiously, turning and padding in the direction he's been pointed -- bumping into someone near a different stand along the way and setting his good hand on them apologetically to steady them. The marketplace is busy and also, not designed with space in mind. He supposes that's what comes of not normally having this many visitors.
"Sorry," he says with a wince, and bends to try and pick up whatever it is he made them drop. "Here, let me --"
no subject
"Just because you can take a hit, it doesn't make it any easier to watch, John," he says. Swallowing thickly before continuing, "It doesn't make it any easier to see you hurting. I appreciate that you protect me. I know that I need it, in some instances like today," he adds, a touch bitterly. "I'd never want you to be injured in doing so, and if I could spare you from it, I would."
He frowns softly, "I never do have much of a choice, though, do I?" He shakes his head slightly, not wanting to cause another disagreement, before continuing on. "I just need you to trust my choice in this," he says, tightening his arm around the other man's waist. "You don't need to protect me from this, John. And you certainly don't need to protect me from you."
no subject
John thinks: I'm much better at hurting people than I am at helping them some days.
And he thinks: But right now, I'm not protecting you. I'm protecting myself.
He keeps his eyes dropped to Ianto's knees, trying to work out what he wants to say. Or how he should even say it.
"I think," he says finally, "we should both get some sleep. My arm is still sore and everything's a little fuzzy. You know I'm not great at this stuff on a good day."
Let alone when his arm has recently been gnawed and he's exhausted. John sighs tiredly, sways himself to bump against Ianto again.
"Please," he adds, because he doesn't want to have this conversation like this. He's not in the best state for it, and he doesn't think Ianto really is either.
no subject
He glances over at the separate bed and feels immeasurably sad for the thought of having to separate himself to move to it again. But asking to stay makes him feel like a child, and short of John offering himself -- he supposes that that's his cue.
"Yeah, alright," he says softly. Lingering reluctantly where he sits. "I suppose I should..."
no subject
"Better for my arm," he points out softly, "means you won't bump into it, and I won't bump it into you."
It will be strictly John's fault if he rolls onto it, not anyone else. The last thing John needs is to damage it further at this point, when it's already sore enough to begin with.
no subject
"Yeah, alright," he repeats. He tightens his hand against the back of John's tshirt, taking in a breath and letting it out slowly before he nods and forces himself to stand. Uncertain how it is possible he could feel so tired and defeated -- and why? He had believed the other man's words in the forest. John had said he would do anything for him and he believes it. He'd do much the same for the other man in return. But the question is if he would let him. So far it's been an uphill battle.
"There's more of that medicine if you need it," he murmurs, crossing back over to his empty bed and shrugging out of his overshirt, hanging it over the end of the bed. Haphazardly shucking his jeans before crawling under the covers and pulling them up high over his head. Wondering if he'll be able to himself, with how his mind is spinning. Feeling rather like a spider trapped in its own web. All of this with John, everything with Jack, this journey to Dranbu, all of it a mess, and himself at the center, causing it all.
"Try to get some sleep then," he murmurs, rolling himself over and trying not to listen too hard to the sounds of the other man across the room.