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Who: Peggy Carter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
revlon) & Steve Rogers (starspangle)
What: Sad space dates.
When: Late Oct.
Where: Thesa Station.
Warning(s): ... schmoop.
[ It's been a long, hard time of it. Not nearly as grinding or as gruelling as the war β almost nothing can come close and that's the kind of perspective that helps her on most days. But the past few weeks have held a sort of helpless frustration that's overwhelming at worst and exhausting at best. The sudden evacuation of Olympia, the nearest thing to home they've had since crash landing on the isle, certainly didn't help. And neither does the heat and general lawlessness of Wyver.
Again, perspective. Again, the war. It's not bad. Peggy hasn't stayed in one place much longer than 19 months since 1940 so this isn't new. But there's only so much upheaval a body can take before it needs a break β or before it breaks, itself. Coupled with the grief of Bucky Barnes returning to stasis and the absence of a few other friends, gone unnoticed for however long in the chaos of the move and the illness running rampant, it's been... a lot. A lot for a woman trained to withstand all manner of stressors without giving in, a lot for a supersoldier who's prevented the end of the world on numerous occasions.
So they're getting the hell out. At least, for a little while. The Station, blessedly, is still open to them. Although Peggy's noticed they can only make the trip once a day. The plan is to visit the stasis unit and do a headcount, perhaps get a decent bite of food, and a breath of (recycled, processed) air that isn't heavy with humidity.
They're heading to the stasis unit now. Peggy's stomach still feels uneasy after the jump from Wyver to the Station so walking it off helps. It's colder up here than the surface and she slips her hand into Steve's rather than wrapping an arm around him for warmth. It's comfort that they both need, anyway. It's so quiet up here; a dull, electric hum that's easily dismissible compared to the wildlife below.
She doesn't have to speak very loudly for him to hear her soft inquiry: ]
Are you all right?
revlon) & Steve Rogers (starspangle) What: Sad space dates.
When: Late Oct.
Where: Thesa Station.
Warning(s): ... schmoop.
[ It's been a long, hard time of it. Not nearly as grinding or as gruelling as the war β almost nothing can come close and that's the kind of perspective that helps her on most days. But the past few weeks have held a sort of helpless frustration that's overwhelming at worst and exhausting at best. The sudden evacuation of Olympia, the nearest thing to home they've had since crash landing on the isle, certainly didn't help. And neither does the heat and general lawlessness of Wyver.
Again, perspective. Again, the war. It's not bad. Peggy hasn't stayed in one place much longer than 19 months since 1940 so this isn't new. But there's only so much upheaval a body can take before it needs a break β or before it breaks, itself. Coupled with the grief of Bucky Barnes returning to stasis and the absence of a few other friends, gone unnoticed for however long in the chaos of the move and the illness running rampant, it's been... a lot. A lot for a woman trained to withstand all manner of stressors without giving in, a lot for a supersoldier who's prevented the end of the world on numerous occasions.
So they're getting the hell out. At least, for a little while. The Station, blessedly, is still open to them. Although Peggy's noticed they can only make the trip once a day. The plan is to visit the stasis unit and do a headcount, perhaps get a decent bite of food, and a breath of (recycled, processed) air that isn't heavy with humidity.
They're heading to the stasis unit now. Peggy's stomach still feels uneasy after the jump from Wyver to the Station so walking it off helps. It's colder up here than the surface and she slips her hand into Steve's rather than wrapping an arm around him for warmth. It's comfort that they both need, anyway. It's so quiet up here; a dull, electric hum that's easily dismissible compared to the wildlife below.
She doesn't have to speak very loudly for him to hear her soft inquiry: ]
Are you all right?
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You don't survive what you have without picking up a few well-learned lessons about adapting to a new environment and indefinitely making it your own - but a break to regroup is a welcomed one, so he's glad to see this place, glad even (although that may not be the right choice of word) to have a chance to check on his friends, old and new.
And Bucky.
He needs to see Bucky.
Heading back to the stasis pods gives Steve a strange sense of deja vu, hovering over the line of familiar and unfamiliar, because it couldn't have been more than a few months since he'd woken up on this ship and told that his world and countless others had been destroyed into nothingness.
He'd met so many people from other universes and reconnected with the one person he'd always hoped to see again.
Steve takes Peggy's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. ]
Yeah. I will be. I never thought I'd say this but it's kind of nice to be back here.
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[ It had been their first introduction to this new life. They'd reunited here, a lingering and tight embrace in the vastness of space and time. It's strange that the station isn't 'home' as much as the surface has become, although that idea is a little tenuous these days.
She is so, so tired. And being up here is giving her a chance to just β breathe, a little. Away from whatever spies are in the Guard, the uncertainty of serving a woman who is a mystery to the people she commands, the close quarters they live in. ]
I think we both needed this. Even if the reason we're up here isn't a happy one. [ They're coming up to the stasis chamber now, and she takes a breath. ] Ready?
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He braces himself for the room they're about to enter and nods - quiet; thoughtful.
The doors slide open when they arrive, revealing rows upon rows of sleeping pods in a dimly lit room.
Here goes. ]
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Steve. [ It's quietly said, her hand tugging gently at his to draw his attention. Her voice doesn't waver, although it's certainly difficult to see Bucky like this, especially after he told her what became of him under Hydra's control. Was this any different? ] He's here.
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Maybe Bucky was awake, maybe Bucky was in hiding, maybe maybe maybe.
Somehow he feels like the truth of the situation, that Bucky had gone back into stasis, would only hurt more. He's not sure the guessing is any better though.
His hand squeezes Peggy's again. He swallows, and then lifts his chin to glimpse into the small window of the pod. ]
That's him, all right.
[ His expression is taut, his emotions heavy in his chest. He isn't sure what to feel. ]
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But Darma had promised to keep those she cared about safe. She's got to trust that's still true. ]
Take as much time as you need. [ Her voice is gentle, her hand sure in his. ] Give him a stern talking to if you like.
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But he's got no answers.
Steve is tired of having no answers.
Still. Bucky's here, he's (supposedly) alive, and he's safe. ]
Think that'll work?
[ Steve, too, is reminded of a time in London when he'd tried and failed to get himself drunk, the alcohol metabolizing too quickly for him to feel any of the effects. He'd felt so alone but he hadn't been - not really. He had Peggy then, and he has Peggy now.
He's never been more grateful for her, for her strength and her being here at all. Steve's mouth quirks into the faintest of smiles, almost teasing. ]
Never did work before.
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[ It's a joke, and it isn't. She's gotten cross with friends entirely out of worry for their own safety and heaven knows the scolding was just as much to show she cared as it was to put the fear of God into them. She's been on the receiving end of such lectures, too. From Mr Jarvis, from Daniel Sousa, from the Commandos after they lost Steve and Bucky.
Grief does strange, reckless things. ]
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[ Steve had been going for facetiousness in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Things are already grim and sad enough as they are, and seeing Bucky like this only brings back the traumatic memory of losing him all those years ago on the train holding Zola on board.
It's stupid, probably, but Steve's always been a little bit stupid when it comes to his best friend and his best girl. He's accepted this.
He looks up into Bucky's face again and shakes his head. ]
You always did have a little bit of a flair for dramatics, Buck. [ He speaks to the pod and it feels strange, but he continues. ] Leaving us, and going back to sleep.
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You'll have no one to blame but yourself when we get into trouble. [ It's teasingly said. ] No one else can keep us in check like you. But I suppose I'll have to take over until you wake back up. [ Peggy glances up at Steve, lips quirked. ] I promise.
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[ Steve glances between Peggy and then, once again, turns his attention back to the stasis unit and his friend's sleeping face.
His smile is slight but it feels heavy.
He's glad to have Peggy here right now, keeping him from wallowing too deeply in his sadness.
At least Bucky's okay. Asleep, sure, but he's okay. This isn't London. ]
New world, new rules. [ He shrugs. ] Hell, you'll be jealous for missing out.
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And we'll fill him in when he comes back. [ She sandwiches his hand between both of hers. ] Come on, Steve. We...
[ She notices a face just behind his shoulder, and frowns, drawing away from Steve to look closer at the pod. Her stomach drops when she recognises him. It's β ]
Oh, Edmund.
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[ Itβs been so long now since heβs heard that name, remembers (fondly) the young man with the friendly face and the friendly words. Theyβd spoken a handful of times, even went on a fishing trip into a magical lagoon once, and Steve always had nothing but good things to say about him.
To see him now, like this β it makes his blood run a little cold. First Ava, then Bucky, now Edmund ... how many more will fade away from the planet to return here, asleep for who knows how long?
He places a hand on Peggyβs shoulder, squeezing gently.
His words are teasing, even when his voice is a little sad. ]
Speaking of troublemakers.
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[ She sounds utterly miserable about it, although somehow managing to keep her voice steady all the same. Maybe it's because she tries to inject a little more flatness into her voice to keep it that way. Peggy exhales, brows knit. ]
I was wondering why I hadn't heard from him in all the madness happening on the surface. I suppose I should have tried to check on him earlier.
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[ Steve's voice is quiet, contemplative, understanding. They've both lost a lot of people over the years, you'd think they'd get used to the feeling.
It never gets any easier, though. He suspects it never will. ]
If Bucky can wake up again one day, there's a chance Edmund will too. [ Something else occurs to him. ] His sister -
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Bloody hell. [ God, does she know what it's like to lose a brother. ] She likely already knows. If they lived together β
[ Peggy looks at Steve, expression soft. ]
I'd notice if you were gone in an instant.
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He doesn't have a whole lot of time to dwell on such thoughts, however, when Peggy directs his attention back to her. ]
I'd notice if you were gone, too. [ Of course he would. It would devastate him, knowing her more than he'd really ever had the chance to get to know her previously.
The words are out before he has a chance to reign them back in and bite his tongue: ] And I don't think I could bear losing you again.
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If I thought it was a promise I could keep, I'd say you shouldn't have to worry about that. But there are things beyond our control here, so I'm afraid all we can do is our best to keep that from happening. [ A pause, her thumb stroking over his cheekbone. ] And if you ever find me back here, know that I would never choose to leave you.
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[ Steve's voice is soft when he responds. He raises a hand to cover hers, lightly grasping at her fingers.
He leans in ever-so-slightly, (also) not to kiss her but to be in her space, to feel that closeness.
He breathes out. ]
I know. [ he repeats. ] Better not to worry about the day it could happen anyway, not when we're both here right now.
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[ There's a silence, comfortable. And then she inclines her head. ]
Let's not go back to the surface just yet. Find some food in the mess, take it somewhere private. Something of a date, peace and quiet. We've earned a bit of that, haven't we?
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[ He isn't ready to go back to El Nysa. He doesn't feel like he's really ready to leave this station, and the quietness it brings.
No responsibilities, no expectations, no interruptions.
Just him and Peggy. ]
And I've been craving an old fashioned American meal for weeks now.
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[ She smiles a little, looping her arm around his so they can walk out together. ]
I don't suppose you mean a hamburger and some fries? Maybe even a hot fudge sundae? That was always a treat. Even though I'm more of a pie girl, myself.
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[ Steve's smile widens, following her lead out the door, arm-in-arm. ]
Burgers, fries, sundaes, pie -- the whole nine yards of it.
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[ That famous supersoldier metabolism. ]
However did you manage off K-rations alone?