[ it hits him soon later that what he said was rude and insensitive. but hey, shinji never claimed to be a socially upstanding guy. which makes it even more incomprehensible that someone like her would... be with him, or that's what he's taking away from this, despite his misgivings. ]
... Why me?
[ he has a feeling he's treading on thin ice again, but it's hard to deal with uncertainty and confusion. ]
Before I answer this, I want to make sure that you actually want the answers. I can't take them back once I say them.
[ this is like a love confession, but it's ten times worse because this is the second time she would have to do it. it isn't like it bothers her to explain her feelings to shinji again, she'll happily do it all the time when given the chance.
but, she does want to make sure he's prepared for this. ]
[ her words stun him for a moment, because it's not like he could really fathom how serious it would be. he's not prepared for it, for whatever her answer might end up being. it sounds more serious than it should be, and maybe it is. maybe being with him was the worst choice she's ever made. that he could believe. ]
[ taking in a deep breath, she closes her eyes for a moment and then lets that breath out. ]
It's because I fell in love with you. Despite how you kept pushing me away, I did think that you have a charming personality and I fell for how you're a very kind-hearted person. You act all rough and mean, scary even, but I know that isn't the real you. [ there's a tiny smile as she thinks about their time together. ]
Strong, kind, caring, so selfless too... so many qualities that I grew to love and so that is why I picked you.
[ shinji doesn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. that's a lot of praise for someone like him, far more than he deserves, far more than what he actually is. once again he gets the feeling that minako is quite a bit delusional, and the only thing that he could believe from all that was the fact that he kept pushing her away.
well, he failed, obviously. ]
I ain't even the one you knew, right? Not... that I know how this alternate universes thing works.
[ he looks back at her and there's guilt, twisting across his features. the place where takaya's bullet entered his body feels like it's stinging, but he's just imagining it all. ]
... What an idiot. [ he says, about himself. ] Why'd I let you in, when I was gonna hurt you in the end?
You don't have the memories, but you're the same person.
[ she can't spot a single difference between the two. as far as she can tell, they're the exact same person. just meet a different version of her.
it's hard to hold back a giggle at his choice of words. ]
Let's just say... I'm stubborn. [ and not always in a good way. part of her feels bad for pushing shinjiro so much, but she did know he has (had) returned her feelings. ] And you never hurt me.
[ haru's face flashes before shinji's eyes and it feels like he's just been slapped. for good reason. he looks away from minako because he can't meet her eyes. because he'd kissed another girl when there's someone pining for him, loving him like she does. he could see himself falling for her, and the realization makes it that much worse.
logically, shinji knows he wasn't obligated towards anyone. guilt tears at him all the same. ]
You don't know that.
[ he'll have to tell her some day. not today though. he doesn't think he could handle that well, but then again, he doesn't think he will ever handle that well. ]
... Sorry, I don't really know what to do with this yet.
[ all she can do is shake her head. no matter how many times he says that he will or might hurt her, she doesn't believe it. he would never do it on purpose and that is what counts in her mind.
minako's famous, bright smile shines through and she leans forward a little. ]
Take your time, there's no rush.
I can be impatient sometimes, but I can also be patient. [ she doesn't want to rush this because it's a lot of new information no doubt. she just wants him to be happy, that's all. ]
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... Why me?
[ he has a feeling he's treading on thin ice again, but it's hard to deal with uncertainty and confusion. ]
Why not Aki or someone else?
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[ this is like a love confession, but it's ten times worse because this is the second time she would have to do it. it isn't like it bothers her to explain her feelings to shinji again, she'll happily do it all the time when given the chance.
but, she does want to make sure he's prepared for this. ]
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I asked. Go for it.
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It's because I fell in love with you. Despite how you kept pushing me away, I did think that you have a charming personality and I fell for how you're a very kind-hearted person. You act all rough and mean, scary even, but I know that isn't the real you. [ there's a tiny smile as she thinks about their time together. ]
Strong, kind, caring, so selfless too... so many qualities that I grew to love and so that is why I picked you.
no subject
well, he failed, obviously. ]
I ain't even the one you knew, right? Not... that I know how this alternate universes thing works.
[ he looks back at her and there's guilt, twisting across his features. the place where takaya's bullet entered his body feels like it's stinging, but he's just imagining it all. ]
... What an idiot. [ he says, about himself. ] Why'd I let you in, when I was gonna hurt you in the end?
no subject
[ she can't spot a single difference between the two. as far as she can tell, they're the exact same person. just meet a different version of her.
it's hard to hold back a giggle at his choice of words. ]
Let's just say... I'm stubborn. [ and not always in a good way. part of her feels bad for pushing shinjiro so much, but she did know he has (had) returned her feelings. ] And you never hurt me.
no subject
logically, shinji knows he wasn't obligated towards anyone. guilt tears at him all the same. ]
You don't know that.
[ he'll have to tell her some day. not today though. he doesn't think he could handle that well, but then again, he doesn't think he will ever handle that well. ]
... Sorry, I don't really know what to do with this yet.
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minako's famous, bright smile shines through and she leans forward a little. ]
Take your time, there's no rush.
I can be impatient sometimes, but I can also be patient. [ she doesn't want to rush this because it's a lot of new information no doubt. she just wants him to be happy, that's all. ]
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... You're too good for someone like me. You know that.
[ in the end he sighs, and instead of kissing her, pats her once more on the head. ]
Tell me you moved on after I... y'know.
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[ there's a faint smile and she closes her eyes, leaning into his touch just that little bit more for the sense of familiarity. ]
Seeing as how you were in a coma, I didn't really... I got closer to some people, but none of them could replace you.