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nysalogs2018-01-01 11:01 pm
milesedgelord) wrote in nysalogs2018-01-01 11:01 pm
[CLOSED]
Who: Miles Edgeworth (milesedgelord) & Phoenix Wright (objectionattorney)
What: Just some friends trying to sort out all the messy, feeling stuff that happened over the course of the last two months.
When: January 1st
Where: Shades Darker
Warning(s): None at the moment. Will update if needed.
[It wasn’t as if Miles was avoiding his childhood best friend, now turned lover, per se. It was mostly that it was easier to compartmentalize those ridiculously annoying feelings in a safe place so they couldn’t bother him while he had real work to do. On second thought, he was completely and utterly avoiding him. For the past few days, he had made a point to leave before Phoenix woke up and to (pretend to) fall asleep before he came home from work. It had fallen into a nice steady routine, and he didn't mind the extra cash from working overtime. He had needed to build up a nest egg after not really working as much over the last few months.
But ultimately those were all excuses. He knew they were. It wasn’t as if he was still a child and could just run away from all his worries. Underneath that were panicked thoughts that had bubbled to the surface of his mind now and again. Things like: "Miles you idiot. You slept with your best friend, twice even, and now everything is on fire and awkward and he probably is disgusted by you. Look at what you have done. This is a mess. He did his best during the days that followed to push them aside. Though it was becoming more and more apparent that he couldn’t avoid this forever. He was doing his friend a disservice by trying to run. He owed Phoenix much more than that.
Time to act his age and try and face the Truth, no matter what may be.
After his shift organizing samples for the Simwe Institute, he headed over to the red light district where his friend worked. He wasn’t going to allow himself to drag this out any further than was necessary. He took several deep breaths and squared his shoulders, trying to focus on his breathing and not on the thoughts that were circling around in his head. The environment was lively on a Monday night. His eyebrows furrowed and scanning the room for Phoenix as he made his way down into the club.
Was this a mistake?]
milesedgelord) & Phoenix Wright (objectionattorney) What: Just some friends trying to sort out all the messy, feeling stuff that happened over the course of the last two months.
When: January 1st
Where: Shades Darker
Warning(s): None at the moment. Will update if needed.
[It wasn’t as if Miles was avoiding his childhood best friend, now turned lover, per se. It was mostly that it was easier to compartmentalize those ridiculously annoying feelings in a safe place so they couldn’t bother him while he had real work to do. On second thought, he was completely and utterly avoiding him. For the past few days, he had made a point to leave before Phoenix woke up and to (pretend to) fall asleep before he came home from work. It had fallen into a nice steady routine, and he didn't mind the extra cash from working overtime. He had needed to build up a nest egg after not really working as much over the last few months.
But ultimately those were all excuses. He knew they were. It wasn’t as if he was still a child and could just run away from all his worries. Underneath that were panicked thoughts that had bubbled to the surface of his mind now and again. Things like: "Miles you idiot. You slept with your best friend, twice even, and now everything is on fire and awkward and he probably is disgusted by you. Look at what you have done. This is a mess. He did his best during the days that followed to push them aside. Though it was becoming more and more apparent that he couldn’t avoid this forever. He was doing his friend a disservice by trying to run. He owed Phoenix much more than that.
Time to act his age and try and face the Truth, no matter what may be.
After his shift organizing samples for the Simwe Institute, he headed over to the red light district where his friend worked. He wasn’t going to allow himself to drag this out any further than was necessary. He took several deep breaths and squared his shoulders, trying to focus on his breathing and not on the thoughts that were circling around in his head. The environment was lively on a Monday night. His eyebrows furrowed and scanning the room for Phoenix as he made his way down into the club.
Was this a mistake?]
no subject
That was not to say that he didn't wish to speak to Miles, he was just so physically and emotionally spent the past few times they've crossed paths that it was simply hard to bring up what had happened between them. And then every other time he was free Miles was either asleep or otherwise occupied himself.
So the last thing he expected was for Miles to come visit him at work out of the blue. Especially with how uptight the ex-prosecutor usually was.
Miles knew where he worked, but he didn't know what it was Phoenix did. Of course, it probably did not help that Phoenix passively mentioned something about bartending once or twice. But when Miles came in he would happen to notice that someone else is taking control of the bar, and Phoenix was no where to be found.
There was a very large, very exuberant crowd of people near the back of the bar though, just past the stage with the exotic dancers.]
no subject
He closed his eyes momentarily and took a few long deep breaths, Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. He could do this.
He approached the bar first, noting that Phoenix wasn't there. Was he off today? Or on break? His eyes darted nervously towards the stage at where the exotic dancers were... Could he? Possibly? His face flushed and he looked away. Nope, that was definitely not him and that woman was certainly far more naked than he would have liked to see anyone right now. He turned back to the bartender and ordered his drink. A black tea with a shot of bourbon to calm his nerves. He was certainly drinking more than he used to and that may have been a partial cause of everything.
Miles hesitated before asking the bartender if Phoenix was on shift today. The burly man hands him his drink and gestures towards the crowds, with a grunt. His heart sank a little at the prospect of having to cross the stage with all those thirsty people in front of it.
Okay. Miles, You're the chief prosecutor for god's sake! You've had to investigate in worse circumstances. He made his way through the crowds, careful not to look at the stage again, only to see what it was that people were so excited about.
And wouldn't you know it? It was Phoenix in the middle of what looked like an intense poker game, He guessed he was back to what he knew best. Though Miles was in no position to lecture him on the legality of professional gambling here. He watched his friend lover?! from the sidelines, noting the exuberance of the crowds. He waited patiently for the game to finish before approaching him.]
That certainly explains how you've managed to acquire a coffee machine, so fast.
[He stood in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, with his usual resting bitch face in place.]
no subject
So as his opponent attempted to bluff his way into a good hand, raising the stakes further, but Phoenix bluffed all the harder, doubling the bet between them in retaliation until the man before him caved and canceled the draw.
As their hands were revealed, go figure, Phoenix would have been the loser. And yet he lied to the point that he, as usual, simply outlasted his opponent.
That was right. It was easy to be calm here. This was his natural habitat. This was what he was good at.
There was not a single need to worry in his mind, that was, until a familiar voice came muttering in his ear from behind--]
A-AHHHH!!! MILES!!!
[Well crud.]
Ahahah? W-what are you doing here?!?
[Boy does Phoenix look ridiculous right now. What with his strained brows and his over stretched out grin.]
no subject
Why do you look like a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar Phoenix?
He shook his head slightly before beginning again.]
Are you off soon? I believe we need to have an..er.. private conversation.
[Was that too direct? How did one handle this sort of situation in a way that was not awkward?]
no subject
[Oh boy, why did that sentence make the pit of his stomach drop somewhat? Truth be told there were certain things that he wished to approach Miles about for some time now. Most of it regarding what had been going between them over the past couple of months. But complicated situations were hard to approach and Miles had been absolutely avoidant as of recently.
Of course Phoenix had a pretty sure idea as to why, but that was what made it all the more surprising that Miles had shown up to his job of all places.]
A-alright. I mean, that was the last game for the night I think since it's near closing hours. Did you want a drink or something?
[Might as well make the atmosphere between them a little more comfortable if they were going to finally have this talk.]
no subject
[He was certainly nervous about this and his anxiety was apparent in the way he carried himself, with one hand clutching his other sleeve.]
I... think it may be best to pass on the drink considering...
[He trailed off. Considering what he had the done with his friend the last few times he had been under the influence of alcohol. The last thing he needed right now was to wake up to the awkward escape out of their shared living quarters after another questionable night.
Okay take a deep breath Miles.]
I haven't eaten dinner yet. Would you accept joining me?
[Perhaps a quiet restaurant setting would be better than here.]
no subject
Like, going out and eating? Together? At a restaurant? Just the two of them?
Was miles asking him out on a date?]
Oh! Um! [Clears throat.] Sure! [Voice cracks.] That is-- Yeah! Ahah! Uh...
[Okay Phoenix! Breathe! Control your emotions... and...
Pausing, he looked up, making direct eye contact.]
I would be happy to go have dinner with you Miles.
I'm sorry he is so very awkward.
No this is what adults did. They talked through difficult things like this. It was your job to argue your case, Miles, you got this. He took a deep breath before replying.]
Wonderful. I shall step outside and wait for you as you get ready, in that case.
[Not that he wouldn't mind a breath air away from this clustered environment. His posture was a bit stiff and his genuine discomfort at being surrounded by so many people.]
I'll meet you at the front Wright. Don't make me wait too long.
[Okay that sounded much harsher than he had meant it to. He tried again softer this time.]
I'll be waiting...
[He then turned around and rushed out, making a beeline to the exit. Did he basically say the same thing in three different ways? Yup. He was so very eloquent after all.]
Are you really though?
[Phoenix was left with a somewhat stunned expression as Miles walked off, a light blush coming to his cheeks as he watched the other turn face and slowly make his way out of the bar. He was repetitive sure, but Pheonix merely put it up to the thought that Miles was nervous in approaching him and asking him such a bold question.
And then it fully hit him.
A date! He was going on an impromptu date with Miles! How surreal. Of course there was the whole other issue that there was someone else after him at the same time but, how could he turn down Miles of all people?
Standing up he was quick to say goodbye to the barkeep as well as his boss as he grabbed his jacket from the employees room and rushed out to the front door. Practically running into Miles during his attempt to meet up with him.]
Ah! Miles! Um! I'm here! Sorry for the wait.
[It took you .02 seconds to make a bolt for the door Phoenix, there was no wait.]
No. Not really.
He had closed his eyes and took several deep breaths in order to compose himself before Phoenix came out, only to almost crash into him.]
Wright!
[There went trying to look composed. What, what was with that expression on his friend's face anyway? Miles regarded Phoenix rather suspiciously before continuing.]
Er...Are you ready to go? What did you feel like eating?
I thought so.
[It was a force of habit to automatically default to burgers. But now that he thought about it--]
... Do they even have burgers here? Never really thought about it. What if we end up inventing the hamburger?
[He was inwardly panicking. And because of the pace his mind was circling all he could mutter up were stupid conversation starters.
Dear god how was he mucking this all up that badly? They haven't even officially started the date yet.]
That is! Unless you want to get something nice? I suppose we could do that too.
[Can he die? Just let him die here please. Phoenix Wright chooses death.]
no subject
Well, ground meat and bread seem to be fairly common so I doubt we can invent the burger. Did you have a business venture in mind?
[Miles looked down in thought. Even though he had started working he wasn't in a place where he was comfortable enough to spend a lot of money on food.]
There is a small place in the Market district. It's not fancy or anything but I believe the food there will cater to your carnivorous tastes. I believe they have a spiced kebab set that is really quite good if a little greasy. Does the sound of that appeal to you?
[Food was a nice safe topic to converse over. He could do this. It was the other matter that was truly difficult. He shuffled a bit nervously and adjusted his glasses.]
no subject
[He's started up more than enough business endeavors during his life to add another one to his repertoire. He's good sticking with what he knows already.]
But yeah? Sure! A spicy kebabs sound great!
[And deliciously heartburn inducing. But he'll deal with those repercussions when they come.]
So you wanted to talk huh?
[No point in stalling right? They may as well enjoy a nice conversation as they make their way to the market,]
no subject
[Did Phoenix even know how to bake? He feels like he should know this.]
Wunderbar, They are really quite good.
[With food decided, Miles lead the way. The evening had cleared out the streets a little. And of course, it was a good enough time as any to talk about things. He let out a small nervous breath of air.]
Y-you and I had engaged in sexual intercourse, twice thus far and I think we should probably discuss this matter.
[There he said it. It was out in the open. Somehow when being discussed so seriously, the gravity of it weighed on him. He looked off to the side.]
I... er... would like to settle this matter before it takes too much of a toll on our friendship.
no subject
[No lie, the way Miles approached the subject had taken him completely off guard. His eyes wide and pupils narrowed as he paused his walking for a brief moment.
Ah. So he wanted to talk about that did he? Phoenix wasn't against the topic per-say, but he had noticed Miles was avoiding him more than usual. Was this the reason? Was it taking a toll on their friendship?
Did he mess up in agreeing to do this?]
Y-yeah. I mean. We did.
[Right. Continue walking Phoenix, your mind is spiraling in a stupid way when it shouldn't be. You're just talking about something that happened with Miles. Truth-be-told you've been meaning to speak with him about this for a while now, among other things. Now is the time to be open with how he felt.]
I mean, do you think it is? Currently taking a toll on us, I mean.
no subject
I...Am not very good with the more emotional aspect of things... as I'm certain that you know. I also know that I have a tendency to avoid things that skirt along that end of things.
And well...
I am afraid that I've been falling back into that bad habit. For that, I apologize if I've done things to strain our friendship. I find that my emotions tend towards the overwhelming at this time of year.
[He began walking again, thinking his words over before he spoke. There was a noticeable anxious tremble in his hands.]
My truth is that I enjoyed being with you, and the experience had brought about some feeling to resurface that I was attempting to avoid in the past.
no subject
[Phoenix's voice took a soft, sympathetic, tone as he spoke out. Of course he knew the Miles had been experiencing a rough season, what with his usual winter worries paired with the stress of knowing their home was gone and that they had to adjust to this new world. It was why Phoenix had initially dragged him out to the gala that winter.
Ah-- The was right... The gala... There really was quite a bit they needed to talk about wasn't there?]
You know it's mutual right? I mean, those feelings. At least, I think we share the same feelings.
[With that he reached out, lightly brushing his hand against Miles's. His eyes trying their best to meet the gaze of the other man.]
You are one of the most important people in my life Miles. Always have been.
no subject
I... I would hate to make an assumption. I mean regarding your feelings towards me. I just feel like we have covered so much ground in order to find a sort of equilibrium on our friendship...
This is new territory for me Phoenix.
[Hesitant, he bridged the small gap and squeezed Phoenix's hand in his own. His hand was still trembling a bit but he did his best to try and meet his gaze as well.]
I know. You are the same for me. Which is why all of this is terrifying.
What if we continue forward and things don't work...Or anything else that may happen. What if I lose your friendship?
no subject
[Poor guy. Phoenix could feel the tremble in his hand, and as much as the thought terrified him he knew now was the moment that he had to be his strongest. Miles at least deserved that much from him.]
You will never lose my friendship.
[His voice took a lower tone than usual, a tone which came out as determined as he would be if he were in court.]
I've chased after you, working so stupidly hard to get us to where we are today. Despite what we've been through, despite the trials and tribulations we had to face, we've made it this far. What would make you think a new found intimacy that didn't work out would ruin what we already have?
[Wow this was intense. He was doing everything in his power to keep his own tears from building up from the sheer emotion he felt.]
You're my best friend Miles, and one of the dearest people in my life.
no subject
It is because intimacy in itself is terrifying. Sex requires a sense of vulnerability that I hadn't really had the courage to face before. It was easier in many ways not to face it.
...You have seen my vulnerable countenance despite my years in trying to conceal it.
[Memories of those nights flashed in his mind, and a small blush spread across his face.]
Phoenix... I feel the same way. I will fight with you, regardless of circumstance. I worry about how that intimacy would change what we have. I know its probably ridiculous and probably not true. However, all of this in some ways... feels like a huge wave crashing over me and that lack of control on such a powerful feeling is untethering.
What mortifies me the most is how enjoyable I had found the experience of it.
[TLDR: Miles finds that he likes sex but is terrified of his boner.]
no subject
[It wasn't that Phoenix couldn't relate. Never in his dreams would he have imagined that him and Miles would have ended up in such an intimate situation. Even less had he considered the thought that Miles would continue to hold such strong and similar feelings for him. And yet here they were, standing in the middle of the road between the red light district and the theater district, enveloped in a conversation sounding more like something out of a soap opera than any normal evening chatter...]
Were you not expecting to enjoy it?
[What sort of though was that to have? He was expecting that they wouldn't like being intimate with each other? Then what would have been the point of being intimate at all?]
no subject
[Wow way to get cerebral Miles. He shook his head and looked up at him from the corner of his eyes.]
The truth is...
I never really saw myself as a particularly sexual creature. Sex in nature is so messy and with all the emotions involved, I wasn't sure if it was something that I would ever truly participate in.
Thus, I had filed my life in this sort of strict routine. It wasn't that I hadn't felt the urges or anything like that but I imagined that I was so loathed to feel the sort of vulnerability associated with sex that it would have been near impossible for me to find such a thing attainable in my busy schedule. But that in itself was an excuse I suppose.
As per usual, you seemed to have proved me wrong. You always do that Phoenix.
There were certain attractions towards you that I've ignored for years. Those nights just brought those previous yearnings to the light.
[He paused. Thinking his words through carefully before he spoke. It felt good in a way to let a lot of these feeling off his chest. Phoenix was after all one of the few people he trusted implicitly.]
Sex with you was utterly intoxicating, and I think I now understand firsthand what people wrote about, and I currently find it a bit difficult to control how very much I desire you.
no subject
Was Miles confessing his feelings towards him? Like... Directly telling him how he felt? The thought alone made his palms sweat. But the way Miles was looking at him was so intimate and intense that he couldn't help but end up locking eyes with him.]
Miles...
[His voice came out softer than he had expected as he said his childhood friends name. The impulse to reach out and just touch his hair or brush his fingers along his jaw hard to quell despite his knowing that now was not the time.]
It's normal, you know. These feelings that you have. Your, um, desires. I mean, we're both physically attracted to each other, I doubt either of us can lie about that... But there are emotional bonds that tie it together for us as well...
[Screw it. Go big or go home. That's the saying right? Who cares if he feels like he may collapse from nerves upon doing this.
Reaching out he took Miles hand into his, his expression growing determined as he refused to break others gaze.]
I've been attracted to you since you first stood up to me when we were kids! Physically since I saw that picture of you in the newspaper so many years ago! Your presence absolutely intoxicates me Miles!
[Wow... He said it... He didn't come off too strongly with his feelings did he?]
no subject
R-really?!
Phoenix...
[His voice was wrought and hoarse with emotion. His eyes tearing up.]
I-I've felt the same way since we were children, you were always so single-minded in everything you did and brave as well... I've repressed it for so many years. I am unaware when the physical sense had made itself known.
But I've felt this way for such a long time.
I-
Wait... did you say you were physically attracted to me after seeing a photo of me in the newspaper?
[For some reason the thought of Phoenix thinking of him in such a light was embarrassing as well.]
no subject
[Now That he finally said it out loud it did sound kind of strange.]
N-not that I was actively searching for a picture of you or anything! It's just that I happened to see your name when looking through the paper one day, and then I saw you, and... I don't know, I just was surprised at how dashing you looked in the photos.
[And then he cut them out and put them in his scrapbook to look at until he finally got to meet you again.]
You still do, even now...
[He's not blushing, you're blushing.]
But it's good. I mean, I'm relieved, knowing that you feel the same way. I was kind of nervous thinking about it all this time, so I never thought to admit it. I just thought it would make things uncomfortable for you...
no subject
[He looked more embarrassed than anything else. He shifted shyly.]
Er... It's a little embarrassing to think about. That you were thinking of me in such a light just from my photo.
R-really?
I had believed for the longest time that you were only interested in women. I mean you and Larry really only talked about girls and I... well thought that I was not really one to stand a chance.
[He let out a breath of air in a soft huff.]
I. I'm relieved as well that you feel the same way. Um... would I perchance be able to hold your hand in that case?
I mean if you don't mind, that is.
no subject
S-sure! That is-- I don't see any harm in it.
[And with that he reached out, awkwardly brushing the back of his palm against Miles's. His fingers loosely hooking around the others. Taking a moment to let a nice comfortable silence form between them as they walked before continuing their conversation.]
So... You really thought I was straight huh?
no subject
[He worried slightly that his palms were sweating, but there was something really nice almost nostalgic about holding hands like this. His fingers settled into the touch, lacing themselves around his friend's. It felt like something they may have done as children. His free hand adjusted his glasses.]
Yeah. I mean. I honestly had thought you would have gotten together with Iris or something. I had no idea you were even interested in men.
no subject
I mean, I guess I could have. Dunno, what with her being in prison and how tense our past was, I'm not sure if it would have really worked out.... Not that I wouldn't have minded trying if the opportunity presented itself.
Still think she's hecka cute.
[Despite his verbal doting on past lovers though he was smirking as he looked over to Miles. Leaning in as he reached out and lightly poked the tips of Miles's nose with his index finger.]
You know. There's this magical word. Rarely spoken. A powerful word passed only between the sagest of minds. For if it spread carelessly surely all of society would crumble along with its misuse.
That word is 'bisexual'.
I'm bisexual Miles.
no subject
Well yes... [Iris was one of the few people who had seen right through him on their first meeting, but he wasn't about to tell Phoenix that.]
[That gesture earned him a trademarked Edgeworth scowl.]
Wow.
What a revelation! I had no idea that bisexual people existed Wright. Thank you for enlightening me.
[He shook his head with a small smile.]
...I'm not sure what I am. I don't really think about it much either way. I cannot say that if I had met a woman, that made me feel the way that you do I would have declined. I think its probably more about the person, I am attracted to than anything else.
no subject
[He says flatly. His expression dry despite his amusement.]
And you do not have to have it fully figured out yourself either. Sexual interests are complicated. And everyone feels things to different degrees with different preferences. That's okay. Especially when you're only just figuring yourself out.
[Didn't you just lose your virginity recently? No one expects you to be an expert on what you like with one tryst Miles.]
... But I'm actually more interested in what you said before that. If you don't mind us stepping back.
[Because... Wait. What?]