[ Angel was....hesitant about this meeting, to say the least, but Krieg and Zer0 had to learn that Tim was okay, more than okay. And Tim had to learn the same. She didn't feel great about not fully disclosing who exactly would be at their meeting place, but if she had told any of them beforehand that she'd be risking no shows at best, everyone coming in hostile with hidden (or not so hidden) weapons at worst. Hopefully, though there was bound to be some tension, the presence of cute mini-dragons would put them all in friendlier spirits.
She does a quick scan of the place, at least what she can see from the window (no Krieg or Zer0 in sight but they may be in the back,) before she turns to Tim, her initial escort to the dragon cafe ]
[All Tim knows right now is that he's going to the baby dragon cat cafe place, which sounds like the cutest thing. He's excited, he wants to get a drink and hug a house cat-sized nonthreatening lizard-- it's like his favorite nerdy things and his favorite cute things are colliding in a good way.]
[Krieg is not cute. Neither is Zer0.]
Great! And, um, thanks again for taking me with you. I've been dying to come here since you told me it's, you know, a thing.
[ Gosh Tim don't smile at her like that, it definitely is not helping to reduce the guilt she already feels over the whole matter. This is for the best she has to keep reminding herself. Strength in numbers, and all that-- it had been Tim who allowed her to start feeling comfortable with that idea in the first place. Now she was just...expanding upon it. ]
It- The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for coming with me.
[ Angel gently pushes open the cafe's door, causing the little bell above to ring and alert the staff and patrons of their presence. ]
[Welcome to the dragon cafe, please enjoy the giant buff shirtless man doing baby dragon curls in the baby dragon play area.
There are two baby dragons hanging on to his right hand and one larger baby dragon hanging on to his left. Each one is about as long as his whole forearm and the bigger one is definitely a little fatty. All of their tails and feet are wiggling minutely as they ride up and down and they really seem to be enjoying themselves.
Krieg is also pretty clearly having the time of his life. What a day to be alive!]
[Zer0 is not doing dragon curls, but he is lifting up another baby dragon that had been trying to climb up Krieg's leg and is depositing it on the Psycho's beefy muscle arm. It latches on like this is the best carnival ride ever and just kind of chills there, and Zer0 scoops up a second little dragon to drop onto Krieg's other beef arm. Gotta keep your weights even, know what I'm sayin? Otherwise Krieg would end up with a tiny arm and a beefy arm and that is the weirdest looking shit. Zer0 knows.
So yeah, that's what the horrible, terrifying Vault Hunters are up to right now.]
[Oh. Okay. So Tim takes like one step into the dragon-cat cafe and what should meet his unsuspecting eyes but this. Two of the vault hunters, standing in the middle of what is supposed to be his adorable sanctuary, doing bicep curls.]
[Tim shouldn't be surprised. He is, but he shouldn't be.]
Hm. [This is a thing. This is a thing and it's happening.] What in the actual fuck.
[He can't leave Angel behind to face the vault hunters alone, though, and, as much as he wants to, it would be super rude to just like pick her up and nope the fuck on out of there. He tugs on her sleeve and says in a low voice,]
Let's come back, um. Tomorrow. When the guy who wants to like eat my face isn't here?
[It's too late to retreat now, Timmy-boy, Krieg's spotted both you and Angel. While he's not exactly happy to see the doppelganger, the presence of so many baby dragons and now also Angel definitely makes up for it.]
Angel! Look at all the dragons!
[He stops with the bicep curls to spread out his arms to show off his collection. The babies all continue to cling to his rags and his armor, little legs and long tails still wiggling gently even though the nature of their ride has changed.]
[ She looks away from Time briefly to smile in Krieg's direction. She has to admit, as strange as the sight is, it's also very endearing. In a lower voice meant for Tim she says ]
[Zer0 has been too distracted by baby dragons and Krieg doing Krieg things to notice when Angel and Tim walk in, but he does turn to see them when Krieg calls out to Angel. He flashes a smiley at her, but it kind of fades slowly when he sees who's with her.
Oooh oh wait no it's just the other guy. He will refrain from whipping out a fork and stabbing him to death with it. For now. Besides, he's busy holding a baby dragon, and if he wanted to stab someone he'd have to put it down. Fuck that noise, this dragon is the best.]
[None of this is reassuring to him, Angel, but the vault hunters have definitely noticed him, so it's too late to back out now. They know he's here and thank God they seem more interested in the dragons than him. Which is #relatable, because Krieg bicep curling a bunch of tiny dragons is way cuter than it should be?]
[Tim sort of nervously raises a hand and wiggles his fingers at the vault hunters in a tiny greeting.]
Uh. Hi?
[Please don't fight him, Noodle Ninja and Abs McBeeferson. He just wants to pet the dragons.]
[ Perhaps the best way to approach this situation would be to act like this is all perfectly normal. Just a group of friends meeting up to watch one of them flex their beefy arms with baby dragon weights, nothing unusual about that! No gigantic elephant in the room accompanying them. With that in mind Angel walks over to Zer0 and Krieg's table, picking up a small dragon of her own and sitting down like this is all routine (though she's pretty exited to have a baby dragon in her lap.) and beckoning Tim to join her. ]
Please Tim, come and sit down. You aren't going to get bitten.
[ Does she mean the dragons or her vault hunter bros? The statement applies to both! ]
I am guessing you have all met each other already, but I thought it would be best if we all met up formally.
[Yeah, Tim, no one's going to bite you! No one human...shaped, anyway, see, look, Krieg and Zer0 are both wearing masks that completely prevent them from biting anyone!
Also, fighting or biting or peeling off faces would probably upset the babies, or the cafe staff, and no one wants that. So, Tim and his face are both safe for the time being.
In fact, especially considering his last encounter with the doppelganger was so dang awkward, Krieg will even go so far as to extend a baby dragon of friendship - it's the especially fat one hanging off his left hand. Here, Tim. Have a dragon.]
[Zer0 just kinda shakes his head a bit at the face pizza comment before grabbing the seat across from Angel. Honestly watching Krieg and Tim interact might end up being even more entertaining than the baby dragons. He's going to chat with Angel for a moment while he watches these losers.]
Oh yes, I've met him. / I dropped those fish guts on him, / I might have told you.
[Tim hesitantly steps up and takes the dangling fat dragon from Krieg. Thank you, Rip Beefsteak, Tim accepts your large catlike reptile in the name of friendship and no face pizza.]
[After he gets his Friendship Catdragon, Tim takes a seat next to Angel. He's holding the dragon to his chest like it's a baby, with the dragon's head looking out over his shoulder. It's kind of like holding Noodle, except scalier.
[He grimaces at Zer0, recalling the godawful mess that the vault hunter had made of him. God, he doesn't like fish much to begin with, nevertheless having fish guts all over him.]
[As the only one left standing, Krieg gathers up his remaining dragon weights into a dragon pile in his arms, and sits next to Zer0 with the dragon babies on his lap. Two of the bunch slither off his lap and onto the floor to find other means of entertainment since apparently the Psycho Curls are finished, but two remain, contented and curled up in a cute little dragon cuddle pile.
Look at this perfectly normal group of perfectly normal people, all sitting around a table together like perfectly normal friends--
--And then Zer0 says that, and Krieg turns to glare at him accusingly.]
[ While this is going better than expected (no one's like, died) dwelling on Tim's misfortune may not be the best conversation topic. In an effort to change it, Angel picks up the menu and begins flipping through. There's lots of little fancy deserts, lots of things she's heard of but never had the chance to try. The one that stands out most is a cake they drench in alcohol, which is then set on fire by one of the dragons. Everyone here likes fire right? This could be fun.
Since Krieg would likely get the best kick out of it, and since he's the one perpetuating the conversation about Tim's bad luck, she shows it first to him. ]
Check this out, it looks set it on fire right at your table.
But anyway, Zer0 places a and on his chest turns to Krieg, flashing him an apologetic " u_u " face. Sorry bro, next time he drops fish guts on someone, he will totally brag to Krieg about it. But yeah man totally get the on fire desert that won't end in something awful at all]
[But Angel is trying to direct their attention to something, so Tim's going to look at it. Because, you know, it'd be rude not to, and Tim's not a rude, fish gut dropping asshole. Unlike some people.]
Oh, that sounds cool. Do you want to get a couple of things and share?
[That way they could try a bunch of these little fancy dessert things.]
[ Sharing is good, great even! A solid step towards everyone being friends, or at least friendlier. Angel looks over the menu, past the fire-cake and to the large sundaes and pastries. Everything looks pretty expensive but ]
Please, everyone order what they think looks best. Tim and I...will put it on Jack's tab.
Krieg looks dutifully at the menu Angel presents to him, and his distraction from Tim's woes is immediate and complete with the introduction of immolated baked goods.]
Yes yes yesyesyesyes! I want the fire cake!
[There is no way this could end badly. And Handsome Jack is footing the bill? Hell yes, that's just icing on the fire cake!]
[Okay, so Tim's all for, like, making Jack's life difficult? Jack totally deserves everything that's coming to him. But he's also the one who has to deal with Jack when the guy gets pissy, and he prefers to have to deal with that trash can fire as little as possible.]
Let's not, uh, go overboard? Because I'm the one he's gonna yell at when he sees the bill.
[Tim shifts the fat dragon in his arms.]
And are you gonna take the helmet off? Because otherwise, how do you even eat anything?
[ Though she know's Tim will protest, whatever heat Jack may have for them regarding unapproved spending, Angel will make sure it's pointed in her direction. She knows while Jack's punishments for her are harsh, he will still take a softer hand to her than Tim.
She clears her throat, now's as good a time to get her intentions for this meeting out of the way than ever. ]
I didn't set up this get together as a means to put a dent in Jack's credit score- or at least that is not the only reason.
I thought it would be best if the four of us found some sense of camaraderie- considering our mutual...distaste for the man footing our bill.
[Well, shit. On the one hand, ordering everything on the page Zer0 indicated would be hilarious and also delicious. But on the other hand...would doing so upset Angel?
This is an intense moral dilemma that Krieg is not at all emotionally equipped to deal with.]
The enemy of my enemy is my awkward and uncomfortable acquaintance!
[That's not quite how the saying goes but whatever. Nobody's perfect. Look, Krieg's down to befriend anyone who hates Handsome Jack, even if it's a Jack clone.
...Or maybe especially if it's a Jack clone? The irony is delicious, just like he's sure the flaming cake is gonna be.]
[Zer0 doesn't answer Tim's question about his helmet, he just turns to stare at him. Because they are awkward and uncomfortable acquaintances now, thanks for that one Krieg.
But yeah the dork has a good point, we wouldn't want him getting into trouble with Jack for no reason, now would we? Zer0's mostly indifferent, but eh.]
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r3f4c70r3d) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nysalogs2018-01-20 02:17 pm
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She does a quick scan of the place, at least what she can see from the window (no Krieg or Zer0 in sight but they may be in the back,) before she turns to Tim, her initial escort to the dragon cafe ]
This seems to be the place.
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[Krieg is not cute. Neither is Zer0.]
Great! And, um, thanks again for taking me with you. I've been dying to come here since you told me it's, you know, a thing.
[Little does he know.]
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It- The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for coming with me.
[ Angel gently pushes open the cafe's door, causing the little bell above to ring and alert the staff and patrons of their presence. ]
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There are two baby dragons hanging on to his right hand and one larger baby dragon hanging on to his left. Each one is about as long as his whole forearm and the bigger one is definitely a little fatty. All of their tails and feet are wiggling minutely as they ride up and down and they really seem to be enjoying themselves.
Krieg is also pretty clearly having the time of his life. What a day to be alive!]
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So yeah, that's what the horrible, terrifying Vault Hunters are up to right now.]
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[Tim shouldn't be surprised. He is, but he shouldn't be.]
Hm. [This is a thing. This is a thing and it's happening.] What in the actual fuck.
[He can't leave Angel behind to face the vault hunters alone, though, and, as much as he wants to, it would be super rude to just like pick her up and nope the fuck on out of there. He tugs on her sleeve and says in a low voice,]
Let's come back, um. Tomorrow. When the guy who wants to like eat my face isn't here?
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He won't do that. Actually...I asked them to meet us here- er- meet me here. You are...a surprise addition.
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Angel! Look at all the dragons!
[He stops with the bicep curls to spread out his arms to show off his collection. The babies all continue to cling to his rags and his armor, little legs and long tails still wiggling gently even though the nature of their ride has changed.]
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I promise this will be okay.
[ Hopefully. ]
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Oooh oh wait no it's just the other guy. He will refrain from whipping out a fork and stabbing him to death with it. For now. Besides, he's busy holding a baby dragon, and if he wanted to stab someone he'd have to put it down. Fuck that noise, this dragon is the best.]
...Yo.
[yep]
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[Tim sort of nervously raises a hand and wiggles his fingers at the vault hunters in a tiny greeting.]
Uh. Hi?
[Please don't fight him, Noodle Ninja and Abs McBeeferson. He just wants to pet the dragons.]
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Please Tim, come and sit down. You aren't going to get bitten.
[ Does she mean the dragons or her vault hunter bros? The statement applies to both! ]
I am guessing you have all met each other already, but I thought it would be best if we all met up formally.
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Also, fighting or biting or peeling off faces would probably upset the babies, or the cafe staff, and no one wants that. So, Tim and his face are both safe for the time being.
In fact, especially considering his last encounter with the doppelganger was so dang awkward, Krieg will even go so far as to extend a baby dragon of friendship - it's the especially fat one hanging off his left hand. Here, Tim. Have a dragon.]
There's no face pizza today!
[Nailed it.]
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Oh yes, I've met him. / I dropped those fish guts on him, / I might have told you.
[funniest day ever, that was.]
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[After he gets his Friendship Catdragon, Tim takes a seat next to Angel. He's holding the dragon to his chest like it's a baby, with the dragon's head looking out over his shoulder. It's kind of like holding Noodle, except scalier.
[He grimaces at Zer0, recalling the godawful mess that the vault hunter had made of him. God, he doesn't like fish much to begin with, nevertheless having fish guts all over him.]
I reeked for days. Not cool.
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Look at this perfectly normal group of perfectly normal people, all sitting around a table together like perfectly normal friends--
--And then Zer0 says that, and Krieg turns to glare at him accusingly.]
You never told me!
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Since Krieg would likely get the best kick out of it, and since he's the one perpetuating the conversation about Tim's bad luck, she shows it first to him. ]
Check this out, it looks set it on fire right at your table.
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[Suck it up Tim you weenie GOD.
But anyway, Zer0 places a and on his chest turns to Krieg, flashing him an apologetic " u_u " face. Sorry bro, next time he drops fish guts on someone, he will totally brag to Krieg about it. But yeah man totally get the on fire desert that won't end in something awful at all]
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[You weird noodle-armed prick.]
[But Angel is trying to direct their attention to something, so Tim's going to look at it. Because, you know, it'd be rude not to, and Tim's not a rude, fish gut dropping asshole. Unlike some people.]
Oh, that sounds cool. Do you want to get a couple of things and share?
[That way they could try a bunch of these little fancy dessert things.]
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Please, everyone order what they think looks best. Tim and I...will put it on Jack's tab.
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Krieg looks dutifully at the menu Angel presents to him, and his distraction from Tim's woes is immediate and complete with the introduction of immolated baked goods.]
Yes yes yesyesyesyes! I want the fire cake!
[There is no way this could end badly. And Handsome Jack is footing the bill? Hell yes, that's just icing on the fire cake!]
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[Okay
okay
Zer0 hadn't planned on getting anything, but if this was going on Jack's tab? Time to be an asshole. He leans over to Krieg and points at his menu.]
Just get everything on this page.
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[Okay, so Tim's all for, like, making Jack's life difficult? Jack totally deserves everything that's coming to him. But he's also the one who has to deal with Jack when the guy gets pissy, and he prefers to have to deal with that trash can fire as little as possible.]
Let's not, uh, go overboard? Because I'm the one he's gonna yell at when he sees the bill.
[Tim shifts the fat dragon in his arms.]
And are you gonna take the helmet off? Because otherwise, how do you even eat anything?
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[ Though she know's Tim will protest, whatever heat Jack may have for them regarding unapproved spending, Angel will make sure it's pointed in her direction. She knows while Jack's punishments for her are harsh, he will still take a softer hand to her than Tim.
She clears her throat, now's as good a time to get her intentions for this meeting out of the way than ever. ]
I didn't set up this get together as a means to put a dent in Jack's credit score- or at least that is not the only reason.
I thought it would be best if the four of us found some sense of camaraderie- considering our mutual...distaste for the man footing our bill.
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This is an intense moral dilemma that Krieg is not at all emotionally equipped to deal with.]
The enemy of my enemy is my awkward and uncomfortable acquaintance!
[That's not quite how the saying goes but whatever. Nobody's perfect. Look, Krieg's down to befriend anyone who hates Handsome Jack, even if it's a Jack clone.
...Or maybe especially if it's a Jack clone? The irony is delicious, just like he's sure the flaming cake is gonna be.]
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But yeah the dork has a good point, we wouldn't want him getting into trouble with Jack for no reason, now would we? Zer0's mostly indifferent, but eh.]
Okay, maybe don't get that whole page.