nysalogs | CLOSED ♪ If only the clockworks could speak

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CLOSED ♪ If only the clockworks could speak

Who: Mephisto Pheles (

meinwaifu) & Mipha (

fisherwife)
What: Definitely not a love confession.
When: Early February
Where: The Sanctuary
Warning(s): None

[This was a long time coming.]

[If he had to pinpoint what moment inspired this change of heart, he'd probably choose the moment he realized Jae-ha had returned to stasis. That cold feeling of emptiness that still lingered in his chest only made him realize just how lonely it was, having no one to truly be himself around. Back home, with all his familiars around, he was never truly alone. Sure, there were some people he didn't bother to hold back with, but these were typically antagonistic relationships. He's never really felt something like this before-- a longing for sincere companionship, with someone who knew him for what he really was. Someone he could enjoy talking to without worrying about what image he's projecting.]

[This wouldn't be the first time he's revealed his identity to someone after playing one of his roles for so long, but it's certainly the first time he's felt genuinely nervous about it. After all, he's not telling her out of some strategic move to advance his plans or for the sake of shocking her... he just doesn't want to lie to her anymore.]

[But he still doesn't understand... why? Why should it matter whether he lies or not? When did she become so important to him? When did he start caring? It's such a foreign feeling, even now.]

[The last time he decided to pursue an unknown feeling like this, it only led to pain... would this be the same? He can only hope that his hunch isn't wrong. Even should Mipha spurn him away as a monster, he feels certain that she would still aid him if he were injured in the future. That's just the sort of person she is. And that makes her the perfect person to tell, even at the risk of losing another valuable ally.]

[He sent her a message earlier in the day, asking for an opportunity to speak with her later. It was important, he said, that these words be for her ears only. And as much as he would like to stay somewhere private, he knew somewhere familiar would be better -- and so the Sanctuary would do. Which is where he'll be once her shift ends, knocking on the frame of the open door of the private room she was waiting in.]

Lady Mipha?

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[No matter how confident one is in their life, there's nothing more concerning than getting a "we need to talk" sort of message. That it was something important, something for her ears only, didn't really help.

She'd pushed it out of her mind though, because her patients were more important, but as the end of the day neared she couldn't help it coming up in her mind more and more. She does her best to keep her cool, though she can't help jumping, heart pounding, at the knock on the door and his voice.]

Oh! [She looks up and turns from the minor organizing she'd been doing to keep herself busy. Despite Mipha's worry, it's good to see him, so there's no need to fake the warm smile that comes to her face at the sight of him.]

So formal! Is it that bad? [Bad enough news that he might feel the need to put distance between them in how he addresses her?? Or is she reading into this too much?]

I suppose that depends on how you look at it.

[No, it's definitely bad. But unlike Mipha, the smile he puts on is definitely forced, perfectly rehearsed, and giving no real sign that anything could be wrong. He walks in and makes sure the door is closed behind him before finding a spot to take a seat -- somewhere across from her, rather than next to her.]

[But once he's seated, he does start to look a bit troubled.]

I apologize for calling you out like this, but this isn't something I could simply bring up unexpected. Why... one of the reasons I'm here at all is because it's something I wanted you make sure you heard from me, and not someone else.

[Mipha doesn't move, following Mephisto with her eyes until he's seated.] It does sound serious. [She says it diplomatically, though her mind whirls with the possibilities. What had he done that someone else could rat on him for?]

Are you... In some sort of trouble?

Not quite, no. [But he might be, depending on how this goes.]

It's something more-- personal. Something I've been thinking of telling you for some time now. But I couldn't think of just how to bring it up. Especially after all this time... even though it hasn't been very long at all, considering everything that's happened these past months, it feels like I've known you for far longer.

[There's a strange feeling of unease and dread coiling in her stomach. She can't possibly know where this conversation is going, of course, but it sounds suspiciously like it's going in a direction she's not going to like.

I mean, it isn't, but at least not for the reasons she thinks it is. Though she looks a little puzzled, there's still a little smile on her face.] Yes, I agree. You've been a great friend, Mephisto... I'm glad we've been able to become closer...

You can tell me anything and I'll listen, of course, and do what I can to help.

[A great friend, huh. He can't help a soft laugh at that, almost tinged with an inexplicable bitterness. Has he really?]

...you're really too kind, you know. I wonder if that's why this is so difficult... as much as I know I need to tell you this, I'm worried about what you might think... whether you'll come to think of me in a different light-- ah, but I'm just stalling at this point, aren't I? I should just come out and say it.

[He straightens up in his seat, facing her head-on. And while he has no idea what she might be thinking this is about, it's surely to be different from anything she could be expecting.]

The truth is I've been lying to you. About who... and what I really am.

[Oh.

Well.

She looks a little surprised and then sort of laughs, letting out a breath.] I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you-- I'm laughing at myself. I thought-- Well, nevermind. [She definitely thought this was going to be like, a love confession, and then he'd pulled that rug out from under her. So she'll have to rethink all of this.

But it's a serious matter, she's not going to disrespect him by not taking it as such. She moves then to go take a seat herself. The fact that he'd been lying to her isn't... Really that hurtful. There are plenty of reasons one might want to hide themselves or make a new start by abandoning who they used to be and taking up a new name, a new life. This was a brand new world, after all, with all the possibilities of starting over.

...Though it sounded like this went a little beyond that. So she sits in the chair, folds her hands in her lap and looks at him with all the regal calmness befitting her royal station. She's a princess and this is probably a delicate, diplomatic situation. She's got this.] Alright. Continue, please.

[Okay, of all the reactions he could have anticipated, laughing was not one of them. What did she think he was going to say??]

[But for a moment, he feels the tension leave his shoulders, his expression one of muted surprise.]

[It doesn't last, but when he speaks again, his expression is softer.]

...I think you just took the wind out of my sails with that. But all right.

Mephisto Pheles isn't my real name. Nor is Johann Faust -- another name I've gone by both here and back home, for the better part of the last two hundred years.

[There's a sincere apology on her lips--she's sorry, really!--but maybe it's a good thing. The tension doesn't feel like you could cut it with a knife now, like there's a little bit of a chance to relax.

Only a little though, because while, again, a new name isn't that alarming or anything, the two hundred years thing does give her pause.] And I take it two hundred years isn't a normal lifespan for humans where you're from.

[Even one hundred years seemed to be pushing it for most humans, but in its own way this was a little bit of a test. She was giving him an opportunity to lie, to back out of telling the truth. In reality, she wouldn't be able to know for sure if it was a truth or a lie--she wasn't from his world, after all, so what did she know about how things work? But he wouldn't have brought it up at all if it wasn't something out of the ordinary, so if he goes back on that now... Yeah, she'll kind of know. And if she ran into anyone else from his world and asked about it, she'd know.

But. Still .The offer is there. A sort of "last chance to turn back, no questions asked" from her, and she watches him carefully.]

Edited 2018-02-02 06:54 (UTC)

[It's an offer she's given him before, though in vastly different contexts. The opportunity to keep the truth to himself, or let the topic fall to the wayside in favor of something less upsetting.]

[It's almost tempting to take it. To buckle down and recreate his story from scratch with a new bounty of lies -- just as he had with Yona just last month. But that would just make him a coward. What does he have to be so worried about?]

[With that thought in mind, his demeanor grows stronger, more assured of what he's saying.]

No, it is not. Because I am not human. Unlike the humans of your world, ours [He gestures up at his face.] have round ears and flat teeth. But that's not to say I'm not entirely human. You see, this body is human.

Or at least it was-- until I took it for myself centuries ago.

[There is, for a moment, something like pride in her expression and smile then, like he's chosen the right direction (he has) and she's proud of him for it (she is). But still--

For a moment she goes still. Took it for myself. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what that means, and despite Mipha's willful ignorance of a lot of Mephisto's shady characteristics, she's not stupid.

For a brief moment there's a sliver of reminder of Ganon and the old legends and rumors of possessing bodies through the years... Then she forcefully shoves that thought side. Mephsito ins't Calamity Ganon or Ganondorf and she can't start thinking of him as similar, lest she go down a rabbit hole she'd rather stay away from.

She wonders if the man was still alive when Mephisto had possessed him the first time. She decides she doesn't want to know.]

Is that... why it was so damaged when I healed you? [She assumes it's just from being a super old body though, not from the body being unable to handle his power or something.]

[It's a better reaction that he could have hoped for, really. He wishes he could see where her thoughts are going, what else she might be assuming or choosing not to ask... but this is just the first step, isn't it? Whatever she doesn't learn today, she may still learn later on.]

Not quite, no. But the amount of time since I took this body does play a role.

[And this is the part that gets a little complicated. Not everything he's told her has been a lie -- a lot of it was half-truths. Little variations of the real story to better suit the role he was playing here on Nysa.]

I wasn't lying when I told you about this condition of mine and how it affects my siblings. However, the cause is not a disease. Human bodies are simply not designed to last forever-- nor are they built to withstand the sheer amount of power that beings such as myself possess. Over time, they break down, forcing us to seek out new ones-- or else return to an existence of living without sight or touch... all those things your kind take for granted.

Were it not for this body, you and I wouldn't even be able to hold a conversation, let alone sit in the same room together like this.

[She sits back for a moment, taking that in. Whatever she doesn't ask now, she'll probably ask him later once she's done digesting it all; right now the goal is to just understand what she can.

There are a couple things she takes away from this already: 1. That this implies he hasn't sought to take another body for a couple centuries at least, and given the state his body was in when she'd healed him, it didn't seem like he was completely willing to bodysnatch on a whim. Despite the breaking down, he hadn't tried to switch to a new body immediately upon waking and getting down to the surface either. So either he couldn't do that anymore thanks to the people on the station (much like her ability to bring people back from the brink of death had been negated), or he wasn't willing to.

Either way, since she could heal up the damage so well on her own, as long as she was around he wouldn't need to do that anyhow, which was a comfort.

2. An existence living without sight or touch. Ah. When he puts it like that, she can't help but feel sympathy. It's not the same but she remembers being trapped in Ruta, the seemingly endless days of nothing and no one. It doesn't make the idea of possessing innocent people much better, but she also struggles to think of any kin of alternative. There are necessary evils in the world, she's aware of that, but...

Mipha releases a low breath, her smile a little weak and apologetic in the face of her silence.] I'm sorry, I'm taking it a little bit at a time to parse through it all and understand.

I... can understand why you do it, then, even if i can't say I approve. But... I don't feel like I can condemn you for it either. And I have a feeling this is barely scratching the surface of all you want to tell me.

So I... I will reserve judgement until I hear it all. I won't run away from it.

[He allows the silence to linger, pausing whenever he thinks it would be most appropriate to do so, giving her the time to digest it all. If he had simply wanted to tell her all of this to overwhelm and shock her, he wouldn't be choosing his words so carefully.]

[But there is one thing he's not holding back anymore -- his expressions. Although he usually made an attempt at keeping his expressions fairly neutral around her, save for when the mood might call for it, the look on his face now is slowly shifting, lips quirking up into a grin. As if he were enjoying this, watching her struggle with it -- and overcoming it.]

You're stronger than most... indeed, this is only the introduction. There's still quite a bit I'd like to tell you -- things I believe you deserve to know. Things you should know, if you are to make a fair assessment of the real me.

After all... I came here fully prepared to face the possibility that you may never wish to see or talk to me ever again. But that is a risk I'm willing to take. As much as I would like to think of us as close... it's been difficult for me to think of it that way when I've held you at such a distance until now.

And for some reason, even though it is the nature of my kind to indulge in lies and trickery... I felt as though I didn't want to lie to you anymore.

[He still hasn't actually said it outright, that he's a demon. But without the greater context of what it means to be a demon in his world, simply calling himself one would hold no meaning.]

[She wants to ask 'so what IS your kind?' Of course that's the first question to pop to mind, but the second one seems just as important to figure out right now.

So with a slight tilt of her head in curious interest she asks on simple (or maybe not) question:] Why?

[Why did he feel the need to tell her now? Was it simply a matter of trusting her more with the truth? Did he feel guilty somehow? 'For some reason,' he'd said, so maybe he doesn't really know either. Mipha pauses before she continues in a ore gentle tone.] It's alright if you don't know for sure. I'm just...curious, I suppose.

[It's a simple question. But she's right in assuming that he wasn't just being vague there for the sake of it. he actually stops and thinks about it, hand on his chin as he considers his answer. He's aiming for complete honesty here -- something he typically only offered his closest allies. And that group was always very small.]

Admittedly, much of my motivation was simply out of a desire to have more allies with whom I can be more honest around. Two of my closest allies returned to stasis last month, and those who remain awake from my world are not at all fond of me.

Considering your general disposition and what I've learned of you these past few months, I rationalized that you would be the least likely to spurn me away for lying about myself like this. And even if you did-- I can't see you refusing to give me aid if I became in need of it in the future. Though I suppose... that's not much of compliment, is it?

[Does he look a little troubled about it? Maybe a little? He doesn't really like that either, leaving it at just that. If he was simply looking for someone useful, he'd sooner seek out someone new with abilities similar to hers and foster a new connection, without the lies backing it up.]

...but as to why you are the one I don't want to lie to... I honestly don't know. Everything I've ever done, I've done because I wanted to do it. And I simply don't want to lie to you anymore.

Of course, demons like myself don't feel emotions in the same way other sentient beings do. Were it not for the fact that I've spent thousands of years living among humans, I imagine I wouldn't be able to put up such a believable act.

...not to say we don't have them at all. That would just be another lie.

[Despite herself Mipha finds herself laughing again in a sort of disbelief. Alright, she wasn't expecting quite such brutal honesty there.] I did ask, so... I suppose there are worse insults than being told I'm too altruistic.

...But you are correct. Regardless of what you tell me, I'll still help you should you need healing, to the fullest extent of my abilities. And... I won't break my promise about your brother either. [In case that was ever in question. She made the promise and she intends to uphold it. And she simply can't just not use her powers to heal if she can.

Besides. She reminds herself that despite what he might say, he has been a good friend to her. He implies at least some of what he does is just an act, but she remembers the crazed laughter when she'd healed him, and the tight way he'd hugged her when she promised to heal his brother. So she can feel confident in thinking that a good chunk of his interactions with her had been genuine.]

[Wait.]

...Demons...? [She knows what they are, at least in the context of her own world, and it's hard not to let those preconceived notions color this. But her mind again returns to Ganon and the legends around him--it?--and she frowns in concern.]

[She would still help Lucifer? He shouldn't be too surprised. He didn't exactly sugarcoat Lucifer's past when describing him to Mipha. And yet, to hear her say that, even now...]

[A strange twinge in his chest pulls his attention away, though he makes no move to acknowledge it. He only pauses, as if taking a moment to register that she spoke up again.]

...that's right. That is what I am. But I am not just any demon. Along with my siblings, we're known as the Ba'al: the 8 demon kings who rule over our homeworld of Gehenna, which sits parallel to Assiah -- the world of humans.

I myself am known as the King of Time -- the god who commands time itself, and the second most powerful demon in Gehenna. Though I've spent thousands of years living in Assiah, prior to that, you could say I've existed in some form or another since the dawn of time itself.

[A lot of new terms being thrown around, and her mind keeps turning around demon kings in her mind. Demon King. Ganon had been claimed as a Demon King, once upon a time. She glances at him, solemn and considering-- he's not Ganon. She tells herself that over an over. He's not Ganon. She has to remember that above all her prejudices.

A breath and she considers the rest of what he said. SO... significantly older than what she'd first thought, and definitely more so than even herself.

Mipha brings a hand up to cover her face, looking thoroughly embarrassed]

...And here I'd questioned you on if you were uncomfortable with our age difference, because I thought I was so much older than you... You must have been laughing at me the whole time.

...I was, yes. But seeing as I, too, had made an incorrect assumption about how old you were by your appearance alone, I think it's safe to say I was laughing at the both of us. Appearance means little when you are ageless... just as I'm sure you noticed when I showed you my brothers in Thesa station.

[Even calling themselves older and younger was a bit odd, seeing as they might have all existed as concepts since the beginning. But their relative strength and the order in which they incarnated likely played a role in that.]

Still, despite being a demon, it's worth mentioning that I hold no ill-will towards humanity. On the contrary-- I've always loved humans. They're fascinating to me, and I've spent the past two hundred years dedicating myself to protecting them from my own kind.

[Which still leaves a pretty damn big gap of time going unexplained. But he'll get to that.]

Despite what we have come to be called, not all demons are inherently malevolent. Some exist more as forces of nature than sentient beings, and many have even been worshipped as gods in the past-- myself included.

[And what about the time before those two hundred years, she wonders.

Still, she lowers her hands to her lap again, watching him quietly. Her first instinct is to be suspicious of that, but then she dismisses it as rather silly--if he'd intended to harm people, surely there would've been casualties by now. How does being here change things anyhow, if it does at all?

Mipha suspects Mephisto will keep talking, and she will question that time gap if he doesn't bring it up first, but in the meantime she simply nods to show she understands] I believe you. [Or, maybe she just wants to believe him. Either way, he's been honest as far as she can tell, so she has no reason to think he'd start lying now.]

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