nysalogs | pretend it's allura in the icon instead of hunk

[He's frozen, poised to release his boot unto the bug that was secreting stuff, because that's freakin' gross. Allura raises a good point; if he mars the ceiling in beetle blood, he won't be able to reach it to clean it? Maybe if they formed a totem pole he could, but that's a lot of damage control. It may even stain. Worse yet, what if they end up smelling skunky when they die?

Weird how all sorts of concerns crop up when it's brain over brawn.]

They won't fly out just because we open a window. [Though it's not a bad idea, and Keith's just assuming they're dumb. At least he's not assuming they're in the midst of a hostile takeover.] Don't we have a vacuum cleaner?

[He hasn't personally invested in one, but who...knows.]

[ beside them both, lance scoffs. ]

Bugs are bugs, all you gotta do is nudge them into a cup or something and you just toss 'em out, no problem.

[ he starts forward, of course doing so while not having actually taken a good look at these pair of bugs, and reaches out with that flashlight again to nudge keith aside. ]

Step aside, Keith, let a real man handle thi—

[ he says, just as he finally glances up at the pests, just as one of them (the larger, angrier-looking one) proceeds to let out the most obscene sound through one of its... whoopie openings. it's followed not too quickly by a puff of purple-grey smoke, prompting lance to yelp sharply and stagger right back into the other two. ]

Holy crow it's a killing machine, watch out!!

[Allura's about to argue that they can try to nudge them out when Lance, being Lance, interrupts to take matters into his own hands--

--thus making the situation probably worse than it already was.

she lets out a reactionary yelp the moment the bug fart/burps out another cloud of smoke, and Lance's reaction doesn't exactly help, and for a moment she dances on her tiptoes, clutching the front of her nightgown even more firmly.

one of the bugs falls from the ceiling to the ground, landing on its back and trying to right itself by wriggling all of its legs in a grotesque and helpless manner. grabbing the nearest thing she can find (a heavy, tome-like book), Allura, who had been the one who told Keith not to kill the bug, starts forward and mashes the book down on top of the bug, causing an audible cracking of its carapace.

she remains on the ground, holding the book down on top of it despite the fact that, as evidenced by the purple goo beginning to seep out, the bug is decidedly dead.]

You're making it worse! That's why I was handling it!

[The bug falls, unbeknownst to Keith, preoccupied with chiding Lance. It's only after Allura makes a grab n'dash; he's all but silent and frozen, watching in awe (and slight concern, because who even knows what these things are truly capable of, shut up Lance)...and wincing immediately as the bug meets a crunchy demise. He's certain the cracking was a thousand times louder than necessary, but that might have just been in his mind.

Someone should probably...thank her. He'll look to Lance for that (literally), then glare upward at the remaining bug, pointedly ignoring the bloody mess on the floor in favor of trying to figure out why the ceiling-bound one is now hissing.]

[ it's somehow sort of fitting that the only girl and princess of the group is the one actually taking matters into her own hands, completely sidelining both boys a little too caught up in their own stuff to be of any use.

lance, much like keith, is caught frozen at the sight, half-awe and half-horror because ohgod ohgod ohGOD it BLEEDS. but still, someone should say something, and for once lance is struggling with words. ]

Cheesus, Allura, that was...

[ he stops short, the hissing from that remaining bug growing louder and louder. slowly, he follows keith's line of sight, barely stifling another yelp at the sight of it. he staggers back again, hastily shifting behind keith, his new meat shield. ]

You... You don't think that was its husband or something... do you...

[Allura's too busy in the process of overkilling the bug to even notice any thanks (or lack thereof) directed towards her. Instead, she just grinds the book further against the bug, an obvious shudder running down her spine because she had felt that crunch and it was always the worst when it came to killing bugs.

She's clearly disturbed. Because bugs are disturbing. Thankfully the blood seems to be odorless. She looks up at the bug on the ceiling, still pressing down on the book
where the dead bug is now, no doubt, soup.]

Just do something about it!!

[ feel that shove against your back, keith? that's lance, who is totally not hiding behind you, coaxing you to take action.

you know.

that thing you love to do so much. ]

You heard the Princess. Do something.

Why would they be married?!

[There's a tinge of worry there. Maybe they were married? He can't vouch for alien insect culture. The bug clearly knows what just happened, by sight or sound or whatever and is unhappy...but luckily, not morphing into anything more menacing.

Which should always be a concern when dealing with hostile unfamiliars.]

I have to get it off the ce-- [There's a slight trip forward; HE'S ONLY WEARING ONE BOOT.] quit it!

[Why is the insect beginning to sound like this?]

Lance, [There's a pause, but not one that lasts for any sort of rebuttal.] go open a window...

Why me?!

[ because you're the only one who hasn't done anything useful yet, you boob.

despite his (whining) protest, lance uproots himself from his non-hiding spot, slowly and carefully making his way towards the nearby window. he moves sideways, like a crab, keeping his front to both the very-dead bug soup pooling around allura and the very-not-dead bug hovering threateningly over keith.

his hands fumble for the window behind him, slowly pushing it up—

he winces when it makes a sudden creaking noise, casting a hasty glance upwards but — fortunately, still no shapeshifting dangers to be seen. just a couple more inches, and it'll be fully opened—! ]

[BECAUSE ALLURA PUT YOU ON WINDOW DUTY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Lance is being ultra careful, which, by osmosis, is making him keep real still in the meantime. Maybe...it's vision is based on movement? Maybe it is going to transform and he'd rather not prompt it to do so any faster by moving when Lance hasn't got the window all the way open. If it does start doing anything suspicious, he does have his knife on him....

He's impatient and the window's mostly open. Okay. He'll abruptly fling the empty canister at the agitated bug after that sustained three-second pause. Contact's made, but the bug doesn't fall. It just goes quiet as the can clamors against the floor. He's hoverhanding his knife just in case, but...it just...looks stuck?]

This isn't working.

[Annnnd it's emitting an orange fog-like mist, this one less-opaque than the other. Like a freakin' smokescreen, or the makings of one.]

Ohmygod you did it.

[ he looks to keith like he's the actual ruiner of worlds, bringer of the apocalypse. ]

You've killed us! That's probably some toxic alien gas!

[ at least it isn't a space skunk... amirite.... ]

It's the same thing as before!

[Just yellowfartstuff. It's darker, yeah, but how many deadly functions can one dumb bug have? Black widows and similarly vicious bugs don't count. Nevermind that it's an alien bug with unknown functions which was the entire purpose of him being concerned in the first place.

It's just, once Lance starts complaining, his stance changes.]

Maybe -- it might be dead? [Squinting through the fartfog with a forearm covering his face.] It's not moving.

[Maybe he mushed it into the ceiling and it's now exiting this realm in the form of a death cloud.]

[ lance quiets, inching a little closer to get a better look. squinting up, he can sort of... see how keith might think it's dead. i mean it's not moving, for one thing. and it does look like it's just kind of. pressed there. ]

...Aww. That's sad.

[ ??? look don't ask him to make sense of this rollercoaster of emotions okay. HUSBAND AND WIFE BUGS ARE DEAD. what if they had kids... now they're orphans...!

also the gas isn't turning their skin green or making them vomit their guts out or anything... so not having that kind of panic is nice. ]

Edited 2017-08-25 00:55 (UTC)

[Is...it? The thing was a nuisance. It probably didn't even know it was killed, either. Keith spares a moment of mourning, looking from Lance to Allura, back and forth several times..and clears his throat.]

I'll boost you if you think you can scrape it off.

[If those bugs procreated, they're all in for more noisy-early mornings.]

[Meanwhile Allura finally lifts up the book she squashed the bug with as this back and forth between the two boys is going on, the dead and done creature stuck to the cover, leaving behind its guts on the ground.

So she just sets the book corpse-side up on a counter, nudging it near Keith and Lance's current situation, one hand over her mouth to keep from inhaling the gas, even if it's nothing dangerous.]

[ lance just gives keith a dry look. like he can trust the other boy won't "accidentally" drop him... ]

Or, I can boost the princess.

[ he turns towards allura eagerly. if he's gonna be doing some heavy (not that you're heavy, princess!) labor, he might as well try and make it as pleasant as possible!

for him, that is.

he laces his fingers between his knees, squatting down some. ]

Climb on, Allura! I gotcha.

Edited 2017-08-26 17:22 (UTC)

[she stares at him.

and then looks down at her nightgown.

then back at Lance.]

Why not give Keith a boost?

[For what it's worth, Keith's not bothered by the bugsquashed book. That can just be the thing they use to kill bugs from now on.

Not a good distraction from Lance's perversion. He's looking skeptically between them; where's Shiro when you need an intervention?]

Why are you making her scrape the bug off?

[Have her boost you...coward. Sissy. Not to say she's too prissy or incapable -- she did murder the first one, but how ungentlemanly can ya be.]

[ mAKING HER BOOST HIM IS EVEN MORE UNGENTLEMANLY?

ok you know what, fine, fun team bonding time is over. ]

Why doesn't Keith just get a chair and scrape it off himself since he made the mess in the first place?

[He doesn't know....he doesn't know that...]

[Holy quiznak you boys are just!!!

Allura sighs, LOUDLY, and taking the bug corpse book once more she comes between the two of them and the squashed ceiling bug, and with little preamble, begins to shift to a taller height so she's a good heads taller than both Keith and Lance.

Using the book and her ease of access, she barely has to reach up, and she scrapes the bug and its guts along with it, letting it fall to the floor.

Then she silently drops the book down on the floor primarily for dramatic effect, shrinks back to her normal height, and goes to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.]

[He'll watch it plop from the ceiling to the floor, quietly, comically quiet as Allura ends the entire argument in under a minute.]

[annnd she's gone.]

You pissed her off again.

[Lance.]

—Me? You're the one that couldn't even get rid of a bug properly!

[ technically, that's all of them. but he's dropping this conversation! (partly because he's losing) and rushing off after allura, simpering. ]

That was really cool, princess! You sure showed those bugs who's boss..! Heh.

[He'll just. Watch Lance skitter off and do that. He's got bugstuff to deal with, even still.

He'll take to a knee, pinch the insect's leg between his fore and thumb and...just...head to the bathroom to flush it into the sewers. Oyasumi bugdad(??).]

pretend it's allura in the icon instead of hunk

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