nysalogs | pretend it's allura in the icon instead of hunk

[It's first thing in the morning and Keith is wide awake. This fact isn't contrary to any other morning thus far (minus, maybe, his first/second day here. What a doozy), however, what is different is the blatant disregard for his roommates and their beauty rest.

The first loud thud was a boot hitting the wall (which, if the initial shock that he's barefoot isn't shocking enough, should be jarring). The second: an empty canister and a groan to follow (not including the hollow rolling noise as it crosses the bare floor).

He's trashing the house because, in the most anticlimactic twist ever, there's a bright green alien-bug treading the ceiling of their would-be living room area. A second joins it, a darker emerald variety which means absolutely nothing to him but: double the anger. Both of them appear to be winged, too. Quite the conundrum....]

[it's not that she NEEDS her beauty sleep, but Allura cannot say she's fond of being woken up to loud banging noises and scuffles this early in the morning.

so as Keith is thrashing about the house, Allura, still clad in a nightgown, with mussed up hair and sleep in her eyes, opens the door to her room.]

Just what in the known galaxies is going on??

[One of the bugs releases a cloud of lemon chiffon glitter-smoke from an orifice. Whether it's a fart, burp or something mysterious...Keith's all the more irate. For the record, it's front and back look identical.]

We've got bugs.

[Slightly muffled, as he's pulled the collar of his black shirt up and over his nose. It's not like he didn't have to contend with worse back at his cabin, but...

These are foreign bugs and they're being weird???]

[ funnily enough, allura's bedroom happens to be closest to the scene of the crime (or rather, the would-be crime, since allura and lance are obviously going to kill him). the room keith and lance share (which is really more an office space that just so happen to have a bunk bed inside it) is a little further down the hall, which is part of the reason lance arrives to the scene as late as he does (face still covered in a hydrating mask and his eyemask half-hanging off an ear). the other reason beng, of course, that unlike allura, lance needs his beauty sleep. ]

You woke us up for bugs?

[ there is a flashlight in his hand. not for actual light, even though the sun itself hasn't risenyet, but because it had beenthe first thing he could grab for a weapon his sudden shuffle to get out of the room and towards all the sounds of struggle. he holds it now towards keith, brandishing it still like a weapon. ]

What the heck are you even doing up??

[ are galra nocturnal... ]

[Oh, the whole family's here to bear witness to their budding infestation. Good. An impromptu meeting about it would've been in order, and since Keith has no leadership skills whatsoever, this is convenient.]

I didn't wake anybody up.

[--Intentionally. There's nothing apologetic about his rebuttal, not when it's Lance being critical of him. He's moving to recollect his two assault weapons, gearing up for another launch.]

Go back to bed, Lance. You're gonna get in the way.

[He's redirecting. LESS ABOUT HIM BEING AWAKE BEFORE DAWN WHILE UNEMPLOYED. Abort this family meeting.]

[ it's pretty much reflex at this point— ]

No I won't!

[ ................ ]

Get in the way of what?

[ because he still doesn't really understand what's going on here, why does keith only have one boot on? ]

The bugs!

[Followed by a wild gesture, using the combined power of his boot and that canister as upward indicators. The two bugs, by the way, look more like crabs with large antenna and have two ends that both look like a whoopee cushion opening -- that flappy bit.

He's talking with the same amount of patience as Cesar Millan would possess in regards two a herd of unruly Neapolitan Mastiffs. Which is to say: not much. Don't take it personally.........]

Bugs??

[The house is an echochamber at this point, and Allura is still not nearly awake for all this commotion for it to fully register. But upon seeing said bugs, which look more akin to something the Balmerans would eat than not, her face blanches and she just

Clutches the front of her nightgown for no reason other than for the universal understanding that grabbing your chest makes you feel safer when faced with something creepy crawly.

But even still...]

Keith! Don't kill them! You'll make a mess! [She's standing on her tiptoes as though that will keep them from crawling in her direction.] Lance just-- open a window or something!

[He's frozen, poised to release his boot unto the bug that was secreting stuff, because that's freakin' gross. Allura raises a good point; if he mars the ceiling in beetle blood, he won't be able to reach it to clean it? Maybe if they formed a totem pole he could, but that's a lot of damage control. It may even stain. Worse yet, what if they end up smelling skunky when they die?

Weird how all sorts of concerns crop up when it's brain over brawn.]

They won't fly out just because we open a window. [Though it's not a bad idea, and Keith's just assuming they're dumb. At least he's not assuming they're in the midst of a hostile takeover.] Don't we have a vacuum cleaner?

[He hasn't personally invested in one, but who...knows.]

[ beside them both, lance scoffs. ]

Bugs are bugs, all you gotta do is nudge them into a cup or something and you just toss 'em out, no problem.

[ he starts forward, of course doing so while not having actually taken a good look at these pair of bugs, and reaches out with that flashlight again to nudge keith aside. ]

Step aside, Keith, let a real man handle thi—

[ he says, just as he finally glances up at the pests, just as one of them (the larger, angrier-looking one) proceeds to let out the most obscene sound through one of its... whoopie openings. it's followed not too quickly by a puff of purple-grey smoke, prompting lance to yelp sharply and stagger right back into the other two. ]

Holy crow it's a killing machine, watch out!!

[Allura's about to argue that they can try to nudge them out when Lance, being Lance, interrupts to take matters into his own hands--

--thus making the situation probably worse than it already was.

she lets out a reactionary yelp the moment the bug fart/burps out another cloud of smoke, and Lance's reaction doesn't exactly help, and for a moment she dances on her tiptoes, clutching the front of her nightgown even more firmly.

one of the bugs falls from the ceiling to the ground, landing on its back and trying to right itself by wriggling all of its legs in a grotesque and helpless manner. grabbing the nearest thing she can find (a heavy, tome-like book), Allura, who had been the one who told Keith not to kill the bug, starts forward and mashes the book down on top of the bug, causing an audible cracking of its carapace.

she remains on the ground, holding the book down on top of it despite the fact that, as evidenced by the purple goo beginning to seep out, the bug is decidedly dead.]

You're making it worse! That's why I was handling it!

[The bug falls, unbeknownst to Keith, preoccupied with chiding Lance. It's only after Allura makes a grab n'dash; he's all but silent and frozen, watching in awe (and slight concern, because who even knows what these things are truly capable of, shut up Lance)...and wincing immediately as the bug meets a crunchy demise. He's certain the cracking was a thousand times louder than necessary, but that might have just been in his mind.

Someone should probably...thank her. He'll look to Lance for that (literally), then glare upward at the remaining bug, pointedly ignoring the bloody mess on the floor in favor of trying to figure out why the ceiling-bound one is now hissing.]

[ it's somehow sort of fitting that the only girl and princess of the group is the one actually taking matters into her own hands, completely sidelining both boys a little too caught up in their own stuff to be of any use.

lance, much like keith, is caught frozen at the sight, half-awe and half-horror because ohgod ohgod ohGOD it BLEEDS. but still, someone should say something, and for once lance is struggling with words. ]

Cheesus, Allura, that was...

[ he stops short, the hissing from that remaining bug growing louder and louder. slowly, he follows keith's line of sight, barely stifling another yelp at the sight of it. he staggers back again, hastily shifting behind keith, his new meat shield. ]

You... You don't think that was its husband or something... do you...

[Allura's too busy in the process of overkilling the bug to even notice any thanks (or lack thereof) directed towards her. Instead, she just grinds the book further against the bug, an obvious shudder running down her spine because she had felt that crunch and it was always the worst when it came to killing bugs.

She's clearly disturbed. Because bugs are disturbing. Thankfully the blood seems to be odorless. She looks up at the bug on the ceiling, still pressing down on the book
where the dead bug is now, no doubt, soup.]

Just do something about it!!

[ feel that shove against your back, keith? that's lance, who is totally not hiding behind you, coaxing you to take action.

you know.

that thing you love to do so much. ]

You heard the Princess. Do something.

Why would they be married?!

[There's a tinge of worry there. Maybe they were married? He can't vouch for alien insect culture. The bug clearly knows what just happened, by sight or sound or whatever and is unhappy...but luckily, not morphing into anything more menacing.

Which should always be a concern when dealing with hostile unfamiliars.]

I have to get it off the ce-- [There's a slight trip forward; HE'S ONLY WEARING ONE BOOT.] quit it!

[Why is the insect beginning to sound like this?]

Lance, [There's a pause, but not one that lasts for any sort of rebuttal.] go open a window...

Why me?!

[ because you're the only one who hasn't done anything useful yet, you boob.

despite his (whining) protest, lance uproots himself from his non-hiding spot, slowly and carefully making his way towards the nearby window. he moves sideways, like a crab, keeping his front to both the very-dead bug soup pooling around allura and the very-not-dead bug hovering threateningly over keith.

his hands fumble for the window behind him, slowly pushing it up—

he winces when it makes a sudden creaking noise, casting a hasty glance upwards but — fortunately, still no shapeshifting dangers to be seen. just a couple more inches, and it'll be fully opened—! ]

[BECAUSE ALLURA PUT YOU ON WINDOW DUTY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Lance is being ultra careful, which, by osmosis, is making him keep real still in the meantime. Maybe...it's vision is based on movement? Maybe it is going to transform and he'd rather not prompt it to do so any faster by moving when Lance hasn't got the window all the way open. If it does start doing anything suspicious, he does have his knife on him....

He's impatient and the window's mostly open. Okay. He'll abruptly fling the empty canister at the agitated bug after that sustained three-second pause. Contact's made, but the bug doesn't fall. It just goes quiet as the can clamors against the floor. He's hoverhanding his knife just in case, but...it just...looks stuck?]

This isn't working.

[Annnnd it's emitting an orange fog-like mist, this one less-opaque than the other. Like a freakin' smokescreen, or the makings of one.]

Ohmygod you did it.

[ he looks to keith like he's the actual ruiner of worlds, bringer of the apocalypse. ]

You've killed us! That's probably some toxic alien gas!

[ at least it isn't a space skunk... amirite.... ]

It's the same thing as before!

[Just yellowfartstuff. It's darker, yeah, but how many deadly functions can one dumb bug have? Black widows and similarly vicious bugs don't count. Nevermind that it's an alien bug with unknown functions which was the entire purpose of him being concerned in the first place.

It's just, once Lance starts complaining, his stance changes.]

Maybe -- it might be dead? [Squinting through the fartfog with a forearm covering his face.] It's not moving.

[Maybe he mushed it into the ceiling and it's now exiting this realm in the form of a death cloud.]

[ lance quiets, inching a little closer to get a better look. squinting up, he can sort of... see how keith might think it's dead. i mean it's not moving, for one thing. and it does look like it's just kind of. pressed there. ]

...Aww. That's sad.

[ ??? look don't ask him to make sense of this rollercoaster of emotions okay. HUSBAND AND WIFE BUGS ARE DEAD. what if they had kids... now they're orphans...!

also the gas isn't turning their skin green or making them vomit their guts out or anything... so not having that kind of panic is nice. ]

Edited 2017-08-25 00:55 (UTC)

[Is...it? The thing was a nuisance. It probably didn't even know it was killed, either. Keith spares a moment of mourning, looking from Lance to Allura, back and forth several times..and clears his throat.]

I'll boost you if you think you can scrape it off.

[If those bugs procreated, they're all in for more noisy-early mornings.]

[Meanwhile Allura finally lifts up the book she squashed the bug with as this back and forth between the two boys is going on, the dead and done creature stuck to the cover, leaving behind its guts on the ground.

So she just sets the book corpse-side up on a counter, nudging it near Keith and Lance's current situation, one hand over her mouth to keep from inhaling the gas, even if it's nothing dangerous.]

[ lance just gives keith a dry look. like he can trust the other boy won't "accidentally" drop him... ]

Or, I can boost the princess.

[ he turns towards allura eagerly. if he's gonna be doing some heavy (not that you're heavy, princess!) labor, he might as well try and make it as pleasant as possible!

for him, that is.

he laces his fingers between his knees, squatting down some. ]

Climb on, Allura! I gotcha.

Edited 2017-08-26 17:22 (UTC)

[she stares at him.

and then looks down at her nightgown.

then back at Lance.]

Why not give Keith a boost?

[For what it's worth, Keith's not bothered by the bugsquashed book. That can just be the thing they use to kill bugs from now on.

Not a good distraction from Lance's perversion. He's looking skeptically between them; where's Shiro when you need an intervention?]

Why are you making her scrape the bug off?

[Have her boost you...coward. Sissy. Not to say she's too prissy or incapable -- she did murder the first one, but how ungentlemanly can ya be.]

[ mAKING HER BOOST HIM IS EVEN MORE UNGENTLEMANLY?

ok you know what, fine, fun team bonding time is over. ]

Why doesn't Keith just get a chair and scrape it off himself since he made the mess in the first place?

[He doesn't know....he doesn't know that...]

[Holy quiznak you boys are just!!!

Allura sighs, LOUDLY, and taking the bug corpse book once more she comes between the two of them and the squashed ceiling bug, and with little preamble, begins to shift to a taller height so she's a good heads taller than both Keith and Lance.

Using the book and her ease of access, she barely has to reach up, and she scrapes the bug and its guts along with it, letting it fall to the floor.

Then she silently drops the book down on the floor primarily for dramatic effect, shrinks back to her normal height, and goes to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.]

[He'll watch it plop from the ceiling to the floor, quietly, comically quiet as Allura ends the entire argument in under a minute.]

[annnd she's gone.]

You pissed her off again.

[Lance.]

—Me? You're the one that couldn't even get rid of a bug properly!

[ technically, that's all of them. but he's dropping this conversation! (partly because he's losing) and rushing off after allura, simpering. ]

That was really cool, princess! You sure showed those bugs who's boss..! Heh.

[He'll just. Watch Lance skitter off and do that. He's got bugstuff to deal with, even still.

He'll take to a knee, pinch the insect's leg between his fore and thumb and...just...head to the bathroom to flush it into the sewers. Oyasumi bugdad(??).]

[ it is, unfortunately, a fairly common occurrence:

lance was having a dilemma.

luckily, this particular dilemma did not have anything to do with stolen lions, or evil brainwashing sea serpents, but rather a far more practical dilemma... which is somehow worse.

he spent a good portion of the morning considering his options. he could approach allura, of course, who has always been the far more welcoming and accommodating of the two, and though their situation is different now, lance doesn't think that would largely change if he were to asks her.

then again, if he were to ask her, he would risk incurring perhaps not her ire, but definitely her judgment and possibly even her disappointment, and lance doesn't think his heart nor his ego could withstand such a devastating blow.

there's keith, of course, but keith is keith, which means he'd probably spend a good portion of his asking detailing exactly how and why he came to this position, whether keith actually doesn't know, or he'd just play dumb to drag lance through the fire — it's really anyone's guess. plus, asking keith would be indirectly admitting he'd failed at something, and he knows his ego wouldn't be able to withstand that.

but who else did that leave him with? he doesn't exactly want to tap onto the shoulders of any of the other friends he'd met here, if only because it wouldn't really leave them with the best impression of him, and he's still valiantly working on leaving a good one with the majority of them.

all this to say, really, that there's a reason lance suddenly corners his two housemates, a wide smile spread across his lips and a ready plan on his tongue. ]

Who wants to go on a shopping trip~??

[ because, you know, just flat out asking for money would be way too difficult and complicated. ]

[Keith's been entertaining himself with a giant, uneven and frankly crude piece of wood he probably shaped all on his own, like how the contestants on Naked and Afraid have to (sometimes) craft rafts in order to reach the rescue boat/chopper/etc. On it is a tally of the days he's spent on the planet so far, etched in with his Galran knife; some other random symbols pop up here and there -- symbols whose meanings are known only to him.

And, of course, his initial response to Lance's sudden offer is akin to a kid who's just been interrupted for dinner in the middle of a pivotal black temple raid. A sigh heads his response.]

What?

[As anticlimactic as ever. He hasn't misheard anything, nor does he need the offer to be repeated. He just thinks it's an asinine thing to bring up because he's a stick in the mud.]

Don't you have anything better to think about?

[She had been in the middle of eating a biscuit and has daintily shoved it in her mouth before Lance had cornered both her and Keith. So her annoyance at first has to do with 1) it being Lance cornering her, 2) Lance cornering her while her mouth was full, and 3) well just. Lance.

But at the mention of a shopping trip, her eyes grow wide, less annoyed and more excited, and she swallows the bite of her biscuit a bit too quickly, pausing to cough, and then rising from the small table in the kitchen.

After all, she hadn't gone shopping with the others when Coran had taken them to the swap moon, and modern-day, strong female character aside--

She does enjoy a good shopping trip with friends.]

Shopping? [She clasps her hands together.] I'd love to go!

[Sorry not sorry Keith you're the odd voice out.]

[ despite keith's complete and utter lack of enthusiasm, lance will not be dismayed! especially not when allura smiles at him so brilliantly like that, which really only gives him just the right amount (read: any) of encouragement he needs. thank you for continuing to be amazing, allura. you are a star. ]

That's the spirit, Princess! [ have a couple of fingerguns. shine on, you star you! ]

What better way to spend our time acclimating to our new environment than by acquiring the garments and attire native to this foreign but exciting land?

[ ...did he use enough fancy big words? are you confused/impressed/convinced yet?? ]

[Ah yes, the minority. Just like that Green Day song. There's a look he's giving Allura. It's the look of a red-state father whose son just told him he's going to be attending Bronycon. There's a half-shake of the head, too, partially refusing her consent even though he's not no say in the matter. She responded too quickly for him to even advise her against the trip...]

By not doing that.

[Flatly, at Lance, especially to remove the wind from those Big Word sails. On the other hand, he doesn't have an alternative to offer. Sitting here quietly festering in brewing mania is all he's got.]

[For once, the fingerguns are warranted. Again, she didn't have the pleasure of going to the swap moon with the rest of the gang, and she really could use an extra set of clothes or two. She's worried her flightsuit and the one spare dress she's acquired are getting a bit musty.

...but she will also assert her authority in lieu of Keith being a poorly dressed joykill. She clears her throat.]

Lance is right, Keith. Shopping at the local market is the best way to get to know this planet's culture and its people.

Coran has always somehow managed to pick up an interesting story or piece of lore by chatting with shopkeepers back when him and father would travel to the swap moons. There is a lot to learn from these locals.

[Plus..........jewelry.]

Exactly. [ god he's so thankful his dumb reasoning worked out. ] We're supposed to be blending in and everything, right? It'll be in our best interest to know the do's and don'ts of this place!

Put your sad board down, Keith. And bring your wallet!

[ ONWARD, FRIENDS! ]

[Allura disagreeing with him here will the the biggest mistake of her lifetime. He's frowning in the most disappointed way ever, mentally parting with his Quiet Night at her whim. He could still offer to....watch the house, but it's more likely he'll have to make sure Lance doesn't get the two of them involved in a weird cult.]

There's nothing -- I'm not buying anything. If I'm going, it'll just be to make sure you don't do anything stupid.

[And so his plans are revealed, setting the board down quietly, brows permanently furrowed.]

I'm not blending in, I'm not gonna stay here forever.

[Way to start triggering him btw.]

[Um excuse you Keith, she holds rank over all of you as of now, so it is in fact a grave mistake to disagree with her.

Anyway, she's pretty much all set to go, gathering her plate and utensils to place in the sink, but not before taking the finishing bite of her meal.

She politely finishes chewing before responding:]

We may not plan on staying on this planet forever, but it is still important to look the part of a native while we are here.

Standing out like a purple Fla'ryngo will do none of us any good, even if our stay is temporary.

[Yeah, definitely more difficult to disagree with Allura. Doesn't quite have the same flow.

Or satisfaction.

He mumbles something about not looking like a purple Fla'ryngo anyway. He's got his wallet and knife, so he's ready to go, reluctant as his posture indicates, arms crossed, abundantly petulant.]

This better not take all day.

[He's got vargas of alone time planned.]

[ lance is too excited that they're both on board to wonder why things suddenly sound agreeable when allura's the one saying them. (he bets it's the accent.) ]

That's the spirit, Keith! What Allura said — we don't wanna be a purple Flarey-mango. [ or something.

anyway, LANCE IS PUMPED, the others are pumped! (as... pumped as they can be, anyway) everything's great. everything's grand. he'll even be the one to lead the way there because, let's be real, the possibility of the other two knowing is... slim...

anyway, chatter! ]

So what're you guys thinking of getting first?

[It's totally because Keith is Weird when it comes to authority figures which you are not, Lance.

But whatever the case may be, this shopping trip is well underway. She has some spare currency tucked away on her person (because a princess knows to buy dresses with pockets) and she'll take to Lance's side, glad to be out of the house doing something remarkably mundane but something she's been wanting to do with friends for quite some time.]

I'm thinking new shoes. The boots on my flightsuit are still suitable for travel, but I do find myself lacking the usual amount of footwear that had been available back on the Castle.

[Even if she's only worn like. A total of Two outfits but whatever that's cartoon logic and this is Reality.]

[Keith will be, of course, bringing up the rear, at least six paces behind his companions. He can hear the conversation just fine, follow it just as well too, but he has nothing of merit to contribute...further solidifying the fact that this is going to be the most cumbersome thing he's had to do since....since actually arriving here.

Y'all have fun talking about shoes and whatnot. He'll be busy making sure nobody decides to jump them while, simultaneously listening for signs of their lions. Doing important stuff.]

[ that's ok keith you stay back there, let allura and lance be alone— i mean... lead the way... ]

Ooh, good choice, princess! Were you looking for something more fancy or practical? Me, I'd probably go with a nice jacket, maybe some new pants... Not that the paladin suit isn't comfortable, [ he's quick to say, ] but it'd be nice to have something closer to what I usually wore back home.

[ aka something that isn't quite so... form-fitting. ]

Don't worry, [ he calls over his shoulder to the other boy, ] I'm sure they'll have something nice and plain and boring for you.

[ can't have too much excitement, fun police. ]

pretend it's allura in the icon instead of hunk

here's a hijinx prompt

time to kick keith out of the house.

don't tear this family apart

votes keith off the island

is there an order we're going in cus i'm cutting loose

yolos

same

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insert obligatory shopping montage

oh my god, shoes

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I FORGOT TO ENABLE NOTIFS ON THIS THREAD WOOPS.

kicks samii off the island too

blocked and deleted

WOW.

lena started it

wow??

i'm dropping the game bc of this bye losers

voltron discourse in nasa

ears: pointed or round?