nysalogs | CLOSED ♪ And it's a long way forward

[So this was it.]

[He could feel his hold on this world slipping away. It wasn't the first time he's experienced this, but it's the first time he doesn't know what to expect. Will he return to the concept of time from which he was born? Will he fade away to nothingness? Will he be resurrected by the Natha, as the rumors say? Or will Faust be brought back without him?]

[At least it seems he's destined to slip away peacefully. When did he fall asleep, he wonders. Is this a dream? It doesn't seem too bad. The murky blackness that surrounds him feels nostalgic in a way he's never paricularly yearned for before -- the familiar nothingness of Gehenna. A place he never thought he would see again.]

[He crouches down on the "ground" and hugs his knees, eyes sliding closed. Ah, whatever... he feels so tired. It wouldn't be long now, it seems.]

[She can't seem to wake up.

She's not sure if it's because of some magical means or because her mind and body have simply shut down, unable to deal with reality and the exhaustion. not that she feels much better in this dream or anything.

But there's nothing but darkness, and so through it she wanders. It's not...unfamiliar, unfortunately. The quiet and the darkness just recalled memories of being trapped in Vah Ruta and she... She survived that once before, all on her own. She could survive it here too.

Except, she's not on her own. The bandaged figure that appears before her isn't a familiar one at first, but after a moment--]

Mephsito--!? [She wants to believe, but at the same time can she even trust her own mind at this point? Was this his dream then? This wasn't the first one she'd been through looking for help, but she can't help but be a little in disbelief]

[He looks up when he hears a name being called. Is that his name? It feels so hard to focus on anything. But when he sees Mipha, he recognizes her immediately.]

[At first his one visible eye goes wide, a brief surge of dread washing over him as he wonders what it could mean, seeing her here right now. But it soon passes. This, too, must just be a hallucination.]

...well, now. I wonder what I could have possibly done in life to earn the right to see you in my final moments.

[It's a rather strange flood of emotions; on one hand she's beyond relieved to see him, even in this state, and she rushes to kneel by his side, her hands reaching out but not touching him On the other hand, she's angry, hurt. Betrayed?

But his words break through that, a little.] 'Final moments'? [She echoes him, bewildered] You're-- You're being over-dramatic. [She tries to smile, but can't muster it, just staring at him quietly.]

Where-- ['Where are we?' maybe, is what she was going to ask. Or maybe it would've been more 'where were you,' but instead she changes direction and asks:] What happened?

[He doesn't reach out for her in turn, not even when she's inches away from him. This isn't real... and even if it was, he wouldn't want her to see him like this. This disgusting, rotting body, littered with wounds -- mostly self-inflicted while still caught in his captors' thrall. Maybe it would be better not to delude himself into thinking she's real.]

["What happened"? He hears her question -- but he doesn't want to answer. He doesn't want to think about it again, and risk returning to that place in his final moments...]

[But he can't lie to Mipha. Not even in a dream.]

Are you asking me this to force me to accept it, I wonder?

[If she's just a figment of his own consciousness, maybe this is just his mind's way of preparing himself. A new twist on dying he's never experienced before.]

I've already accepted it. I'm dying. It would be foolish of me to deny it at this point.

Stop it, stop saying that. [She doesn't think to use her powers, not even here, not when that gemstone is still embedded in her body. It shows up even in this dream-verse, bright blue and stuck around her collar and preventing her from healing--she's not sure it would even work in a dream.

She touches him at last, uncertain, shaky fingertips brushing against his face and then the bandages, brow furrowed.]

I don't understand. [Why did he look like this? He couldn't possibly be actually dying or anything, right? It was simply impossible from what she'd been made to understand by his explanations before.]

I wish I could. But I promised myself I wouldn't lie to you anymore.

[There's not much uncovered skin left to touch, but when she does, she'll find it to be brittle and fragile -- cracking and bleeding at the slightest touch. And yet he doesn't outwardly react to it, almost as if it doesn't hurt him.]

[No. What hurts him is what he just said. Reaching up with a shaky hand, he grabs onto her wrist -- his grip so weak, it might as well not even be there.]

But then... I already broke a promise to you, didn't I?

[Her fingers pull back at the first sign of the skin crumbling away, but the horror she feels is dulled, like she's going through the motions of the emotion without quite feeling it. She know she should be horrified, but the sleep deprivation is making everything sluggish.

It makes it harder to keep control of her emotions, which is why her eyes instantly begin to fill with tears at his question. Normally she would've been more--diplomatic. Playing off her own hurt to focus on his an this situation, but she can't. She just can't.

Her voice gets higher and cracks with emotion as she struggles to hold back her tears] Why didn't you come? What did I do? [The thought that he might've been kidnapped too has still not crossed her mind--she wasn't yet aware that there were other groups of hostages to begin with]

I heard you call my name.

[In contrast to her, his own voice is soft and even. Almost dreamlike, as though he were only really half here. But it doesn't stay that way, and the more he talks, the more distressed he begins to sound--]

I heard you calling to me over and over. I heard every thought, every whisper... even the times you didn't mean to call out to me, I could hear it from every corner of your heart.

But I was powerless. All I could do was listen as they tortured us. Hoping with every fiber of my being that someone would find you-- and save you from--

[He cuts himself out with a sudden wheeze and a gasp, dropping his hand down from Mipha's wrist to instead clamp over his mouth. When nothing seems to happen after a few seconds, he runs his hand up over his face, covering the spot where his other eye should be.]

...so it would stop. So I wouldn't have to hear that sad voice anymore... to feel your pain anymore.

[He'd mentioned it briefly back when he told her his true name. That it was dangerous to call a demon's name carelessly. He'd meant for that statement to be taken at face value -- simply acknowledging a demon could be dangerous, as many gained power through the fearful gaze of humans. But there was more to it than that. If a demon doesn't answer -- it's always for a reason.]

[He promised himself he wouldn't lie to her.]

[But if he believed this was the real Mipha, he would have never told her this.]

[It feels like a hard ball of ice has dropped into her stomach and she stares at Mephisto with growing horror and guilt.]

I...I didn't... [She hadn't thought. She hadn't known. She'd been calling for him selfishly and the fact that it was causing him so much suffering hadn't occurred to her at all. 'Listen as they tortured us,' he says, and the coldness seems to grow more pronounced, seeping into her bones. It feels like she's choking.]

I didn't think... Mephisto, I'm so sorry. [Mipha can't even begin to figure out what to do here or how to make up for this terrible blunder.] I was so-- So desperate, I didn't... But that's just an excuse, I shouldn't have been so selfish. I...

[Her fingers touch at his wrist, gently trying to tug his hand away.] You were taken too? I didn't know. I-- When I wake up, I'll heal you again. It'll all work out, you'll see, if you just hold on--

[He's not expecting to hear her apologize, nor to look so horrified by what he said. This was just a dream, a final hallucination before his body gave its last breath -- so why is she behaving like this? Why would be want to see her react like this? It was almost as if--]

...Mipha, are you-- is this... real?

[And now, the one faced with a dawning sense of horror was Mephisto. She didn't need to apologize. No matter how much he may have suffered, for her to call him so desperately like that, her own must have magnitudes worse than his. He was a demon after all. He's experienced worse.]

[But she's not going to have much of a chance to reply to him. As he stares back at her, blood begins to well up in his eye like tears, soaking into the bandages. And then, much like before, he gasps and wheezes, lurching forward as dark red blood falls from his lips.]

[He didn't have much time left.]

I'm real. Of course I'm real. [That she can say with certainty, but this.. .This had to be a bad dream, right? A nightmare. He couldn't really be--

He jerks forward and she reaches for him again, wrapping her arms around him] Stop! [As if her protest will get anywhere] You mustn't-- Please, Mephisto. [She pulls back to examine his face, desperate for a sign of-- Something. Hope? Her vision blurs with tears.]

I'll heal you. I'll heal you a thousand times over, but you can't... You can't go. I've only just found you again. I'm being even more selfish, I know, but allow me it this once, please!

[The bandages around his body slowly begin to turn red as the skin underneath bleeds through. He'd mentioned before how excruciatingly painful this condition was when it finally claimed a life, but it's certainly not a very pretty sight either.]

If I could... allow you to be the most selfish person in all of El Nysa... I would do it in a heartbeat. But I...

[He wants to hold her. To take away that sad expression, to tell her everything will be all right. He feels that desire so strongly-- has he ever felt something like this for another person before?]

["Samael."]

[A voice calls from behind Mephisto, where a man now stands a few feet away. Similarly wrapped in bleeding bandages is another Mephisto-- but it's not Mephisto. His hair is brown, and lacking that signature curl. Ears rounded, teeth flat, and his eyes a softer green than Mephisto's. A human.]

["It's time. You promised to show me everything this world has to offer, didn't you?" The man walks over, resting a hand on Mephisto's shoulder. Unlike Mephisto, he's smiling fondly. "So show me what happens next."]

[Mephisto doesn't spare the man a glance, his gaze locked on Mipha. He can't stay here with her. But he can't leave her here like this, either.]

[Reaching up, he tentatively rests a hand on her cheek. And as he does, the very world around them appears to be cracking and crumbling away.]

Mipha... it's time for you to wake up.

[She shakes her head as he speaks.] I can't-- I won't. No. [No no no no. It couldn't be like this. It couldn't end like this.] Goddess, please... [Was it right to pray to another deity for the sake of a demon from an entirely different religion? She'd offer prayers to anyone if it meant keeping him around longer.] If I wake up, you'll be gone.

[She was so, so tired of losing people and just-- Just tired.

But Mipha is also reasonable, usually. She's not one to chase and cling to the improbable, to hurt herself or others with impossible hopes, but she doesn't want to let this go, let him go. Her head tilts into the touch, tears soaking his fingers.

Was this just one more thing she had to resign herself to accepting? What good was being a princess or a champion when things like this kept happening? She reaches up to cover his hand with her own, clinging in a desperate way that betrays how carefully controlled and firm she keeps her voice]

I will see you again. This isn't goodbye. [It couldn't be. She'd make whatever deal with the devil (ha) she had to with the Natha to get him back if she had to]

[Seeing that desperation on her face was heart-wrenching. He didn't want to let go. It's not so often he finds himself on this side of things... he truly was blessed to have met her. Even now, in his final moments, she's showing him something new.]

[He leans forward and presses his forehead against hers, but keeps his eye open -- even as the rot visibly starts to seep into it as well, taking away his sight.]

It's never really goodbye with us. As long as time continues to flow, I'll always be with you. But that's... rather cliche, isn't it?

[The world cracks and crumbles even more, as a bright white light starts to pierce the darkness. But unlike Mipha, Mephisto seems to be cracking with the world as well. Soon, she'll no longer even feel his hand against her cheek.]

[But it's not enough time. He wants more-- just a little more! There was still so much he wanted to say. Things he needed to say, things he--]

[He... he needs to say it. Just in case this really is good-bye.]

Mipha... I--

[But then it all fades to white.]

[Mephisto stumbles out of his pod even more confused than the first time it happened. He stares out at his surroundings, wondering at first whether this, too, is simply part of the dream he had before... before...]

[He died.]

[There's a lot to take in. He spends a good amount of time just standing there, staring at Lucifer's sleeping face and wondering what he would think about what happened. Lucifer hated suffering... even when he came to declare war, he tried one last time to plead for Mephisto to join him, for his brother to return to his side, to end the "suffering" using what he believed to be the cure.]

[His ideas were twisted. His was of thinking was wrong. But his heart, perhaps, was in the right place. Seeing him now, just a few scant inches in front of him, he suddenly feels so very far away...]

[From there, he wanders alone to the quarantine area of Thesa Station, and summons each and every one of his familiars and just... sits with them. Did they feel any pain when he died? Were they aware of his suffering-- and pained over being unable to do anything about it? What would they want to say to him, he asks, if they had died and returned to him unexpectedly... what would they say? What would he want them to say?]

[What should he say to Mipha? What could he say, after failing her like this? He's never felt so lost after dying before.]

[If he could only just ask Faust... would he know? All he can hear is that warm, familiar laughter in the back of his mind... of course he'd enjoy watching all of this.]

[But he can't stay here forever. There are people he needs to see. How did the others in his little cell fair? Did Reign make it out okay? Was Slaine crying alone somewhere? Yona... what even happened to her?]

[And Mipha... she did wake up, didn't she?]

[Ultimately he decides to follow the advice of one of his closest, yet simplest familiars. It doesn't matter how he does it or what he says. None of that is going to matter--]

["Because I love master! I'd just be happy to see you!"]

[...]

[Love, huh.]

[There's no fanfare when Mephisto appears. He just does, wherever Mipha is, in the same usual instantaneous fashion he usually does. All thing considered, he probably ends up appearing right in her room, spooking her little penguin friend awake, and kneeling by the side of her bed.]

...hello, Mipha.

[Medoh is, thankfully, probably, used to Mephisto's presence around Mipha. It's why, even though he's definitely startled, he doesn't immediately start raising a fuss. if Mephisto's here, it means Mipha might be happy again-- that's always how it is when Mephisto visits, isn't it?

So Medoh wiggles off of Mipha and off the bed, presuming his guard duties over now for the time being. Mephisto is here, so everything will be better, he's assured of that.

Mipha, however, begins to stir from her doze. She looks better, at least--most of the bruising has fade completely, but there are cuts and marks all over her, including what will surely become a scar on her collar from where that stone had been embedded.

She hadn't intended to doze, either. Sleep had quickly become something to be avoided, since all it did was bring back nightmares and memories she'd rather be pushed aside; sometimes it was Mephisto, cracking beneath her fingers like broken glass and shattering away. Sometimes it was the captors an their knives or the beat of wings and something chasing and chasing--

And sometimes it's her and Link and Zelda and the Champions, talking around a campfire and laughing. Tugging Duo's hand to lead him through the Zora domain, or convincing Mephisto to swim with her so she can kiss him among the waves, breathless and dizzy with happiness.

Sometimes the dreams are nice, and those are the worst of all.

Although Medoh's moving had stirred her, it's the presence of another voice that has her really snapping awake. She sits up abruptly, alarmed and alert, but trying to make sense still of what's happening, what's coming--

Her gaze settles on him, expression one of disbelief and uncertainty.] Another...dream...? [She murmurs it, looking at him skeptically, trying not to get her hopes up]

[He can't help but feel grateful that she woke up so suddenly, or else he might have worried that her slumber was anything less than natural.]

[He opens his mouth to say something, but right away, the words catch in his throat. The memories of that dreamy state he was in just before dying, how she saw him, what he said to her--]

[To apologize doesn't feel like enough. To stay here and talk to her doesn't feel like enough. Has he ever felt this shaken by something before?]

[And so he opts not to say anything at all. And in seconds, he's moved up off the floor and onto the bed beside her, arms thrown around her and pulling her into a tight hug.]

[She doesn't quite respond at first except for the sharp inhale of breath as his arms wrap around her. But how can she react? How was she supposed to react? It seems too unreal, an impossible dream come to life, but he's warm and solid and she--

Shaking, she moves a little slowly at first, unsure, but when he doesn't immediately disappear again, she clings to him desperately. He was real and alive and here. Mipha can't even feel embarrassed when she bursts into tears this time, silently begging, praying, that she wasn't about to wake up, that he wasn't about to dissolve away and leave her all alone again]

[She won't hear it from him, nor will she see it with the way he's holding her. But she'll feel it -- those shaking, trembling arms and shoulders, the little hitches to his breathing... he might just be crying as much as she is]

[How long will this go on? He'll hold her for hours if allowed, well beyond when both of their tears have dried. But as soon as some semblance of silence falls between them, he'll speak. And despite everything, he manages to keep his voice even and calm.]

I'm sorry.

I promised, and yet... I couldn't be by your side. I can't even promise that the same couldn't happen again...

[What a weak, foolish demon he is. He feels as though everything has been building up to this, to the moment it would finally sink in just how powerless he's become. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.]

Don't apologize. [Her voice sounds thick with emotion to even her own ears, and despite her own attempts to keep calm, her voice shakes a little.]

Neither of us could have... Could have known or planned for such a thing. I... I shouldn't have kept calling like that.

[She presses her face against his shoulder, shaking her head a little.] You're here now. That's what matters to me.

I don't want you to ever think that you can't call for me if you need me.

[He says it firmly, resting his hand on the back of her head. As painful as it was to hear her and be unable to reach her... he would much more hate the thought of her holding back and not calling for him when she's in danger.]

As painful as it was, if you hadn't, I-- I imagine I would have forgotten the sound of my own name.

[As much as she wants to blame the sleep deprivation, the torture, the--everything, shame still floods through her that she'd doubted him so much to begin with.] I thought-- [She begins, stops, and takes a deep breath. She doesn't want to admit. Has to admit it. Has to-- What? Clear the air? Feel punished, somehow, for everything going wrong, even if it was forces so far outside both of their control?

Mipha closes her eyes, her voice growing small] I don't know. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought...It had to be me that was wrong, because... I didn't want to believe it was anything on your end. I didn't know others had been taken too.

...I'm sorry for my doubt. [There's a feeble little laugh managed] I would think, 'when this is over, I'll be sure to give him a piece of my mind'... It helped, sometimes, to think of you--of us.

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3 days later

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